


Kitsune: helping a harlequin (on hiatus)

by halo4hire



Category: DCU, Naruto
Genre: Character Death, F/M, I have no idea how tags work, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:55:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 75,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25340470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halo4hire/pseuds/halo4hire
Summary: A war torn world with no chance of survival send their only hope of the future and their greatest champion to a new world. There they are found by a black knight and learn how to live again in a world of superheroes. Some heroes names are changed and some are altered.
Relationships: Harleen Quinzel/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	1. End of an era

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note: before you begin this story, know I have no idea where I'm going with this and it might not even be completed. I'm writing this mostly out of boredom and have no real plans for the story outside of an eventual Naruto/Harley. This is rated E for several reasons due to my twisted mind needing a reprieve and outlet. There will be mentions of rape, abuse, suicide, depression, and hurt. I'll try to keep them to a minimum, but the warning is there. This is also my first time posting on Ao3 and I haven't the foggiest what I'm doing. I think I have the tags right
> 
> If you want to find me for a conversation, look me up on discord   
> @Halo the worst fanfiction writer#6441  
> Or join my server: https://discord.gg/E7EhDDp

The night air was cold on his skin as he walked through the empty village, still with no wind like the air itself agreed to pay respects to the dead. He had failed everyone. His mentor, his predecessor, his leader. He failed, and yet, he somehow did succeed. Success at stopping the end of the world, but what world remained when only a handful of people survived?

Whole villages had been whipped out by the final assault, untold amounts of casualties, but hey, they won. Victory had never felt so empty for him. He had tried opening up to the woman he thought was his, but that fell empty. Not her fault really, he was just cold and numb. Oh sure he'd put on that stupid grin and play cheerful but she could see right through him, in more sense than the fact she could literally see right through him with her eyes. She had called him out for being the liar he was, told him he needed to grieve.

Greif. What a fun word; the deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death. How was he supposed to simply overlook the death of millions? Men, women, children, all dead because a rabbit bitch of a wannabe goddess decided she didn't like sharing what wasn't hers. She had ripped chakra from near everyone, even nature itself damn near. This world was dying and there wasn't a damn thing he could do. He wasn't the savior he tried to be, he wasn't the solution to every problem the world could dream up.

PEOPLE HAD DIED BECAUSE HE COULDN'T STOP THE BITCH IN TIME!

Even the combined might of Kurama, nature, and a deus ex machina couldn't stop her. Kurama. His life long companion and closest friend; the damn fox had been with him since birth. His father had died stealing half of kurama into him, his mother had died holding the fox still long enough for the seal to take effect, His god father had died trying to keep the fox inside of him, only for the dumb fox to expend near every bit of the chakra that made his being to save his host from being torn apart by a dimensional wall Kaguya had held him against. Oh the fox wasn't dead, but it might as well be, as it was barely a wisp of itself.

LIke that traitorous duck headed shit cared. All the damn power in the world and he still didn't understand he wasn't alone. The full might of Indra inside the idiot and he still died alone because he kept pushing people away. His oh so precious eyes gouged out, body broken and all that power he vaunted, tossed everything aside for, all that devastation he brought, useless against kaguya. The emo's final breath used to help him seal the bitch away. Not like it mattered in the end, there were only 16 survivors left in the world now. Even less once starvation caught up. The elemental nations barren, lands once rich with life now desolate. They were starving, holed up in the ruins of the village of his birth and there was nothing he could do. Nothing he could say. He truly was a useless dummy, wasn't he?

With only fifteen people, sixteen counting himself, survivors of the chakra massacre as they were calling it, what could they really do? The lands refused to produce growth, the bijuu were gone, no animal life remained, the stores of food now dwindling down to nothing. Nothing he did made any difference. He had moved around the world trying to find a habitable place for them to nurse their wounds and maybe start over, but nothing. It was as if Nature was shuddering her last breath.

Then the deaths began: 16 became 15. Tsunade succumbed to the injuries she sustained in the fight. His last living connection to the Uzumaki and remaining relative passed in an induced coma. 15 became 14, The tsuchikage's granddaughter, Kurotsuchi, the only person to survive ALL of her chakra being ripped from her body. Her body was pulled down from a tree limb that morning when the watcher's found her, she had hung herself. They were dying one by one. Iruka, Sakura, Kiba, Karui.

Hinata.

Hinata's death had hurt him the most. He had found her under the rubble of the collapsed hokage tower, her lower body pinched between the ground and about 4 tons of rubble. He had been forced to send her to the shinigami himself so she didn't suffer. Her last words to him, spoken through shuddering gasps mixed with blood and spittle, were asking him to stop lying to himself, stop hiding under a mask, to stop presenting a fake smile. He snapped her neck in a quick twist so she wouldn't suffer.

There were only eight of them left, as Naruto walked through the ruins of what once was his home. Eight people that held little hope of survival, well Shikamaru still did, somehow. The lazy genius was ironically the only one who hadn't been broken and was still searching for an answer. The laziest of them all was working while the other 6 was waiting for the end. Naruto didn't hold out hope, but he helped anyway, as it was something to do, something to get his mind off his colossal failure of saving the world, only to doom it.

Footsteps crushed the rubble under foot as someone came rushing towards him in a quick gait. He could smell the tobacco from shika's cigarette, one of the few things they had in plenty, cruelly enough, dwindling supplies of food, stockpiles full of tobacco.

"I believe I found something Naruto ," The lazy genius exclaimed as he came to a stop beside the hunched and broken form of the man.

Naruto turned and stared at him, his dead blue eyes without hope searching the other man. Tall and thin, Shikamaru had grown so much to resemble his late father. Scars and all. His green flak jacket, covered in dirt and frayed from years of service, hung open on his shoulder. "There is a way to save us, Naruto . I found it."

The man turned to face the other slowly, his head tilted to the side in question.

"It is out there, I get it, but I've worked through every possibility, every algorithm, every theoretical outcome."

The blonde raised his brow as he waited for the frantic man to get on with it,

"I found a way to open the dimensional wall."

Naruto blinked. Then blinked again. Slowly an emotion entered his dead eyes, one he mostly felt aimed towards himself; anger. With a snarl he lifted the genius by his neck and slammed him against the wall and pointed at the burn mark on the side of his head, starting from just above his left brow and ending near his Adam's apple in deep stretched, raised skin, covering the skin from just over the bridge of his nose to behind where his left ear used to be. The pale blue of his left eye and the bright cerulean of his right seemed to shimmer in the moonlight as rage danced in their reflection.

"I know Naruto , but we have no other option. We are dying. We have nothing else to lose. Think about it," he pulled at the hand holding him up, trying to ease the discomfort of the stone like flesh and muscle. What exactly could he say to placate a man who had to regrow half his head 16 times in the space of a second? "It's a seal, not unlike your father's hiraishin (flying thunder god) technique, we would literally be opening the wall for a few seconds, but the chakra cost would be extreme and the people holding the gate would have to be left behind. Only two can be sent."

Naruto glared at the man before sighing and dropping him and running a hand through what remained of his hair on the top of his head and the choppy growth on his chin in thought. Turning in question, he raised a brow and patted his belly.

"Are you asking if Kurama could help?" Nod "I don't think so, as you made clear yourself, the fox is almost gone. No, even with the fox helping, it would still take at least 6 of us. I've already spoken to the others and we are discussing who we will send. I came to get you for the meeting so we could talk it over."

Naruto sighed and turned to begin walking towards the rest of the group. He got three steps before he froze.

"Kagemane technique success" Shikamaru sighed, "I truly am sorry Naruto . I really am, but I wasn't completely honest. Even with as depleted as you are, I know I can't hold you very long, but I did lie. The rest of use already discussed and chose the survivors," He took a pull on his cigarette and blew the smoke out of his nose, "we chose the best of us and our future," he stuck a tag to Naruto 's as he walked around him as he talked, tears gently pouring from his eyes, "we chose you and Mirai Sarutobi," the words were becoming cloudy as darkness began to block his vision, "...am sorry Naruto . Hopefully we'll be done before you wake up from the sleep seal."

This was all he heard before his body was released from the shadow holding him still and falling bonelessly to the ground, the haze of unconsciousness already taking hold.

With a groan, he opened his eyes. The loud noises of the village he was squatting in pilfering through the thin moldy walls and seemed to echo through his skull. It had been a week since he had been thrown in this dimension. A week he had been forced to steal what they needed for food, not that he really minded, food was scarce in the elemental nations after Kaguya. Because of her, nothing would grow, and what was once vibrant viridian was now withered and rotted. Stealing was actually fairly simple in this world, as the civilians weren't trained to spot pilfering shinobi. Stealth wasn't really his style, as he preferred open combat, but he didn't want the warriors, guardians, police or whatever to be onto him so he only took what he needed to feed Mirai and left. He'd seen that big blue person with the strange red and yellow shield on his chest keep a large building from falling, so he did his best to ignore the hunger pains and just take what was needed. Mirai was quiet most of the time, hardly making much more noise than a sniffle, probably still missing Iruka.

Naruto sighed. A week he'd been here, after waking up in just his boxers for some reason, he had tried to find resources and shelter. And clothes. He had found a newspaper, but the language was weird and very different from the language of the konoha or the land of fire, so information scouting wasn't in the picture until he learned a way to communicate. Which seemed to be his biggest issue. Due to his scarring, he could barely talk above a hoarse whisper and even then it was difficult so he tended to just make gestures. Which got him bloody nowhere, lovely. Still, he had found what seemed to be an abandoned apartment building as a sort of base of operations that he jokingly dubbed the hokage tower, if only in his head, and he walked the streets trying to at least learn the lay out of the land (his godfather may have been a perv but he DID know how to spy and did teach him the basics.)

So many things were quite obviously different in this world. For one thing, the vehicles. One such rolled passed him and left him in a coughing fit from the exhaust of its engine, leaving his eyes watery and his lungs straining for clean air. That was another thing, the air was filthy! Smoke poured from pipes on top of the buildings like out of a Sarutobi's mouth, filling the air with noxious fumes.

Making a mental note to keep Mirai away from tobacco period, he made his way back to the building they were squatting in, snagging a few red sweet smelling fruits as he went. It was dark and he was fast so he doubted anyone really saw him move. He wasn't too worried. Still, it did feel like he was being watched. Whoever they were, they were good. He couldn't sense them at all. sight, smell or sound, it was like they weren't there.

Stopping just in the alley beside the apartment building he stopped and scanned the area again, looking for anyone watching him before jumping onto the side of the wall and walking up to the window he used for an entrance. As he entered, he could immediately hear Mirai sniffling and it broke his heart. They hadn't even given Iruka a proper burial before Shikamaru knocked them out and warped them here, the asshole. Could've at least allowed them to say goodbye. Not like they could go back, their world was dying and Naruto didn't see the seal they used to send them here nor was he some sealing prodigy. Oh he knew a bit about sealing, but not enough to recreate say, an interdimensional gateway. Best he could do is make storage seals and explosive tags even though he tended to overload them and make them short out.

With a snort, he followed the sniffling over to a mound of blankets in the corner where a 3 year old Mirai was hiding and placed the fruits down. He didn't know what they were called, but Mirai liked them well enough. Sitting down beside the mound with a sigh, he cracked his neck and leaned his head against the wall, wishing he at least had Konohamaru or Moegi to help him with the child. Children were not his strong point. Give him a plot of land needing reshaped, he could do that. Cheer up an incredibly withdrawn upset child that hardly knew him? Oh he tried doing the silly faces and the funny noises, but the girl just stared at him. How did Iruka do it?

Weight on his leg brought him out of his reverie as he looked down and saw Mirai laying her head on his leg like a pillow. Poor girl had been through hell. Before her birth, her father, Asuma was killed by the akatsuki member Hiden, she was just a newborn when Nagato leveled the village then losing her mother, Kurenai when Kaguya ripped the chakra from damn near everything on the planet. Most of her life she'd struggled just to survive and by jove, survive she did. He smiled, as best he could, and ran his hand through her hair gently.

He may not be a smart person, but he could and would fight for her survival. First thing he needed to do was get back some of his strength, though he doubted he'd ever be as strong as he was when he beat Kaguya. Without Kurama awake and able to assist, the fox was barely even a presence in the seal and even then barely an echo of thought as it reformed. To be honest, he was actually surprised he wasn't going into shock from the lack of the foxes presence.

He continued rubbing Mirai's head before looking around the room. That feeling of being watched was back and stronger like someone was in the room with them. He shivered, hoping ghosts weren't a thing in this world, how do you fight something that's intangible? Whatever it was, it was seriously giving him the creeps. Looking around the dark room wasn't doing anything and he couldn't smell the presence, so what could he do? Closing his eyes he focused hard on his ears, trying hard to hear- there, a heartbeat, strong but muted, muffled, like it was shielded by something. Quick as a whip, his hand was in his pocket pulling out a smooth pebble but before he could sling it, there was a bladed weapon sunk into the floor. The weapon was odd. Like a shuriken shaped like a bat but with only two blades on the wings. Movement drew his eyes to the corner as a shadow detached from the wall and seemed to grow white eyes and pointed ears.

Drawing Mirai close to him he edged slowly to the corner, doing his best to shield her from this intruder who seemed content to just watch him. As best as he could vocalize, he hoarsely whispered "what...do you...want?"

The shadow seemed taken aback for a moment before speaking in that odd language some he had heard in his foraging (read thieving) for food.

"...Japanese"

Naruto jerked his head up. He understood the last word...mostly. What the hell was Japanese? The shadow nodded before it seemed to open up and form the body of a man under its darkness. An arm pointed at the shadow's chest and it, he, tried again, "batman"

Again confusion, the shadow looked nothing like a bat.

"Intruder."

The shadow scowled, "you're a long way from Japan."

"What's...Japan?"

"Nawuto, sweepy" said the little lump in his arms.

Sending a glare at the shadow, he pointed at the door of the room, though the actual door was in tatters, probably busted through, then at the little mound and back at the door. The shadow seemed to understand as when he looked back up it was gone. 'Ok, very good indeed.' He thought as he gently sat Mirai back on the ripped up couch they were using for her bed.

Stepping out of the room he looked to see the shadow standing by the window and Naruto walked over to it.

"Who are you?"

"Nar….uto."

"Naruto ?" A nod was given

"Do you know sign language?"

"Anbu"

"Where are you from?"

"Kono….haga... kure"

"Konohagakure?" Another nod.

"Why are you in Gotham?" What the hell was a Gotham? Was that the name of the village he was in? Naruto scratched at the space where his left ear used to be, his confusion seemingly apparent as the shadow altered his question,

"Why are you in this city?" Oh so gotham was the city, now he had a name for this place.

"Is...where… we entered." The shadow cocked his head to the side at this

"Entered?"

"Not…. from...world. world ...dying, sent…. best ….fighter and future."

"Refugees?"

Naruto pointed at himself and then toward where Mirai was sleeping and held up two fingers, his ring and pinky. "Only...survivors."

He didn't want to tell the shadow, this "batman" much, but if he could get the shadow creature to help him, he would give as much as he could without disclosing secrets. The creature seemed to realize this as its scowl never really left its face.

A voice seemed to catch his attention but he couldn't understand what was said, as it was in the same language he kept hearing as well as muffled but the shadow creature seemed to understand it as well as seem to notice Naruto could hear it though its expression never seemed to change. The creature spoke back to the voice and a moment later a man with short black hair and wearing a tight form fitting suit with a red bird across his chest, and down his sleeves and gloves, entered the room from the door and a teen, looking about sixteen or seventeen came in from the window wearing a red outfit with green and yellow accents with a slanted R on his left pectoral. Both wearing strips of some type of cloth over their faces.

Naruto was immediately on guard and blocking the doorway to Mirai with the pebbles and the one weird shuriken ready to be thrown. The man with the bird on his chest held up his hands and the boy snorted and said something that got a glare from the shadow.

"My Japanese are rusty. Friend here. I are Nightwing."

Naruto snorted and tried not to smile, but didn't lower his guard, instead forming his chakra into his fall back jutsu, the rasengan (spiraling ball), "you….sound like….idiot."

The boy in red tensed and watched the swirling balls, hands inching beneath the cape he was wearing before the shadow placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

"Nawuto wowd." came a quiet voice behind Naruto as a disheveled head poked out of the blankets on the couch, her eyes still puffy from crying and sleep.

The bird man looked at the shadow and said something, gesturing from Naruto to Mirai making Naruto tense in preparation for a fight but the shadow replied back with a firm voice and the bird guy relaxed.

He kept the rasengan going anyway.

"Naruto , correct?"

"Nawuto, who dey?" He pushed Mirai back behind him with his free hand, she had wandered over to investigate and was looking at the intruders with wide eyes.

"Mirai...stay….behind."

His stomach just had to growl at the most inopportune moment didn't it? The noise breaking his concentration, letting the rasengan peter out and making Mirai giggle. Giggle. Naruto 's eyes widened as he looked down at the small child. The same child who was still sniffling had giggled. He smiled down at her in relief, which probably looked horrendous giving his scarring.

"Dey help?" The little red eyed child said, looking at the others in the room. Heavens above help him if the girl wasn't innocent to the ways of the world, but then, she was only three.

The bird boy knelt down and looked at Mirai, "what time is it?"

The shadow spoke again, addressing the bird guy again causing the bird to grimace, "łêþ§ þřý þhæþ æğæįņ what is your name?"

"You tawk funny" the bird's head sunk down, "Miwai Sawutobi" causing the bird man to look up at her.

"Mirai!" Naruto said firmly, before pointing to the couch. His stomach growled again and he punched himself trying to make it shut up, causing Mirai to giggle again. The red teen looked at the shadow and said something which the shadow responded with a nod and the teen was gone out the window.

"I sent him for food. You haven't eaten for yourself in the few days I've watched you, stealing only food and clothing and then only feeding her and not yourself. You wandered around the basic area but never in maliciousness or intent to draw attention to yourself as if to learn the area and scout for info. You say you're not from this world, and judging from that energy sphere you formed, I'm inclined to believe you. That or you are a metahuman. I am capable of helping you Naruto , but I need to understand your story."

Naruto scratched the scarring at his throat, "hard….to tell….with….difficulty….of….speech."

The shadow scratched its chin for a moment

"Are you able to write it down?"

Turns out the shadow was actually a man in a suit, who knew? The teen in red, robin apparently, had returned with a meat based sandwich so greasy, it could keep a sheen on an armory of kunai for years, not that he was complaining. It surprised the boy how quickly Naruto consumed it, once he was sure it had nothing of ill intent, as well as the one he handed to Mirai. The sandwich had disappeared down his throat faster than the boy could blink. Come to find out, there were scentless agents capable of putting him to sleep. Not for very long as he had woken up in one of the strange vehicles next to a sleeping Mirai with a much older man driving. Someone had swapped out his and Mirai's clothes for something fresher while they slept, his pilfered orange shirt and blue rough pants were replaced with smooth, loose, clothes that seemed to stretch when he moved and flexed.

*insert obligatory flashback*

Naruto snapped up, his body tense as he looked around the cramped enclosed space he was in. The windows showed they were moving, and judging by the vibrations in the floor, fairly fast. The carriage cab was not too unlike one of those norimono things the daimyo would be carried around in, only bigger and more spacious. With very very soft leather seats and some sort of polished wood detailing.

"Ah, Mr. Sarutobi, awake much earlier than expected. I am Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth, please, just refer to me as Alfred. I do so apologize, but my Japanese is a tad rusty, as well as for the accommodations you find yourself in. I pray you stay the hand currently near my throat as I must operate the vehicle as the alternative would be most unpleasant. You'll find both you and your daughter are both unharmed, merely dosed for sleep for both health concerns and necessary security, not ill intent I assure you."

"Uzumaki"

"Pardon?"

"I am…..Uzumaki, not…..Sarutobi. not daughter…..future….of my world."

"I don't believe I quite understand, are you saying she's your ward?"

"I am….warrior, best of my….people and...worst. She is the last….child, our….future. I must….teach her. Hurts to...talk."

"Ah! Here. I am not quite sure if your physiological make up is the same as ours or not, but I can offer. Master Wayne was informed of your scarring and asked me to see if a əųćæłýpþųß łœżəņğə would help make speaking easier. Apologies, I can't quite remember the word for it in your language. It's a sort of cough suppressant that helps ease inflammation in the throat, though in my experience in medicine, with the scarring, talking is probably forever going to be hard."

"...what?"

"It makes the throat feel less clogged and helps with coughing, would you like one?" He looked into the rear view mirror as he asked this, watching the blonde who was looking at the back of the elder man's chair with suspicion. He held up a wrapped menthol and popped it out of its wrapper into his mouth and smiled into the mirror before holding another over his shoulder. The hesitation and suspicion was evident in the scarred males face as he slowly reached out and took the lozenge and sniffed it before jerking his head back and making a face.

"I would say it is perfectly safe, but after Robin drugged your burger last night, I doubt you would believe me. What you smell is probably the medicine in the sweet. I do not know if they had such in your world but here in ours we make throat candies from the menthol of a ….oh dear, what is the word in your language, yukaro, yugaro, hmm, I need to practice my Japanese more, I fear I'm worse than I thought." He continued

As he turned the wheel to the right, the vehicle responded.

As Naruto pondered the little wrapped object in his hand and Alfred continued to play with his memory trying to remember the word for eucalyptus, Mirai just slept soundly, unaware of the world around her.

A click drew Naruto 's attention away from the object (he had started sniffing it again) as a screen on the dash lit up.

_"Alfred, what's your eta?"_

_"I should be there quite shortly, Master Bruce. Though I feel I should inform you, the sedative seems to have worn off of Mr. Uzumaki. He woke up shortly after being placed in the car."_

Bruce's face seemed surprised for a moment before adopting a thoughtful expression, _"what of the girl? Any change?"_

_"Oh no sir, the little dear is just simply out of it. I doubt the sedative was necessary for her at all."_

_"It was necessary to avoid conflict. If they are as….you said Uzumaki?"_ The butler gave a dip of his chin

_"I see. If they are as they claim and refugees from this konohagakure world, we have no idea if they are like the other planetary refugees. We also don't know what forced them to leave their world. Though given the aging of the scar on Naruto 's face as well as the paranoid defensive stance he took trying to guard the girl, we can assume she is of high value and someone may come seeking her. Assume until further knowledge is presented. Regardless, she is small and they were found in a very undesirable locale. With the Joker and Quinn on the loose, as well as Ivy, it's better to play it safe and offer assistance than it would be if the Clowns found them. If he's anything like the last refugee that came to earth, the damage he could bring if he were infected by Joker toxin or Crane's fear gas could potentially be astronomical."_

_"Of course sir"_ the butler replied, thinking quietly that it was more likely his employer was helping because there was a small child involved, Bruce Wayne was a sucker for helping children.

_"Ah, Master Bruce, before I forget, would you happen to know the word for eucalyptus in Japanese?"_

"Yūkari."

Naruto perked up before looking at the lozenge and smelling it again.

_"Ah thank you, I believe he seems to be putting it together. He appeared to believe it was another sedative and was most reluctant to eat the lozenge."_

_"Understandable. We need to either teach him sign or english writing, as with his scarring that could be difficult for him to speak. Once we can confirm he isn't a threat, I'll have Doctor light and possibly mister Terrific try some way to heal his throat. After that, perhaps a way to integrate them into society, they'll need some form of income, but with lack of knowledge on Uzumaki's skills or abilities, I'm not sure what form of employment he is capable of."_

_"If I may, sir? You did say he was a warrior by the stance he took? One who has seen combat? Perhaps he could be employed under the Wayne name. Say, security? It would make keeping things tidy much easier without the various criminals constantly breaking the windows or dare I say, walls. it does become tedious to continuously clean drywall out of the carpets. Not to mention, it would keep them close for observation."_

The man on the screen looked thoughtful, considering the idea.

_"Perhaps. The idea has merit, problem is, we don't know the extent of Uzumaki's character. From the body language he presents, he exudes guilt and sadness as one would being a refugee, but it wouldn't be the first time I've come across a master of body language."_

_"Indeed sir. However, I believe it would be more the child than him I would be concerned about. Uzumaki is highly protective of the child, so where she goes, I'm sure he will follow. He's also been trying to open the door for the last couple of minutes. He doesn't trust easily, sir."_

The rest of the ride had been quiet. Naruto had stopped trying to open what he thought was a door, while he figured it wouldn't withstand a rasengan or his full strength, he really had no idea where he was and couldn't leave Mirai, so he would wait until the vehicle stopped. And it did, eventually, in front of a large building on a well kept sprawl of land. the elder man stepped out and opened the door beside Naruto. As he got out, he held Mirai close to him and his back away from the elder, he knew the old rule: old warriors were able to get old for a reason. Case in point, Hiruzen, Mirai's grandfather and sandaime hokage. So since he didn't know what the old man was capable of, he would keep on his toes.

**-end flashback-**

With the help of the man on the screen, who had introduced himself as Bruce Wayne, the Shinobi were able to moderately learn english, though it was much easier for Mirai, who still found it difficult, she was three after all. Naruto struggled, even though, much to the rich man and his butler's surprise, the Shinobi used a technique he called shadow clones to multiply, but due to his throat, he still had difficulties speaking. However learning how to write it was much easier for him. He wrote down his tale for the batman, who the rich man-child knew, though as one who wore a mask all his life, he quickly figured out this was a front and had said so. The voice and inflections were the same if you listened and that was something he had to do to survive, listen. Listen for lies, listen for truths, listen for danger. The rich man had sighed and dropped the pretense of acting like a man-child and quickly became serious, intelligent, and stern. He read over the writings, asking questions, some Naruto wouldn't answer, others he explained in detail, which did little to earn the man's trust.

Mirai, however, was much happier. Playing in the yard of the manor, chasing a large black dog, though not as big as Akamaru grew to be, named Ace and the rich man's ward, Richard. She had a shock when, after some discerning between Naruto, Alfred and Bruce, on the 23rd of June she was greeted with a birthday party (A.N.) for her fourth birthday. She was a ball of giggles and energy, though she did have serene moments of melancholy.

After a year passed, and they created an identity on all the paperwork, Naruto, with the encouragement of Alfred and Richard, published his story in the form of novels, from the events of the Sage of Six Paths, Hagaromo Ootsuki, to its closure, though he altered the ending from dystopic to a bright and hopeful future, as well as changing the name of the character that represented himself, as well as many of the actual secrets of the elemental nations, under the pseudonym "Konoha HiKage" and while it didn't become a bestseller, it did sell quite well. He took the job offer to work with Alfred at the manor as security, his shadow clones easily keeping a perimeter. It was a bit of a stumble, to the irritation of Bruce, that Naruto found the hidden mechanism of a certain clock, but after looking around, Naruto had just shrugged, placed a hiraishin marker at the end of the tunnel leading into the cave and went back to playing with Mirai.

It became well known that Wayne manor had hired an elite task force to guard the lands, which Bruce easily excused by pointing out how many times one of the plethora of Gothamite villains had tried to kidnap him. It was actually kinda amusing to find Waylon Jones, AKA Killer Croc, trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey at the Wayne manor main gate with a giggling nine tailed fox drawn on a sticky note stuck to his forehead. The wire used impressed the Detective enough that, after figuring out its composition, the ninja wire became a mainstay in the utility belt. It wasn't the strongest wire the Bat had, but it was more adaptable, being able to bend and not break until pushed past its weight limit near upwards of 600 pounds (AN)

On Mirai's 5th birthday, Naruto began to teach her simple chakra manipulation from a scroll the Shikamaru had sent with him, starting with the leaf exercises. This caught Bruce's attention and after some questions learned about the secondary circulatory system they had called the chakra network. It was impressive how quickly Mirai picked it up, with naruto giving examples and short wordings to help her along. Every morning he and Miari were up at dawn with leaves sticking to them, though with Naruto's reserves made him look like a shrubbery, something Richard pointed out in hysterics.

The next morning Richard found himself taped upside down to a tree in his skivvies, slathered in honey and had a pink ribbon tied on each of his toes.

That September, a worried Naruto watched Mirai and Alfred drive off to her first day of school at Gotham academy. He was extremely concerned about not being near his ward, which Bruce understood, bringing him down to the cave for some no power sparring, something he enjoyed as Naruto was an unusual think-outside-the-box kind of fighter and rarely attacked the same way twice. This turned beneficial against some of his rogues that were proficient in combat such as Deathstroke who had the ability similar to something called a Sharingan, able to see a few microseconds into the future. Naruto had shown Batman that though he could see it in his mind, if his body couldn't move fast enough, it didn't matter so Bruce started trying to push to be faster.

Due to their physiological differences however, added on with Naruto's chakra, it was rather difficult to match the speeds Naruto moved. Which made it a challenge to work on for Bruce. A trial to overcome. He had fought much much faster foes and could think of ways to overcome any of them, but he still enjoyed the challenge nonetheless. He quickly learned that though immensely powerful, Naruto could be hurt just like any human. If you overwhelmed him in a fight, though he healed at an accelerated rate, you could bring him down. If you were an experienced fighter, you could exploit the gaps in his defense. He wasn't some immovable object like another alien refugee he could name, several of them come to mind, but he was experienced and had skill.

When offered a chance to work with him to fight crime, Naruto happily accepted, quickly designing a rather terrifying costume. Since Bruce explained the bat was meant to inspire fear in his opponents, Naruto decided a likewise route, taking on the name Kitsune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note: Mirai's birthday: I can't find any actual date of her birth, the wiki just says blank period. So I made one up.
> 
> Ninja wire: In Naruto, it never actually says what the weight limit is, though it is shown in traps that have massive logs hanging from it but can be cut with a kunai. It's actually kinda inconsistent


	2. Poisonous boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shock leads to fear and sends a whipping girl to seek help

Harleen Quinzell was many things, a psychologist, a criminal, a love sick moron for a sociopathic narcissist. One of the things she never thought she'd be was a mother. Well, she dreamed about it, fantasizing about kidnapping a kid with her puddin and raising it as her own, she just never wanted to be pregnant. Yet here she was, staring at a pregnancy test that had popped hot. This was the fifth one she'd done, 4 to be sure, 5 for the hell of it, and there it was on the digital screen a flashing plus. Wait, was it the plus of positive you are preggo or plus for positive your not preggo? Rechecking the box for what seems to be the hundredth time, she reaffirmed that yes, she was pregnant. Cripes, what the fuck is she going to do, would the Joker be happy? Oh shit, would the Joker be happy?

While Harleen Quinzell was many things, one thing she was not, though many many people would argue this, was stupid. She had published her doctoral thesis, though the experiment for her thesis was sabotaged, she still earned the damn degree damn it! Breathe Harley. No, Mistah J can't know, she'll go see that doc broad Thompson or whatever just to be sure and if it was true...

Fuck. How does she deal with this? Outside of her puddin, she has no one and even if she did, if the Joker found them, he'd kill them in some hilarious fashion, like he did to Delia. Sure it was kinda funny, in the whole "not really, why", but she missed her sister. Maybe she could put the child in the foster system? Fuck that, half the orphans in Gotham ended up working for one of the crime lords. Usually killed by them too, god knows how many henchmen her puddin went through.

Harley sighed, as she tried to organize her thoughts. The Joker normally called the shots and made the big decisions, she just basked in his glory, but with the Joker's insanity, it was hard to predict how he'd react. Oh, it'd be just great if he was just a narcissist, it'd make it much easier for her. She was going round in circles now in her head. Ivy! She'd know what to do. Ok, Harleen, let's find Ivy, she would be able to help her figure this out.

It really wasn't that hard to find Ivy: go to the place with lots of plants, look for the greenest spots. Also the thick vines and sentient flytraps kinda give it away. Oh she loved Red, but she had probably one of the most obvious liars when she laid low, almost like she needed the attention. After basically beating down a door covered in vines and getting chewed out by Charley the jug plant, getting bitched at by Frank the fly trap (Harley had named the plants in her head,) the door opened to her best friend, wearing what looked like what once was gardeners overalls, cept died green and hanging loosely on her lithe green frame. Seriously, Harley was jealous of her friend never really having to work at all to keep that booty. Harley worked hard to keep fit, 100 whack-a-goon, couple hundred squats, 50 hammer throws (not her fault the goons kept getting in the way), calisthenics, aka dodging the batarangs and wingdings.

Poison ivy quirked up an emerald eyebrow as she watched her friend get lost in thought before sighing and clicking her fingers under Harley's nose. She loved her friend with a passion, sometimes wishing there was more than friendship, but Harley was loyal like a wolf. Just loyal to the wrong person. She had been trying for quite some time now to get her to realize what the Joker really was. She clicked her fingers on Harley's nose again as the blonde was still in lala land.

"Harley, wake up."

The blonde's eyes widened before she dove and hugged the redhead, her shoulders shaking from laughter. Ivy furrowed her brows when her shoulder started feeling wet. Ok, so not laughter.

With a gesture, vines crawled under her feet, lifting the two off the ground and carrying them into the subway maintenance shaft ivy had...appropriated for her home (it's rather difficult to find good real estate as a super vil- eco-terrorist).

"Ok harls, what's the pale asshole done this time?" She asked dryly, hoping the water works would cease, her shoulder was starting to bloom.

Harley mumbled something that Ivy didn't quite catch as it was muffled in the flower bed that once was her shoulder...that was singing...her powers were getting weird. Silencing the singing blossoms with a withering glare, she pulled Harley to one of the couches a bum had left in the tunnel after her plants ate him and sat down, pulling Harley to sit beside her, "ok, Harley, try again, while I put your…..um... crybabies in proper soil, ok?" The blonde nods and fiddles with the thumbs.

Ivy was seriously getting weirded out now, as Harleen Quinzell was many things, but quiet was not often one of them. She was loud, obnoxiously so sometimes, crude and straight forward, but rarely quiet. Setting the weird plants next to...what did Harley name this one again? Jim? Fuck it, it was Jim. She'd figure out what to do with singing flowers later, idly wondering if the plants could increase the pitch into a sonic blast.

Pamela Isley was a Seattle girl, born and raised, though mostly by a maid until her father seduced her, then by herself. She kept to herself when she was younger as she was the nerd, the outcast. She graduated in the top tier of her class and was accepted at the state university, studying in the fields of botany and toxicology. She was naive though when her professor she was working with seduced her and convinced her to test his experiment so they could further the range of their research. She stupidly believed him in his charismatic charm and allowed him to perform his tests on her. It had been agonizing, leading to her being admitted into the hospital twice, nearly dying in the process. This had brought the FBI's attention to them and during another test, he fled and she was found by the agents, dying. That had been the day she died as Pamela Isley. It was later when she woke in a cramped, dark, cushioned box that it clicked, the man had betrayed her and she stupidly let him. She broke from the ground and hollow of her grave and went home, where she was promptly shot at by her distressed father. That had hurt even more, but she simply brushed it off and killed the man. Years after, she learned and honed her powers and became known as Poison Ivy. She adopted a cynical personality, but it wasn't until she met a Harleen Quinzell at Arkham that she found something she never knew she wanted, a friend. Over the 2 years they knew each other, she tried to break the spell the Joker had on her friend, even going as far as to try seducing her, but after the last one, she gave up, hurt and alone when the girl ran back to the clown. She was afraid it would be the death of Harley. Now here she was with a very upset Quinn and it was worrying. Frightening as well, as once she stopped crying, Harley just stared at the concrete floor. After five minutes, Ivy was unnerved, 

"Ok Harley, for you to be this still and quiet, something is wrong. Did the bat arrest the clown again?"

"No. No, the Bat didn't find him, but I think Mistah J is expecting him. Red? I need help."

"Ok? Harley, you're worrying me."

"Um...I think I'm pregnant, Red."

Ivy blinked as her brain sizzled from this new information, "pregnant. As in you are going to produce life?"

A nod that seemed to carry the force of a tsunami was given.

"Joker is the father."

She gave another nod and began rubbing her elbow.

"Are you a hundred percent positive?"

The clownette frowned and fiddled with her hands again, "about 80-ish. Those Walgreen tests ain't exactly reliable. Red, I don't know what to do! Should I tell mistah J? Should I hide it and hope he doesn't find out? Will my butt ever look as good as yours?"

"Shh harls. Ok there's a doctor that set up a street clinic over on Dent Avenue. Maybe we'll talk to her to be absolutely sure it's a positive," the redhead said, sitting back on the couch and rubbing the girls shoulders.

"Do we hafta go see her? Can't we just bring her here? I mean, what if one of mistah J's guys is there? Or skull face ? Scar face , the riddl-" "I get it Harley, I'll send one of my plants to get her. Now what are we going to do about the clown? I'm thinking hang him by his balls on a rose vine for the bat to find."

* * *

  
  
  


Leslie Thompson was having a weird day. First the Riddler came by and harassed her volunteers, then Clayface came by looking for a missing piece he lost, again. The Joker thought it'd be hilarious to cause her more work by slicing up one of her interns and leaving her to stitch up the work, and now she was being carried by a seven foot tall behemoth of a plant man...thing. it didn't do much more than come into the clinic and point at her. Just stood there pointing at her. It didn't attack, it didn't make demands (could it even talk?) just pointed at her until she walked over out of curiosity. It was odd as villains normally made demands or a point when they attacked. As she approached the thing knelt down and held up its arms like it wanted to hold something, which wasn't difficult to figure out what or who.

"Pass. If Ivy needs something, tell her to come in person." Was what she had mistakenly said. It was reasonable, she had patients to deal with, but try explaining that to a plant. With a shake of its head, it stood up, and with a quick tug, she was on its shoulders, somehow already down the block. Just another day in Gotham city.

* * *

  
  


"You kidnapped me and you want me to do what now?"

"It's simple, Doctor Thompkins, Doctor Quinzell believes she is pregnant and needs a practicing medical professional to make sure. As my area of expertise is botany and toxicology and her's is in psychiatry, funnily enough, we aren't the professionals in the medical field as you are and we cant have...outside sources in the know as it were." The amber skinned vixen replied with a dry tone,

The doctor (the one not currently a practicing criminal, ) took a deep breath then exhaled slowly,

"ok let's try this again, because I'm pretty sure I misheard you saying that Dr. Quinzell, aka Harley Quinn is pregnant."

When the other two nodded, she shuddered hard

"ok, that's nightmare fuel for the next month," She muttered, before donning her professional attitude, "fine, let's run down the list, I would assume to be correct that you missed your period, seeing as we are here currently, talking about this? Anything else? Severe nausea? Headaches? Soreness or severe, anywhere from arms and legs to toes?"

Two of the doctors looked at the only blonde in the room, who cocked her head to the side, "well, I have been a bit touchy in the tummy and I kinda guessed that the soreness in my arms and legs were just from the last fight with the b-man couple a weeks ago."

"Alright, any tenderness, almost painful feelings in your breasts? Swelling?"

"What?" The blonde scratched her head in confusion.

"Harls, she means has your tits got bigger." How the redhead said that with a straight face , Leslie would never understand.

"Oh! Well why didn't ya just say so? I mean yeah, but I thought that was from the thing Pam did to me so I wouldn't get sick when we played together. "

The redhead slapped her hand to her forehead and slowly slid it down to cupping her chin while the m.d. took notes on what papers she could find.

"Harley, I gave you the serum months ago. Why would it make them bigger now? Actually rather curious how you aren't infertile."

"That aside, I'd prefer to have my equipment before I make a diagnosis, particularly a β-hCG test. I assume I'm going to be held here against my will?"

Ivy raised an eyebrow and slowly shook her head, "I'm an eco-terrorist not a savage. In fact, I would rather consider this a favor between colleagues, though I must point to the standard 'tell anyone our location' spiel. Last thing we need is the bat showing up and he's standing right behind me isn't he?"

The other two and the jug plant in the corner…..smoking a blunt….nodded. Thompkins tore her eyes away from the pot smoking plant in a pot to look at the dark knight who was looking at her and shrugged.

"Well, fuck." Ivy said as she turned to see the menacing six foot two figure of the bat standing with his arms crossed and what seemed to be a permanent scowl on his face, the white of the cowl's eyes seemingly burning into her forehead. The rest of his body cloaked in the cape that wrapped around his body, allowing him to blend into the shadows of the room.

"Batman, while I do appreciate the appearance, I do not think I am in danger, as of right now nor do I believe I am under force to remain here, though as a medical practitioner, I feel I must at least help. I'm sure that you already know the situation."

The Dark Knight nodded before his deep voice, altered by the voice modulator he recently installed in the cowl, rang out, "Ivy kidnapped you to ask for your medical opinion of Quinn's pregnancy in a safe and private location so unwanted people wouldn't know. You're not under any stress, telling me most if not all the interactions have been cordial if not near friendly aside from the chlorophyll around your waist, due to the fact you're not restrained. I do have one question however." He moves to stand behind the medical doctor, "what do you need?"

While the other two women tried to get their jaws off the floor from the fact that there had been no fists flying, Leslie simply smiled, "I assume your connection with the Wayne medical firm could procure a safe room and housing for miss Quinn for her term before you send her back to that savage mad house-"

"Wait, hold on! I ain't going back to Arkham. If I have this kid, I ain't gonna be losing it to some loony toon in a cape!"

"I'm afraid we may not have a choice in the matter Harls, unless we do like that killer butterfly guy did and ditch Gotham."

"Or you do my alternative." The dark knight spoke up, his arms still crossed over his chest.

"And what's that batfleck? Break our bones, rupture our organs and give us more medical bills than we could ever afford, forcing us to sell ourselves further into crime just to get treatment?" Harley shouted out.

The other occupants stilled and stared at the jesterette, "what? Y'all forget I have a PhD? I ain't stupid."

Ivy slapped her face yet again before looking at the bat, "what's the offer on the table?"

"Simple. Go clean. serve your term under house arrest with a law abiding citizen and government watch, give key info for a few cases, and work with me instead of against me. Your child would become the ward of your sponsor while you work with me. No broken bones, no mess, no loss. Alternatively, I can restrain you, I can put you in shackles and I can make you wish you chose the option a. Harley may be pregnant, Ivy, but you aren't." He finished ominously had he took a step in the queen of May's direction.

"Ok, time out!" The pregnant psycho stepped between the bat and mother nature, "the offers nice and all, but I gotta ask, why? I mean you're Batman, you don't ask questions first, you break bones then ask. The fear of all hard working criminals and all that. Why help us?"

"I'm not."

Harley tilted her head in confusion for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, while Ivy just nodded her head.

"But you just-"

"I'm not helping you Harley directly. I'm helping the child you are gestating, a child who is an innocent, a child who will need its mother. A child who will have all my influence holding its mother there to be present. If need be, I will even help Ivy's cause through better methods, such as a friend of mine raising a campaign for the ending of deforestation and alternatives for mechanical fuel and I'm sure with Ivy's knowledge and his influence, Gotham could...go green as it were."

"Ok, what?" Ivy looked somewhat bothered by the offer.

"Loathe as I am to say this, and I do loathe saying this, Harley brings a good point. I break bones with no care for repercussions. I have beaten men near death to try and turn them from crime, to scare them from crime only for them to have no other option than to return. You, Ivy, are in the same boat, hurting your cause more than helping it. You want to help plant life, you want the pollution of mankind to cease so your plants can repopulate. I understand that, but killing people makes them as a population hate your cause. I can offer a different method for you to act through. A way to subtly change the world for plants. People everywhere are already realizing what killing forests is doing to the world, and you, once a foremost leading botanist, now a variant avatar of the energy green like Swamp Thing, can actually speak for the plants. You could work with him to advance the cause. To actually help the green instead of using it to terrorize."

"And what makes you so sure I won't turn against your friend? This sponsor who you seem to think so willing to help me fight for my babies? My plants."

"Simple. We helped a former villain turn against her ways and she's now part of the league." He says simply.

Harley raised her hand, bouncing on the couch seat like a child causing Batman to glare at her

"What?"

"I just want to get this straight. You're not going to fight us, but help us? The fuck makes us so special?"

"Circumstance. It was circumstance that made your first patient the Joker, a circumstance that led you to crime. A circumstance that keeps me from breaking every bone in your body and throwing the two of you back into Arkham."

"What about everyone else, huh? You never tried to help Mistah J-"

"Actually, Harls... he kinda did. I was around then and remember, every time the Joker appeared, the batdick tried to offer a better solution, hell I'm sure many of the scars under that suit of his are from the times he tried to help the clown. If I remember correctly, you once came to me for a plant that was needed to synthesize a cure for the Joker toxin." The bat glowered at the jab at his name before nodding, "and I wouldn't be remiss to say that with your civilian persona sponsoring us for reform, with all the pull you have with the government, we would only be the first of a trial basis of heros sponsoring villains seeking reformation. Though I doubt the blue boy scout could afford to do so as his, you easily could."

The room was silent, Harley in confusion, Thompson in slight amusement and Batman was well...Batman.

"Um...red, you're talking like you know who Batman and supes really are."

"You do too Harley. You've fought him enough these last two years. How many times have we tried something new only for Batman to have a gadget built specifically for that new tactic? And the training. At first I thought it was just a veteran hired by some rich fuck to don a cape and cowl, but then I dug deeper. I sent plants to the records and pulled up several records of a child who had a near crippling case of chiroptophobia, a child that just happened to go see a movie one night before his parents were gunned down in the alley behind said theater by one Joe Chill. The one child in gotham city with the means to build the array of gadgets, the means to travel and learn martial arts from true masters of the art, the one man who just happened to adopt three boys and and suddenly Batman has three different sidekicks, Nightwing, two different Batgirls and two Robins." 

"How long have you known?" Batman cut in before Harley could talk again.

"Couple of years now. The third robin was the nail in the head, though he became robin before you adopted him, before his father was killed. You have a soft spot for children, which actually makes why you're offering to help us go straight makes so much more sense. You donate a lot to children charity cases and when you find out some of those charity cases are scams, you take them down hard. I've been around as poison ivy for a while now, remember? I am still Doctor Pamela Lillian Isley. As for big blue, well he surprisingly does a good job hiding it. Unless you really pay attention. Really pay attention. He doesn't wear a mask because for the alien, his civilian identity is his mask. Actually surprised that Luthor with all his self proclaimed god-like intelligence, hasn't figured it out yet."

"I'm the only one in the room not in the know, aren't i?" Harley chimed in again.

"...."

"Yes"

"Indeed"

Was the immediate response from three different sides of the room, before there was a crash outside, followed by the sound of splintering wood and what sounded like a cat screeching in surprise.

"Doctor Thompson, your device is here." Batman sighed before stating in his gruff autotuned voice, "Kitsune is insistent that he bring it in."

"The fuck is Kitsune?" Harley yelled, immediately curling to cover her stomach protectively.

"This," Batman replied firmly.

The door clicked open and in stepped a man with about average height and a sturdy but lithe build. He wore what looked like a black ops uniform, black combat boots that had short but sharp hard tipped points rising from the toes , baggy cargo pants, a utility belt with various pockets, a flak vest with the symbol of the shuriken dyed onto it over the heart over a slightly baggy black jacket, both unzipped showing a very tight orange shirt with a spiral leaf covering most of the front of his torso, though most of it was covered by the flak vest and jacket and tight claw tipped fingered gloves. The most striking was the mask. A full skull cowl shaped like a maliciously grinning vulpine like skull with a spiral leaf carved between the eyes, which had red lenses set into the orbital socket. The right eye seemed to glow ominously as the figure looked around the room.

"...is Kitsune ." The figure turned and faced the two criminals, before making hand gestures at the bat, "no, Kitsune , they aren't the target. Sending the target to your hud. No, these two were seeking medical aid and just went about it wrong." More hand gestures, "you can smell eucalyptus?" The figure pointed at Harley and Batman turned to look at her.

"Yeah, what? Gonna say something? I'm a criminal so I can't enjoy a breath mint?"

He was already in front of her, the red of the lenses reflecting the surprise in her blue eyes, before she finished talking, "I think I just peed a little." She exclaimed as he seemed to blink across the room to where he was in front of her.

The bat signed, "Kitsune, quit scaring the clown and give the device to Thompkins. Nightwing found something that warrants our attention. And Quinn, Ivy? Really think about this offer, I won't make it again."

"Wait." Ivy said, before looking at Harley for a moment, then at Batman, who turned halfway to look at her.

"One condition and I'll do it." She said, she was a tad hesitant about asking this, but he had more resources and ties that could help her than she did.

"Doctor Jason Woodrue. I want him ruined."

"Who is he?" The Bat asked in the distorted voice.

"He is the man who did this" she gestured to her body, "to me. He experimented on me and I want him to pay."

"I'm not making promises, but we'll see."

"Sure you will." She scoffed. She really had no trust in Batman, but as she turned, she noticed the other person, Kitsune was writing on a pad of paper and narrowed her eyes at the sight. Maybe, just maybe, she could try one more time to trust.

* * *

  
  
  


The government had warily accepted Bruce's proposal, though there was much debate. End result had Harley staying at Wayne manor under the watchful eye of the Bat as well as an implant that immediately released a powerful sedative into her system at the push of a button, which was then given to the Bat. In effect, he became her warden. 

Ivy had the same judgement, though instead was placed under the jurisdiction of Black Orchid, a sentient plant superheroine that worked alongside Batman a few times against Ivy. The supreme court was hesitant against letting Ivy into the care of a plant, regardless of sentience, until The Swamp Thing reminded them he was a spirit residing in a plant and that Ivy couldn't control him, while further pointing out that Orchid and her daughter were avatars of the Green, the very energy of nature itself. They were stronger in their connection to nature than Ivy, thus making them perfect to suppress Ivy's machinations should she decide to renege on the arrangement. 

So Ivy and Harley stayed in the manor's guest house where Naruto and Mirai stayed, with a pair of eyes always on them, (unseen camera's mostly once Wayne had shown Naruto how they worked) or working with their super hero sponsors or in Harley's case, Dr. Thompson and the prenatal coach the doctor brought along, with one of the bat family or an unseen Naruto were never far away.

Naruto honestly didn't know what to make of the pair, but then women usually had that effect on him. He had been oblivious to Hinata's heart, thinking of her more as a sister, naive to Sakura's rejections, and promised a shrine priestess a child not realizing until much later what that meant in detail. Thanks Jiraiya. He had a lot he didn't get about women, though Ino had tried to teach him once. All his power and skills, he was still oblivious to women. He could tell Ivy loved the plants he fostered off Alfred, she would spend time walking among the roses that had flourished under his care, often with Harley walking with her when she wasn't crying or fighting with herself.

They had found records of the human experimentation done on Ivy nearly a decade ago in the FBI records as well as the seized finances of the Isley estate. Under court ruling and pressure from both of the persona of Batman and Bruce Wayne, her deceased report was declared null and the green seductress finally received her inheritance, which she put towards making the Isley Plantlife and Fauna Foundation, helped managed by Bruce who showed her how to set it up and hire staff. Doctor Jason Woodrue, they found, had already been imprisoned, but under a different name: the Floronic Man and his records were updated. When they told Ivy she would have to testify against him in court for the crime against her, she just stared at him. She really hadn't expected them to come through with her set condition, but to find out he got her a victims trial as well as finding the man? It blew her mind.


	3. The sage p1

********

Running, The pure adrenaline and freedom of the exercise brings joy to people's hearts, The exultant pleasure as sweat pours from your pores and soaks into your clothing, this would be what Naruto felt as he ran through the trees at high velocity. Sadly, this was not to be. Instead he felt cold dread, horror, and agony. Branches of the Shinjuu tree spread out quickly, like they were just unraveling, horrid smelling flowers bloomed along each arm sending out lightning fast whip vines that were trying to grab at and snare him, quick enough that he was quite sure they'd rip off whatever they managed to grab.

He'd seen this happen already, twice now. First one was the mizukage, Mei Terumi, a whip like vine went right through her faster than any of them could react and Naruto was still recovering from his first fight with Madara, who somehow became Kaguya, wasn't able to do much more than watch in horror as she was speared through her mouth and her upper torso was lifted up into a flower that closed around her shocked and gurgling form, blood freely pouring down her intestines as they dangled out of the bloom, another vine grabbing her legs. The next was a kumo nin, C. While everyone had been stunned by the Mizukage's surprise bisection, vines had creeped around his ankles and with a quick snap he was in the air screaming as he was pulled apart like a wishbone at his legs. He was still screaming as the vines pulled him into a flower.

Move! Kurama's shout broke him from his thoughts, and he was not one to question Kurama, Naruto juked quickly to his left and jumped away, vines snapping where he had just been running.

On your left!

Naruto twisted in the air, barely dodging the vine that snapped up a screaming kirigakure nin below him.

Naruto, move it! Hurry!

Applying chakra, he ran, wind forming a barrier around his form, yet it still wasn't fast enough, he needed more speed! Tapping into Kurama's reserves, his body lighting up in a blinding yellow light, the barrier broke with a loud KRAKAKAKOOM!  **(AN)**

The vines were still following but now he had room to think and move, to breathe. He could grieve later, first survivors. With a thought, he reached out, grabbing the tendrils of chakra that pointed to the marks his father had made before he died, the kunai he had handed out to each of his closest allies and friends and he was gone in a flash, but he was too late.

Many of his friends never even had a chance as he flashed outside of the gruesome blossoms. He could see the fluids digesting their bodies, their gurgles, the death rattles, the struggles, the screams and beatings on the flower walls. He tried everything he had to break open the flowers, from kunai to jutsu but none of it was enough! The plants absorbed the chakra, the kunai snapped from the pressure he exerted trying to cut into the petals, his skin broke with every slam of his fist! And these victims were the luckier ones.

He watched as vines speared through shinobi left and right, their faces drawn in agony as their life force was drained into the vines leaving withered corpses behind. Some still fought, but only one succeeded in getting away from this, Kurotsuchi the Tsuchikage's granddaughter. She had spewed hot magma on the vines just before it speared her in the thigh just outside of the femur. Before it had drained her completely, the lava burned through the plant and freed her.

Naruto quickly flashed to the kunai on her belt and moved. She didn't even weekly register his presence, he couldn't feel her chakra signature, but he could hear her breath, slow and ragged as it were, she was crying.

Just not in her voice.

* * *

Jolting awake from his nightmares, his first reaction was wrapping his hand around the kunai he kept under his pillow before the sense of sound registered to his brain. Crying. Not high pitched like that of a child, but deeper, like that of a grown adult. Pitch registered female. Harley or Ivy? He didn't know either well enough to truly say.

As Naruto crept along out of his room and along the hall, he quickly did a check on Mirai. He saw Nightwing slumped in a chair, it had been his shift to watch the clown, a slender vine with a glowing red flower near his head and went into fight mode, if Ivy was here, that meant Batgirl was asleep too or worse. Palming a kunai, he slowly and quietly walked up the wall and peeked through the door from the top. Gently and slowly as possible, he pushed the door open to reveal a very pregnant Harley sitting on the bed, crying on Poison Ivy's shoulder.

"Shh Harls, easy. He can't hurt you here, shhh." The mistress of plants whispered quietly, as she stroked Harley's hair.

"You don't undahstand Red, he'll know. He'll know and he'll find us and there is no one who can stop him, he's gonna come here and kill everyone and then kill my baby."

Naruto paused for a moment, not really knowing who she was talking about. With a sigh, he dropped down behind Ivy and tapped her on the shoulder not occupied by a hormonal crazy crownette. Which made the amber redhead scream. Which made the clownette scream. Which made Naruto facepalm.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YOUR WORSE THAT BATMAN! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! CHRIST, DOES ANYONE HERE NOT MAKE NOISE? DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND MMMPH!" A now aggravated Ivy screamed before a scarred calloused hand covered her mouth. With a glave the green woman held up three fingers, slowly dropping one to give the message which Naruto understood, before placing one of his fingers on his lips and looking up and then back down at the two former villains and removing his hand from her mouth.

"And just, exactly, are you, masky?" Harley asked quietly, glaring heatedly at the shinobi who quickly gestured with his hands, "is...is he signing? Do you know sign, red?"

"He says to calm down, he was only trying to figure out why I knocked Nightwing out. And I did that because I wanted privacy with Harley, which I no longer have because of you. Who we still don't know the name of."

The blonde, the crazy one that wasn't pregnant quickly did more hand gestures before pulling up his sleeve displaying an intricate tattoo. With a roll of his eye, he placed a lightly glowing finger on the mark and with a practiced motion and caught the notepad and pen that appeared with a puff of displaced air.

"What the fuck?" Harley's jaw was hanging open, Ivy just raised her eyebrow, "ok, so you're some sort of magician, big whoop. We got magic users by the dozen."

Naruto raised the non-scarred eyebrow and just stares at Ivy before showing her what he wrote

_ My name is Naruto. What is magic? _

"Wow, ok, you're kidding…..right?"

"Hold up! Naruto? Like the fish cake?" Interjected the crownette of Gotham.

To which both Ivy and Naruto facepalmed

"...ignoring Harley for the moment, you do know you entered a room with two near naked women, right? It's a bit rude to not announce yourself so we could cover up."

"Yeah, what she said!"

"Harls?" Ivy raised an eyebrow, again, as she turned to look at her pregnant friend.

"Ugh, fiine." She groaned before laying back on her bed, her breast swaying from the motion, catching and holding Naruto's attention for a moment.

This did not go unnoticed, as two slender green fingers smelling of earth and foliage were snapped under his nose, "Little less perv, magic man."

Naruto scowled, he wasn't a perv, he was the bane of pervs.

"Well, you gonna say something? Who is Naruto? Why are you in the manor?"

He blinks, and quickly signed

"Head of security? Why would he need…. oh. Oooh! Your Kitsune aren't you?"

Naruto deadpanned, this woman was scary smart. Hot as hell, but damned scary smart. He chose to ignore her question, scratching at the scar tissue that itched under the fabric that hid his throat scarring before signing again.

"Is Harley ok? No, not really. She's having something of a lucid moment due to her hormones and is scared her clown baby daddy is gonna come through those doors and grab her."

Naruto nodded his head with an "ah" like face, before noticing a small green tendril near the right of his head. In a microsecond, there were three Naruto's, one holding the vine, the second with a kunai to Ivy's throat and the third holding a kunai above Harley's now wide open eye as she gulped. Glaring at Ivy, who was suddenly wide eyed and very fascinated with her reflection, he very gently wrapped the vine into itself and coiled it around the pot it was creeping from. After giving it some water from the bathroom sink, he stepped back in front of the two on the bed and glared harder at Ivy, his form shaking minutely.

Ivy slow turned her hands over in surrender, trying to lean her neck away from the sharp gardening tool pressing into her jugular with a steadiness that would have a surgeon envious.

"Ok. I only wanted to see your face, sorry. Um, can he relax now? He's kinda cutting into me."

"Ivy? Lights are on but nobody's home. I think you triggered some sort of PTSD of his."

"What kind of PTSD involves pla- ok nevermind. Did I do this to him?"

There was a knock at the door, "Ahem ladies, if you'd be so kind as to cover yourselfs, I might be of some assistance. Though, I would thank you not to do to me what you did to Nightwing. I do hope he and Batgirl will recover."

Ivy grabbed one of the long sleepwear shirts from a drawer and helped Harley into it before throwing hers back on and letting it settle back down to her knees.

As soon as the shirt settled, the english gentleman Bruce introduced as Alfred, stepped into the room. Straight-backed and proper, he looked like the textbook definition of fancy in his butler's walked over to the blonde security guard and pulled something out of his jacket pocket, holding it under Naruto's nose, and with a quick and loud snap, the pungent smell of ammonia filled the room. Ivy had to wonder how he knew to be there.

Naruto gagged turned his head away and ripped down his face mask, really just a thin neck warmer he pulled up over his nose to hide the scars somewhat, (Couldn't really hide the missing ear though,) and exposed the left side of his face to the girls, doing exactly what the former eco terrorist was trying to do when this started. With a quick step back, Alfred was by the door with an almost bored look on his face, as if it wasn't the first time he'd seen this, his arm cocked and held against his stomach.

Once Naruto finished gagging, he gave Alfred a look of gratitude from the corner of his eye, careful to keep the scarred side of his face hidden as he fixed his mask back into place. Once done, he gave Ivy a look that would freeze even the lowest pits of hell and in his hoarse wispy voice he declared angrily, "Don't…...do… again." And with that he stormed out of the room, leaving a bewildered pair of women and a serene butler.

With a quick pop, he slapped the back of Nightwing's head, throwing the boy into combat mode as he was quickly on his feet with his escrima batons out and on their taser setting. Seeing there was no danger, he turned and watched Naruto stalk out of the guesthouse and into the yard.

"What just happened?"

Back in the room, the two ladies were watching the butler as he walked around the room, straightening this and that; dusting here, polishing there.

After a few moments, he stopped and turned to the women watching him.

"Pardon my silence, I assure you, I was merely gathering my thoughts into words. Miss Isley, Master Bruce informed me that you used the same method master Drake did to discover our family's hobby? So you were easily able to deduce who Mr. Uzumaki is past timing as, as he gets acclimated to our world. Good, that does make things much easier. Tell me ladies, do you know what the dimensional wall is?"

Ivy slowly nods her head while Harley shook hers.

"Please, miss Isley, explain what you know."

"Um, this is theoretical since no one has been able to study it, but there is a barrier placed between each multiverse that vibrates at a high frequency. It's theorized that the reasons multiverses don't collide is due to it essentially destroying whatever touches it. I was trying to find exotic plants to bring so I could reforest the park when I found out about the study."

"Miss Isley, it's no longer a theory but a proven fact. Mister Uzumaki is from the other side of it, from a completely different multiverse. His world experienced an omega level category 9 event and the weapon of choice? A rather large tree with very articulate feelers.

This tree decimated most of his race before they were able to destroy it. Its roots sucked the very life force from the planet, leaving it dying and barren, unable to produce life. This is just the cliff note version mr. Uzumaki entrusted me with, with the villain, the omega level threat category 9 I mentioned, named Kaguya feeding, as a vampyr, off the life force her monstrosity was sending to her. Plants, animals, people, the very planet itself, none was safe or sacred as none mattered to her as she saw it all as shells withholding what she believed was hers: the energy of their life.

Mr. Uzumaki comes from a race Bruce has dubbed Shinobi as that was their lifestyle, they ate, drank, and lived the life of warriors that hid in the shadows. A rather barbaric people who fought long wars amongst themselves over who got the most table scraps, Mr. Uzumaki's words, not mine, until this Kaguya appeared. Under one banner his entire race fought against her. An entire race that was able to weaponize and utilize their very internal energy to do extraordinary things, and yet of this entire race, only 16 survived the battle. The number slowly began to dwindle as realization started kicking in that they now inhabit a slowly cooling corpse of a world, They had lost hope. All but one. This one person devised a way to save two of their kind at the expense of the remainder of their race. He informed the others before tricking Mr. Uzumaki to lower his guard, paralyzing him and knocking him unconscious and sending him and the survivor of their children along with all their surviving knowledge through the dimensional wall.

Now, with the story done, some more elaboration is needed, Mr. Uzumaki was their most powerful fighter, temporarily capable of reaching a high Epsilon threat level and with another fighter was able to imprison Kaguya, but during the fight, the monster was able to get a vine on him and used her power of shifting around their reality to shift them close to the wall separating our two multiverses. From what Mr. Uzumaki describes, it was agony beyond agony as his face was held against the barrier as the monster gleefully held his head in place, scolding him as if he were a child and she, his mother. His healing factor fought hard to keep him alive and she just shifted back to the warzone as if he were nothing. Floating in the void between the universes. A speck in the infinite cosmos. By the time he was close to dying of suffocation, his healing factor, slowed by the vast amount of damage, had finished healing his head leaving a very scarred visage"

BOOM!

The two jumped as the floor shook beneath them.

"Oh dear, it seems Mr. Uzumaki is in quite the mood. As I was saying, with little time to spare, he used one of his father's techniques to move back to his world as fast as possible, but it was already too late. An entire race, an entire culture, had been devastated, only him and 20 people of his kind remained and 4 were dying, one the only other warrior capable of fighting at his level. So he tricked her. He lured her into a trap and sprung it, the other warrior using all his power and might to lock Kaguya away in a pocket dimension neither could escape from as it existed only so long as he lived and he was at death's door knocking.

According to Mr. Uzumaki , when this warrior passed, the dimension should have collapsed completely on her and with nothing, no energy to feed from, she was powerless. Her tree was obliterated, her child, some sort of black liquid thing named Zetsu evaporated with no chance of recovery and the cadmean victory was complete. They had won, but the cost was so great, they had also lost. Now tell me, Miss Isley, what would you be feeling should you be confronted by something that resembles the very thing that kept you from saving your planet? Your home? Personally I would find myself rather beyond peeved at this, and you Miss Quinzel?"

"...He was gentle. Why was he gentle with my baby after all that? How, why didn't he shred my plant if it reminded him of that?" For once, in all her life, her logic could not understand; she was utterly and completely dumbfounded. Harley wasn't much better, an event of that scale was more than enough to drive a person to madness, yet he tried being sociable and friendly….ish. not so much after the vine.

Before she could finish her thoughts a partially geared up Batman was standing in the doorway and answered Ivy for Alfred, "He was gentle, Ivy, for a few reasons: first, he is a sage, capable of drawing from nature into himself and internally mixing the energy with his own. Second: he actually loves plants as with the first reason, his being a sage allows him to connect with nature in a way few humans are able to. We're still working on figuring out what exactly this connection is. He actually quite enjoys gardening and has taken over working my gardens from Alfred. Finally, Three: you cared about the plant. As I have said, he's a sage, he could feel your connection to nature and the love you feel to your plants. Alfred, I have a very pissed Kitsune gearing up, and need to make sure he doesn't act out too rashly. Please tend to Mirai, I'm afraid Naruto in his anger and self hatred may have caused her to wake. Some of your famous white chocolate red velvet cookies and some warm milk perhaps?"

"Of course, sir. Should I leave anything out for you when you return?"

Bruce stopped for a moment, before setting his cowl on his head and letting the mechanisms fix it into place, the quiet whirring of small motors sounding as he thought.

"Maybe some of Dad's whiskey. I'm sure you remember the brand. I'm sure we still have a few bottles aging." His voice coming out of the voice modulator he had installed recently.

"Very good, sir. Would our guests be joining our midnight rendezvous to the kitchen? We could use a…..ahem, motherly touch" Alfred said, looking pointedly at Harley.

"Wait woah, hold on! I don't know nuthin bout being a mother! How am I supposed to know how to comfort a kid?" She exclaimed loudly throwing her arms in front of her in an x.

"Miss Quinzel, I believe when it comes to learning, there is no better teacher than experience and as the old saying goes, no time like the present. Try to make her laugh, or at least smile, and know you aren't alone in this endeavor, she's quite fond of-" a loud crash at the doorway as it swung open to reveal a heavily breathing Batgirl, Followed closely by Barbara Gordon in her chair and Nightwing peeking around the corner of the doorframe.

"Miss Brown, I believe I have informed you against running in the halls. Goodness, what have you broken this time?"

"But...I wah?" She wisely said, making Barbara just facepalmed, backed out and looked at Alfred,

"I got Mirai down to the manor kitchen as Bruce said to do, Tim's with her right now. Naruto decided to replant a few trees earlier and woke her up."

"Oh dear me. Hopefully he cleans up his mess in the morning, if Master Bruce is able to sufficiently calm him down."

Nightwing left after receiving an urgent call from Starfire and Barbara left to man the JL operations as Oracle, leaving Alfred, Harley, Ivy, and Batgirl walking to the manor's main kitchen. Tim, a black haired teenager roughly 5 foot with a thin lithe but muscular form, was there in his blue pajamas, holding a crying 5 year old girl wearing a sleep dress, and making small shushing sounds as he rocked her as they entered. After sending a glare at the culprit of the entire episode, he looked at Alfred with an eyebrow raised, his face asking the question.

What was going on?

"Master Bruce and Mr. Uzumaki have gone on a quick venting trip in town, Master Drake, His CPTSD had been triggered by a person ignorant of his issues. I'm sure Miss Isley regrets terribly in her actions," the sophisticated gentleman turned to look at Ivy with a cold and withering glance that screamed pain if she disagreed. It was at this moment Ivy discovered she was more scared of The Bat's butler than of the bat himself and she quickly ducked her head in agreement.

The little girl poked her head up, her eyes swollen from both sleep and tears, though her vibrant red pupils were easily visible which caught Harley's eye. As she looked over the young, spiky brown haired child, she could see tense muscles, coiled like a cat ready to pounce, though not as refined or lithe as one, but the signs pointed to her receiving some form of training. She saw the beginnings of calluses on her fingers, signifying she wasn't pampered like some pretty princess in a palace. This child was learning to be a fighter, That or she was a tomboy, either way, Harley almost sighed with relief, she hated spoiled princesses. Waddling up to the table, and easing into one of the chairs, she pulled a paper notebook over to her and started humming, tearing a blank page out slowly folding and creasing the paper into a shape. With a giggle, she held up a small origami animal where the child could see and slowly had it prancing up a confused Tim's arm and sitting it on his shoulder where the girl could reach it and returned to the pad for another sheet. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as the girl picked up the origami in curiosity and small wonder as an amused butler bustled around the kitchen whipping up cookie dough.

Standing beside Batgirl, Ivy, however, just watched on as her best (only) friend showed a side of her that Ivy never knew existed. She knew Harley studied psychology, but her first case had been the Joker who drove her mad. It also didn't help that Ivy had been her second case, but she liked to think she was better than that psychopath. Sure she got pissed at global ecological issues, but she wasn't a narcissistic asshole of a sociopath. Technically, she wasn't really insane, they just had no better place to put her than Arkham. With the crazies. Yeah, Harley was a breath of fresh air back then.

Ivy firmly believed that her presence stalled Harley's descent into madness enough that she wasn't as bonkers as her…..ew. good lord, she's carrying that man's baby.

Batgirl leaned over, breaking Ivy from her terrifying realizations,

"Um...did you know Harley was good with children?" The former tag along turned side-kick whispered

"Nope. Didn't even know she knew origami." She replied in a dry voice.

Tim jerked up a bit, his hand going to his earpiece (had that always been there?) before setting the child down in his chair and giving a meaningful look at batgirl before racing out of the room. Moments later, there was a loud clicking sound and then the only sound was Alfred pittering around.

Batgirl walked over to the girl and whispered into her ear and leaving the room as well, leaving the three females and one butler and the smell of cookies baking in the oven. The butler just looked up, hummed and set back to work.

"Any idea what that was about?" Ivy looked at Harley, who was idly folding more origami.

"Not really. The boy got a call and jetted like his pants were on fire. Maybe he forgot to pick up flowers for batgirl..."

Ivy stilled for a moment, feeling the pull of nature as she looked up and saw a vision of a wounded Naruto. She saw him and it felt as though he was looking directly into her soul and the Green in her body sang. The Sage! Just as quickly however, it was over, bringing her back to reality.

"...I don't have super hearing. Now, what's your name, little one?" She asked the girl sitting shyly in her chair, looking at Ivy with big round wide eyes as the emerald queen sat down. Glancing at Harley, she hid further into her knees.

"Nawuto says not to tawk to strangers" she quietly mumbled, her big crimson eyes peering over her knees at Harley with curiosity.

"Naruto must be really smart. But what about Alfred? Is he a stranger?"

The child shook her head in the negative.

"Well, Mr Alfred must be big and strong if Naruto trusts him enough to leave you with us strangers. My name is Harleen, but I like being called Harley better. This here is my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Her name is Pamela, but we call her Ivy or Red."

"Harley? What are you doing?"

"Red, I have no idea."

With a click, a platter of red cookies with white chips was set in front of them, followed by 3 glasses of milk. The aroma coming off the plate hinted of vanilla, chocolate and a touch of cinnamon, making three girl's mouths water. Harley picked one and gave it a test nibble and visibly melted in delight as the flavor of red velvet exploded in her mouth. She wasn't even paying attention as she swallowed the last bite of the cookie.

Static sounded from the intercom on the kitchen island, interrupting her bliss.

"Hey uh, Alfred? Can you come down to the um… cave? We could use your medical expertise."

"Very well, Miss Brown. Should I ring up Mrs Thompson?"

A pause, "Bruce says yes. Call Dr. Thompson. It's pretty bad."

"And what of Mirai and our guests?"

"Oh shit! Um… Batman says bring Ivy. Harley is to watch the rugrat."

"Oh do be mindful of your language on the intercom system, master Drake. I would hate to see Naruto upset because his ward learned to speak in Spicy French. I shall call Dr. Thompkins and be down post haste." He depressed the talk button on the intercom and walked over to the table, "Miss Isley, it appears I must let you further into our secret due to an apparent emergency. I will be calling the good doctor post haste and then we shall be descending. I don't believe I need to warn you to look but don't touch, do I?

Ivy shook her head, how is a simple butler more frightening than the Bat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note number 1, KRAKAKAKOOM  
> yes, I am aware the sound of the sound barrier breaking is a sonic boom, but using this sounds effect just felt…..right.
> 
> An 2  
> I love Alfred as a character.


	4. Sage pt 2

Drip.

Drip.

The sound of droplets hitting a pool of liquid was the first thing he heard as his consciousness returned. Then came the pain of his body, coursing through from the tips of his toes to the top of his head, throbbing and pulsing from where his tibia had broken and what felt like a red hot ball of magma in the side of his lower abdomen. He tried to shift, but that made the pain in his side flare up worse, making him whimper slightly.

The debris seemed to have formed a sort of pocket around him, blocking light and fresh air yet still not close enough to crush him. He felt around, the ceiling of the pocket was about a foot up from the surface though it did shift a bit when he pushed on it, it caused the pain in his side flare up like the side, bringing tears to his eyes. He tried to move his feet but this was made clear to be immediately impossible as there was weight pressing down on them holding them in place. He couldn't move.

Good.

Allowing his mind to calm, he let himself sink into his inner being and forced calm into the storm of his inner self. The panic and fear subsided leaving a tranquility behind. Reaching out to the world, he could feel nature's loving caress creep toward him in curiosity, but this was different. Instead of the turquoise peace he always felt doing this, instead it was a wild red and a serene green answering him and entwined with his being followed by an energetic white and an indescribable energy that flowed like water. This world's nature was separated into their own beings he realized. Touching the white, he felt the wind, with the force of a hurricane blowing through him, taking his breath away, the green gave him a feeling of calm and timelessness, the clear filling him with energy like a rushing tsunami, and the red like a raging bull crashed through him, wild and unstoppable, leaving him hungry for more. This was not the natural energy he was familiar with. Each time he touched one of the different colors, it felt as if something was observing him, watching him then in a collaborative voice he heard one word

**CHOOSE**

the energies swirled around him patiently, pulsing as if in anticipation.

**CHOOSE**

choose what? Was the aspects of this world's nature trying to make him choose one over the other? He couldn't do that, a sage took all of nature into himself, not picking aspects. He made his decision and opened himself to it. All around the world, select people stopped what they were doing and looked to the sky and he saw them as Nature welcomed him in song. One word reverberated through the world:

**SAGE!**

He saw Poison Ivy sitting with Harley and Mirai, a figure covered in plants and vines he'd only seen in video referred to as Swamp-thing in a swamp, a man in a red shirt with a lantern on it holding hands with a being made up of winds, a woman in a waitress outfit listening to a host as he talks plans with another person, he saw them all and they saw him. The rebirth of a sage, baptized in the energies of nature, welcomed by their avatars, declared by the world.

Nature sang as one in a crescendo, a harmony reverberated through his being, filling him, completing him as he completed it. The wild of red, the power of white, the peace of the clear, and the unstoppable timelessness and verdant growth of the green. There was something else as well, an energy he could feel but refused to reach to him, a dark energy that felt of decay and death, it rejected him completely and ignored all attempts of his to coax it out.

Outside of his mind, markings began to form along his body, the scarring on the side of his head and neck receded away from his throat, the milky white of his right eye cleared into a pale oceanic blue before becoming a prismatic swirl of the four colors as lines appeared from the corners and following down his face, merging into one at his cheek. His left eye took on a more vibrant transformation, the lines coming from it glowing with power and energy, the colors swirled in a passionate dance in his pupil, mixing and twirling. The air around him freshened and calmed, completely peaceful and still in the presence of the Sage.

  
  


* * *

Across the world, hidden in a cave on the Himalayas, an inky black creature snapped its eyes open. A hideous grin spread upon its face as it began to cackle loudly with deranged madness. It knew this presence, this time, he would beat it and then have it's revenge.

* * *

Opening his temporarily prismatic eyes, he could feel the change in his body, the old strength, the familiar senses but there were several new things as well. Though pitch black, he could see, though not conventionally, through his eyes. He could feel the air and see through it and with it. He saw the rebar stuck into and through his side bending from the force of the weight of the rubble pressing down on it, he saw the father doing his best and struggling to hold up a splintering wooden door with rubble pressing harshly against it so that his daughter wasn't crushed as she held tight to her mother and small dog. He saw the dead, lying with their eyes open unsealing, the whimpering of the dying. He saw his old world, smelled the smoke and fire, heard the anguished dying screams of prayer that some god would save them. He saw all of this and it reached a crescendo.

He was pissed and so was Nature.

Pushing hard on the slab above him, he made clearance and threw a hard punch that knocked the slab into the air as it shattered into smaller pieces that fell back to earth, the rubble on top of it shifting easily to give way. Pulling his legs free with quick jerks, he knew he had to work as fast as he could since he didn't know how long nature's blessing would stay with him. Ignoring the pain in his leg since it was already healing, he saw with the air again, shifting, lifting and pushing debris out of the way as he worked towards the lives still trapped. One by one, he pulled bodies and the wounded from the rubble. He had found the family trapped in the closet. Found the door snapped in half from the weight and a weakly sobbing girl near unconsciousness. Her father and mother hadn't made it, he hadn't been fast enough. He kept working, shifting and pushing. Until he reached the foundation of the building, yet he kept working, frantically trying to search for more of the living, nature's blessing left him yet he kept working. His fingers were bleeding as he dug through the rubble, glass cut into his palm, blood dripped down the bar still in his side, and yet he kept digging. Faster, faster! **FASTER**! A hand on his shoulder, he shrugs it off, faster, faster! A firm hand grabs his arm and pulls him away from the rubble, he tries to resist but he's weak. He can't stop, can't stop

SLAM

His head snaps to the side as a hard right hook slams into his jaw, clearing his head. Looking up, he sees Batman holding him up by his arm, looking at him with a stone face, but in his eyes there was sympathy.

He looked around him as city workers and paramedics scrambled on the scene, the police talking to witnesses, children crying over their parents and loved ones and vice versa. The anger Naruto felt was back. One man did this. One lone man did this and because Naruto wasn't fast enough, people suffered. With a loud squelch, he pulled the rebar from his stomach and tossed it aside. Drawing on nature again, he felt the joy nature felt as it embraced it's sage and saw with the air again, looking for the one responsible, looking for the one who just killed innocent people all for the so called greater good. He found him, saw him holding the dead man switch close to his chest, he could feel the man's sweat.

He could feel nature rejuvenating him, healing him faster than he normally does. He could feel nature's cold fury at this needless loss of life.

Pulling his arm free of Batman's grasp, he angled his body to the direction of the culprit and with a mighty push, jumped. Nature boosting his strength, leaving small craters where his feet had been with flowers and grass growing at an accelerated rate where he once stood.

* * *

Michael Burnette had been a simple office attorney at city hall. He answered the phone, worked through the files, and generally enjoyed his job. Until he learned too much, saw the wrong paper, read into the wrong file. Turns out the mayor, the man he played golf with, wasn't so clean as he believed. His daughter was kidnapped on her way home from school and vanished without a trace, his wife raped and killed in their kitchen, their newborn son strangled by his own intestines and left in the oven. He called the cops but they just laughed at his accusations and left.

Months passed, He did the digging, he knew some people in that line of work. He found his twelve year old daughter on the mayor's yacht, cuffed to his bed and footboard, dead from an overdose. He brought the evidence to the police and spent the night in a jail cell with a broken arm and three ribs.

The law was owned by the mayor and wouldn't help him, so he'd help himself. Thanks to some military veteran buddies of his he got a hold of some C4 and from a friend in electrical engineering, timers and a pressure switch. He found others like him, people who had been used by the mayor then tossed aside when they learned too much, had them set up the explosives in separate buildings scheduled for demolition. He knew he wouldn't survive this fight but by doing this, people would take. People would hear his voice. No matter how hard they tried to cover this up.

He had taken cover from vantage points so snipers couldn't shoot him, lifted the Mayor's daughter on the way from school to the mayor's hotel, fitted her with explosives linked to the switch in his boot unlike with her friends, some girl from the neighborhood bakery, a child model son of some fashion designer, and some wannabe reporter with glasses that wouldn't shut up. If the pressure from his hand left the grip, these kids and himself would go boom. The bricks he stuck to all supporting beams would go boom, bringing the building of false justice down around him. Everyone would be dead, or so he let them believe, and the next day a time based email would be sent out to everyone registered in Gotham with every scrap of documented evidence he had built up against the mayor and his lackeys, fingering the police captain who raped his wife before killing her and his son, the mayor's secretary who trades in drugs for his hobbies so long as she can occasionally join in and the court judge who stacks the jury on any case he's bribed to observe. There were so many other names and they all were listed in his evidence and in his email. All it needed was one voice. The secondary kids would be fine, their explosives were fake.

This had been his plan until a pissed off man wearing dark torn clothing crashed through the ceiling and landed in front of him. With a quick motion, the deadman switch had been relieved off of him and he was held by his throat and slammed against a column. The man multiplied and freed the hostages, never once removing his powerful, furious, multicolored eyes away from him, the rage in them made a cold spike stab through his spine as the slow drip of the blood leaving the man's black ops bdu jacket to the floor echoing around the room. The smell of copper dust and sweat was strong around him.

Three of the kids managed to get out of the building, but he had locked the fourth one, his VIP with the real bomb, in the file storage. Soon as this clown releases him, he'd release the real dead man switch under his toes and the mayor will feel the same thing when Michael found his daughter dead on the yacht. Yes, his VIP was hidden and he still had the switch. All he had to do was let the events happen. They kill him, she dies, they arrest him, she dies. Either way, the files are uploaded, the mayor gets ruined and he has his revenge.

He smirked internally when Batman swooped in, the other masked person handing him the switch and pointing at the bombs. Then like a freight train hit him, all the air left his lungs.

"Kitsune. Beating him won't bring back the lives he took"

The hell? Lives? What lives? He just blew up abandoned buildings, only causing property damage to buildings set up for demolition and even then, the bombs were planted so the buildings would fall in. Wait, is that how this Kitsune guy got hurt?

The other mask stiffened and listened, cocking his head to the side and then it was like the world held its breath for a moment then exhaled and an unseen weight fell on Michael that screamed the presence of an apex predator, the Alpha wolf, the Lion, the North American brown bear. Then he saw it, the vision of a massive grinning fox with nine tails unfurling and waving behind it. The mask slowly turned his head and the left eye glowed behind his mask as it stared down at him in judgement. Then, in a blink, the presence was gone, the mask was gone, just a fluttering piece of paper slid down in gravity's embrace where he'd been standing.

Michael shivered in fear from what he felt, it was as if the monster was just waiting to rip him to pieces and it was just looking for the right reason. Yes, that word fits him perfectly. Monster. This man, this predator, this...this demon was a monster! He released the pressure on the switch in his boot and felt the earth shake as the basement vault was blown up and the mayor's daughter, Michael's VIP, was evaporated into little more than a smear. Cops rushed in as Batman yelled at the bomber before rushing towards the blast site. His arms were harshly pulled behind him and handcuffed, but it was when he saw Batman carrying a silhouette wrapped in his cape, that he knew he succeeded. His revenge was complete.

-Present time-

The cave was in a flurry, bats were screaming and flying around, Nightwing was hurrying to the ramp with a gurney, Robin was getting iv bags prepared and Batgirl was assembling the medical equipment. When Batman said there was a code 2 of the city hall bombing, they rushed into action to prepare. Code 2 meant team casualty, meaning they were to be rushed to the cave and then trusted doctors called in. The only one missing was Kitsune, speaking volumes as to who the code 2 was. 

When Batman arrived, the entire passenger side slid out from the main frame of the batmobile and opened up like a clam revealing a burnt and bloody form laying on it's stomach in ragged and torn clothing in the laid back seat. The only marker of identification was, sadly, the facial scars on his right side.

Nightwing and Batman quickly got to work, lifting Kitsune by the cape Batman had put under him and lifting him onto the gurney and carting him into the med bay where Batgirl was waiting, the med tools at the ready. Cutting the fabric away the burn wounds with reinforced medical scissors and gently and carefully removing the fabric in thin strips, any material that stuck to the skin got cut around and left there for Doctor Thompkins or Alfred to remove.

The most horrifying part of all the damage was the very visible spine between his shoulder blades. The flesh looked cooked away as if by a flamethrower. Making the younger three ask one question:

How was he still alive?

Robin hurriedly jumped on the intercom and called down Alfred and relayed questions to Batman, who was already working Kitsune's mask off. Alfred was all business as he came into the med bay, donning the face mask and medical gown before turning and yelling at Ivy, who was staring in a dumbfounded state, to join him. Sure, she's killed people, sure she's seen death, her own loving father tried to stab her when she saw him fucking the maid, but this, this was weird. Instead of killing, she was saving someone.

"Miss Isley, when I ask for something, I need you to quickly hand it to me, we need to get these burns cleaned and bandaged before they get infected. The good doctor should be the one to handle the major burn on his back when she gets here. Master Bruce, does he have any healing factor we need to be aware of?"

"Yes. I've given it a scale 4." Bruce said as he disengaged his cowl. As he removes the infamous piece of armor he runs the sweat off his face with a towel, grimacing as he does so, the explosion had burned the exposed skin enough to singe the top most layer of skin, making the area sensitive.

"I hit him in the orbital socket with roughly a half pound of torque, enough to easily bruise and incapacitate, but not knock unconscious and within 5 minutes, his face returned to complete smooth skin, no bruising at all."

"Thank you, sir. That gives me a rough estimate of which burn is priority. Miss Brown, could you please take notes, we will need them on hand when Doctor Thompkins arrives."

Batgirl quickly left and returned with a clipboard and began writing cliffsnotes everything mentioned and stood waiting for more intel.

"If you're ready Miss Brown, I am using an iodopovidone cleanse to rub the minor burns, major being the burn to the spinal column. Healing factor already shows signs of attempted regeneration, but cooked flesh shows impediment, recommended debridement to allow regeneration to process completely, should the doctor agree this will be pursued. There seems to be an unknown red energy emanating from the wound, believed to be part of regeneration, I have coated the area around the burn as well as the blisters with an iodopovidone aloe mixture hoping to speed the process along. Subject remains unconscious and is unknown when he shall awaken due to assumed factor 4 healing. The red energy appears to be attempting to eat away the burnt flesh, similar to that of an acid.

I have begun an iv drip as I have been informed the subject lost roughly 2 pints. Blood type does not match any database and may need synthesizing, as it is an unknown factor of how the HF will react to human blood."

Ten minutes into the triage, Doctor Thompkins stepped out of the elevator and walked with haste to the gurney. Taking the clipboard from Stephanie, who had removed her cowl by this point with help from Tim, she read over the notes with a practiced eye before sighing. "Bruce, why do I let you get me into these messes? Don't answer. Have you started synthesizing blood? Judging by the pallor of the skin, I'm assuming, and I do mean assuming, as this is by all means an alien lifeform, he has lost about two to two and a half pints and he is at risk of entering shock. I'm surprised he hasn't already done so, though this could be a physiological difference of his, or due to his healing factor. Call the flash and tell him to bring his partner, we need speed if we are going to debride the burn to his spine before his healing factor heals it improperly. I give it maybe ten minutes before it heals and we need speed."

Bruce just pressed a button. Within half a second the new kid flash and within two seconds, the scarlet speeder was there, already reading the cliff notes.

"Neurotic scrub debridement or cutting away?" He quickly asked, with Kid flash already looking over the wound as it healed.

"Cut away. We have no way of knowing how his nature would react to a scrub. Nine minutes."

KF scoffed, "in nine minutes I read the entire san Francisco library and fashioned a fully aerodynamic friction resistant suit. We got this, Doc."

Leslie Thompkins just pursed her lips as the speedsters blurred and vanished from the naked eye. The only signs that they were there at all were the scalpels and scissors moving and wiggling on the tray as lumps and scrapings of burnt flesh was placed on it. A few minutes later, the wound was completely glowing red and they watched as it bubbled and began knitting itself together leaving smooth skin exactly 7 minutes later. Batman took the cut away dead skin and quickly tossed it into the incinerator he uses to get rid of confidential information.

"So uh...who is he? Some criminal you need to interrogate? Wait, half his face is scarred, is this two-face? I thought he'd be older. Ooh the batmobile! And the bat-wing? Hi Tim!" The fastest kid alive quickly asked, breaking the silence.

Flash rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "sorry Bruce. He gets excited and doesn't quite know how to slow down well enough. We've tried teaching him but well, this is all the progress we've had so far. Hoping Vic's and starfire's invitation might help there."

The doctor was timing his pulse and breathing, watching the red angry rise up again to envelop each burn before absorbing back into the skin. She watched his shin correct itself with a wet pop which was her next cause of concern, the swelling and bruising quickly retreating into the muscle. The recesses left by the broken ribs slowly pushed back outwards with a sicking wet grinding sound.

"Bruce, is this healing factor a thing of all of his species?" She looked over at the Bat, who had moved to his supercomputer to run chemical analysis on Naruto's blood. He stopped typing for a moment before turning to respond, "No. There are two remaining of his kind, refugees that arrived together, himself and a young girl he has claimed to be the granddaughter of one of his village leaders. She has shown some affinity for the things he does but as most of his powers come from training and experience in utilization of the energy in their bodies that they refer to as chakra, she is incapable of producing the same results and actions as he."

"I'd like a blood sample from both of them, just in case of emergency. If we are able to synthesize their blood types, then if something like this happens again, we can prevent any form of exsanguination. Though these being refugee aliens, have they gone through the proper channels to become legal immigrants?"

"We are currently working with Amanda Waller to clear their immigration. She's become more willing to cooperate after the….Ace incident." Batman looked away. Though he may not show it, the Ace Incident still hurt him when he let himself think about it. The loss of a child's life was never easy to deal with.

Ivy looked up from the chemical reports she had moved to read when Thompkins arrived, as she would have just been in the way. She was an educated chemist on top of botany and toxicology, so she figured she could pitch a hand in understanding the chemical make-up of the Shinobi blood.

"I read about that when I was on task force x. The experiments done on the girl caused an aneurism that was killing her. The report didn't mention Batman's involvement though."

Batman looked at Ivy and without his cowl, she could feel the pain radiating from his eyes, "Ace was a powerful telekinetic, able to warp the very fabric of reality with her mind. Due to the aneurism, her powers were losing its stability which was killing her. She didn't want to be alone, so her powers manifested a new royal flush gang to be with her but it didn't exactly happen as she wanted and she was still alone. Waller called the league and we arrived to deal with the situation. She offered a device that would contain and eliminate the threat before the telekinetic backlash went nuclear, and I volunteered to handle it. I couldn't kill her but I was there in her last moments. She was so small, so young, so scared. All my training, all my gadgets, all my resources, and all I could do was hold her when her time came. She passed away in my arms."

The pain in his voice took Ivy's breath away. In all the time she fought against Batman, in all the debates and attempts to get one over the hero, she never considered how much it hurt him to do what he does, how much he keeps bottled inside. She knew he had a soft spot for children, four Robins were proof enough of that. One becoming Nightwing, one the current Batgirl, one buried and one maturing.

She'd been Poison Ivy for going on fifteen years, her mutation happening when she was about to hit her twenty-sixth birthday **(oh no! Another AN! Run!)** , but in all her encounters with the bat, she never considered the effect rather than the cause. Now that she thought about it, Bruce had watched his loving doting parents die right in front of him, which must have been quite traumatic, then nothing was ever really reported on him until he came of age and returned from gallivanting around the world. At the time, Ivy had just seen a spoiled rich brat, but as it was also the debut of the Bat, she now knew that was all an act. Did she make more bats in her pursuit of eco supremacy? She was going to have to talk to the Avatar about that.

A ping on his computer registered a finished analysis of the blood, the full chemical listing showed on the screen and those hard, pain filled blue eyes broke contact with hers and turned back to the screen. Nightwing stepped behind the Bat and placed a hand on his shoulder. And the Flash was there putting his hand on his other. Kid flash was still zipping around like a chicken with its head removed and caffeine poured down it's throat.

"Flash, how quickly could you synthesize this at the watchtower?" Bruce looked up on his left where the flash was standing. Lifting his hand to rub his chin, golden lightning began flickering in his eyes as he speed-read the listings and chemicals necessary to make up the blood and quickly wrote it down.

"Well it may take me about thirty minutes or so. Might be possible to do it faster if you can enlist Superman and Powergirl's help. Are any leaguers other than me in the know about the guy?"

Batman shook his head, "I have been keeping his arrival and observation low profile since I found him. Aside from getting Waller to help his immigration process, we've kept things discreet."

"Right. See, this is why some heads up would be nice Bruce. We probably could have already had a batch ready in cold storage just in case this became a thing. I have to ask though, if he isn't a trusted individual, why are you letting him work the good work?"

"He needed an outlet for his pent up energy. After He figured out how to get down here, he followed me out on patrol by clinging to the batmobile's roof. That night he stopped three rapes, four muggings and helped get a cat out a tree within an hour. By himself, I might add, without superspeed. I may not trust him, but he's proven he's willing and capable of doing the job." Bruce stood up and walked over to the remains of the Kitsune outfit, lifting the scrap that had the shuriken symbol. "He is a war veteran from a cataclysm torn world and yet, he Still has hope. He grieves for all he has lost, yet he fights for a better tomorrow. He holds secrets and I don't fully trust him, but then I don't fully trust anyone unless I can prove without a shadow of a doubt that they won't fall from the path. This said," he taps a few keys on his computer, "his file is now in the JL database, codename Kitsune."

The flash just gave a nod and called the headless chic- I mean Kid Flash and walked to the Zeta tube to beam to the watchtower,

"I'll get started on trying to synthesize the blood with KF, try to get some kryptonians to help, since their tech is more advanced."

Batman nodded as the Flash and kid flash entered the tube

**_"Recognized Flash 04, Kid Flash b-03"_ **

In a flash of light they were gone and everyone looked at Bruce. Well, the doctor and Alfred were still cleaning Naruto's healing wounds, trying to keep the healing factor on a healthy track.this 

"So, what exactly happened?"

And just like that the silence was broken, the emerald vixen's curiosity won through and she blurted out the question. When everyone not currently performing triage looked at her, she blushed, the blush on her cheeks darkening the amber of her face. She cleared her throat and tried to retake her poise nature, but the blush from her embarrassment remained. Bruce just sat down at the computer terminal and folded his hands under his chin and began speaking:

* * *

After he watched Kitsune move, the unknown ability he was showing irked him slightly, he sent a grapple line and followed the Fox to the city hall building where he just missed Kitsune drop through the roof and into the open lobby of the main hall. Using the skylight, he entered the building and dropped down behind Kitsune as three of the known hostages escaped through the door. Immediately his analytical mind began working, deadman switch still depressed now in Kitsune's hand, bomb vests on the floor, three of the known four accounted for, mayor's daughter still missing, wiring in culprits boot indicating secondary switch: unknown if connected to bomb vest or back up, culprit has slightly uplifted corner of mouth: contingencies probably planned in the event he is subdued.

facts:

Mayor was known to be crooked and Michael Burnette was a listed antagonist of the mayor and those who work for him.

Michael Burnette: Army Special Forces veteran: Honorable Discharge, 5 listed combat tours.

widower: wife a rape victim of Captain De LaCruz, evidence missing or inconclusive.

Father: both children deceased, newborn son the victim of De LaCruz , the other, Daughter age 12, a victim of human trafficking; kidnapped and force fed narcotics until dependence set in, found OD handcuffed to the mayor's bed at his private yacht.

Mayor claims framing; evidence not found.

Burnette has repeatedly been seen raging near police stations and city hall trying to gather support against the mayor, many such events found Burnette in the hospital due to unknown injuries, implicating hired hands or bribed officials. Crooked cops and doctors.

With the lack of Chloe's presence, Burnette must have set her in a separate place, boot switch suspected to signal her explosive

Leaning down, he checked the vests the other children had worn confirming his thoughts. Decoy, the plastic explosives on the vests were just playdough and clay. Burnette only intended one victim. An eye for an eye. He took the switch from Naruto, who was still pinning Burnette to the pillar by his throat with absolute rage shining on his face: the torn mask was barely concealing his identity, and looked it over. The wire meant to power the broadcast had been cut, meaning either the maker grew a conscience or Burnette meant it as part of the decoy with the switch in his boot the real switch, latter most probable.

The pressure he felt from earlier returned bringing his attention to Naruto as the Kitsune cocked his head to the side, then in a quick motion, dropped Burnette and ran further into the building.

Quickly sending a bolo bind at the bomber, Batman ran after the speeding fox themed hero, stopping long enough to see the safe door sheared off its hinges by force with two dents on its face. He had just entered the room in time to see Naruto rip the bomb off the girl and flip a desk over her before it went off. The force of the explosion was enough to send Naruto flying into him, the heat searing the skin around Batman's mouth.

He cowl quickly dampened the light and audio force of the explosion, leaving him with just ringing in his ears and spots he quickly blinked away.

He was quick in seeing the injuries to Naruto and activated code two protocol with Oracle before checking on the girl. With Kitsune's quick action with the desk, she luckily only received some shrapnel cuts and a few burns, first degree, maybe second if blisters formed. He told her to stay put until the EMTs and Cops came down and released the electromagnet clasps to his cape which he draped over Kitsune's form. Sending the command from his cowl, he initiated emergency protocol mode for the batmobile, making it switch the passenger side into an stabilized stretcher, he quickly left the building carrying Kitsune wrapped in his cape to the exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note number 2, Ivy's age
> 
> In canon, Harley is 25, which I'll explore more in a later chapter, but as it takes 8 years to earn a PhD the normal way, I couldn't conceive how she earned her doctorate unless she graduated highschool at 17 and since she was late year born (canon says September), like myself, she would have graduated highschool at 18 unless she skipped grades. Since there is no evidence of this or any details of her education prior to college, I simply changed numbers, instead of graduating at 25, I made it 26 and hired as an intern at Arkham at 28. Ivy will be 41 in this story at this moment.
> 
> Ivy: 41 graduated college at 25, worked with Woodrue for one year then active as Poison Ivy for 15
> 
> Harleen:33, graduated college 25, unmentioned year, hired at Arkham at 26 for 1 year , worked as Harley quinn for 2, making her fall rall pregnant around 29, then the four years time gap.
> 
> Bit of a side note: I'm trying like crazy to make Ivy feel like she does in the Harley Quinn series on the DC universe streaming app (and I'm failing I think), though I'm unsure if I'll pair her up with Kiteman in this. Only pairing I've set in stone is Naruto/Harley and maybe Damian/Mirai, though I am actually kinda unsure how to write it other than a moment of passion between the two and Naruto rocking her world. I'm trying to keep it as real as possible without breaking any power caps, though with Naruto's and DC universe's power ceilings, it's a tad difficult with literal gods involved.


	5. Born on a Monday pt 1

"....and in other news, startling revelations came to light in relation to the Gotham city hall bomber, Michael Burnette. Evidence revealed the Mayor and several people with close ties to him had allegations of several criminal activities leading to the culmination that ended with the hostage situation at city hall. With the new evidence, Mr. Burnette's trial is postponed under a formal investigation, Jim Gordon had this to say," 

The feed switched to show a burly caucasian male with snow white hair and a slightly wrinkled face standing before a podium with Batman standing behind him,

"It's deplorable how greedy people can be. The fact that this was so well hidden from the public makes me wonder about the rest of our police force. How many of my badges are bought? We will be conducting a thorough investigation, and I do mean thorough. The fingered culprits have already been rounded up and will be on their way to Blackgate if I have anything to say about it. I need to know I have honest people defending the streets, not crooks with an ego" 

A reporter with long shiny black hair wearing a tight fitting blazer and skirt raised her hand. After receiving recognition, she stood up, 

"Commissioner, what do you have to say about the new vigilante working with Batman on this case? Reports suggest this masked fighter, this "kitsune", was grievously injured in the explosion and spent 2 hours digging for people at one of the collapsed apartment complexes before confronting the bomber and saving the Mayor's Daughter?"

"That is indeed correct but also not exact, Miss Lane. You see Miss Lane, Kitsune is in fact a government agent working alongside Batman as well as learning from him as a criminal investigation expert. He will be around Gotham as a secondary pair of eyes on the subjects of the VRA currently living with Mr. Wayne. As to his injuries, I have a report from his Doctor listing his injuries are well over a year old, sustained in a sting operation himself and a select others performed on a drug manufacturing center. From the reports, he was severely burned in an explosion to his face and upper back. In short, Miss Lane. He wasn't severely injured last week, however his scars were revealed due to the damage to his suit. However, he did have a piece of rebar puncture his side, but his doctor claims he will make a full recovery."

"By select individuals, are you referring to the lauded Task force x, more commonly known as the suicide squad?"

"Miss Lane, I am not cleared to know that form of information, just that he was working with select individuals."

The feed switches back to the news anchor on the news channel playing, the sound echoing through the room before Harley clicked it off. 

She had taken to sitting in this room for the atmosphere of peace she felt here, radiating from the blonde currently resting in bed. All external wounds had closed up and healed yet he still hadn't woken up. 

Doctor Thompson had said she wasn't sure what was keeping him under as physically, he was fine. Well, fine with a massive scar covering his face and neck. She wondered about that, the scar completely covered, front to back, the side of his face. Alfred said it was from being pressed into the wall that separates their worlds, but it did make her wonder. The three lines on his cheek, not scars as they weren't raised so she assumed birthmarks, made her even more curious. Mirai didn't have these marks, so she didn't know if it was just a thing for him or not. Harley thought they were kinda cute, not that she'd say that out loud, well, not yet. If she survived Joker's wrath, maybe. Oh, she knew the Joker would find her, it was only a matter of time. She wasn't really confident in Batman's security or any of their protections, sure Ivy could attempt to fight the Joker, but he's beaten her before.

Harley scratched at the strange mark on the underside of her forearm when she woke up at Wayne manor, she had found it there, some weird kanji lines up vertically. Since Ivy had one too, she figured it was where they put the sedative injector at, but she couldn't find any incision marks which baffled her. In the long run, it wouldn't matter. Joker would kill her, probably take the baby, raise it like some demented freak show clown and set the child loose on Gotham like it was some kind of sick joke. She might have loved the Joker, but she wasn't crazy. Well, she was, but she wasn't that crazy.

A soft groan caught her attention, pulling her out of her thoughts and the deepest blue eyes were looking at her. Where one had been milky and pale, it now shone like the surface of the ocean, a myriad of emotions flicking through them so fast, it made her head spin. Her head tilted without her paying much attention, at least, not until she heard the thunk of metal sinking into wood behind her, that got her attention. Quickly she raised her hands in surrender and started fussing

"Woah! Woah, notta enemy here! Harley is a good girl, no more throwing knives please! You're in Gotham, not Konoha, you're safe! Easy, Just breath, blondie." 

"....why….are….you….." came a rough whisper behind her. She looked at the bed which was now empty. Quickly spinning around, she saw **ABS**.

Good grief, you could grate cheese on them! Sure there were scars and that weird spiral tattoo thing, but sweet Mary Ann Josephine! **_ABS!_ **

Momma wants to touch!

_'Wait. Hold up Harley, cold thoughts, don't let the hormones win!'_

Fingers snapped under her nose and those cerulean ocean deep eyes were close to level with her sky blue ones. Cripes, she could just get lost in the depth of his eyes.

"....are...you...ok?" He asked as he pulled a tight orange shirt over his **_ABS_ **. Ok, she might be drooling a bit. Snapping out of her reverie, she looked around her, from the bed to the kunai with the familiar markings sunk into the wall. Very familiar markings. Four of them, The same four kanji. she pulled back the sleeve of her maternity blouse. Yup. Same. Wait, did he teleport to the kunai or something? Does that mean he could teleport to her? Safety measure or preventative measure? 

"My….father's…..technique. Hirai...shin." he had to quit doing that, interrupting her thoughts.

"You know we have medical ways of fixing your throat so you can speak, yes, Master Uzumaki?" 

_'Jesus! Where did he come from!?'_ Harley thought as she totally didn't jump into Naruto's arms like the dog from that old cartoon back in the 80's with a scream. Shee was there because she wanted to be there, that was all it was. Yeah. 

Naruto just blinked in surprise and held her in a bridal lift before looking at Alfred and cocking his head to the side.

"Ah, apologies, Miss Quinzel. I heard noise in the room and figured Mr. Uzumaki had rejoined the waking world. Though I did not expect you to be up and about already, Mr. Uzumaki."

Naruto shrugged and set Harley in the chair near the window.

"Healed…..the Green wanted…..talk. we...talked."

"The Green, Mr-"

"Naruto….please, Alfred. Keep…..telling you.."

"The Green, Naruto?" Alfread finished, looking amused.

"Where…. is …..Ivy?" Naruto asked instead, as he fixed binders to his leg over his blue jean's and slid a pouch onto the cloth, with Harley watching out of curiosity.

"Dr. Isley is outside amongst your rose bed. She has been there since sunrise." Was the reply he got.

"Why?" Naruto continued as he pulled his black neck warmer up over his chin and nose.

"She says they sing to her in song. She was in fact weeping. She said they were beautiful," Alfred sniffed, irritated that Naruto was awarded as the better gardener than he by someone who could commune with the plants. Naruto nodded, and quickly signed out _"she could explain better"_

"Very well, would you like to see Master Bruce? I believe he is down in his study."

 _I need to talk to Ivy first, The Green said she could help_ Naruto signed in response as he went to step by Alfred before looking back at Harley.

 _ask her if she wants to come along? I don't think being cooped up is any good_.

"Very well, you are correct. Miss Quinzel, Naruto has asked if you'd like to accompany him onto the grounds to find Miss Isley."

Harley shrugged and stood up, rubbing her belly as she followed them onto the grounds.

* * *

Miles from the outskirts of Gotham city, deep in the murky waters of the swamp, is a place where local legends say terror rises. Some people claim their friends are pulled under, never to be seen again, others claim to see a figure lurching through the muck. The fog that floats above the water is said to carry voices, spirits kept or lingering despair drifting in the damp air. Back in the '60s a large murder case was filed, but went cold with no body and lack of evidence, the victim's name: Cyrus Gold.

However, Magic was real and had been proven such, with heroes like the lovely vision named Zatanna, the alluring half demon Rachel Roth, the mighty rhyming demon Etrigan and Doctor Fate as well as Villains like egotistical Felix Faust, the beautiful Circe and Wotan. 

Chemicals were once dumped at this swamp, polluting the natural spring of mystical energy and the ley lines that intersect under this swamp making it a contaminated source of necrotic energy. The legend of the headless boy? A corpse temporarily animated by the energy of the swamp. The whispers in the fog? The energy carrying the despair of those murdered on the shore and cast into the water for the animals to devour.

This once rejuvenating body of water and source of green energy, once a bathing spot of the immortal Ra's Al Ghul, had once been a natural Lazarus Pit that formed from the mystical power of the area. Now it was the resting place of the necrotic Cyrus Gold or as he is more well known, Solomon Grundy.

Headlights shine brightly from a cherry red sports car parked hidden by the shore line, one Monday evening, its windows fogged up with trails of smoke drifting up from the cracked down windows. A soft giggling could be heard from inside, with the car shaking slightly on its hinges followed by moaning and grunting. As the shaking stops, one of the doors opens, revealing a teenage boy, just on the cusp of adulthood, with sandy blonde hair getting out laughing, with only his boxers to cover him. In the back seat a young brunette girl was pushing at him with a large grin on her face as the young man danced away from her fingers. 

Making a silly face, the boy shut the door and happily bounced over to a bush to relieve himself. In the natural quiet of the swamp, he smiled, plans of leaving Gotham with his girlfriend and maybe moving west. He had heard Jump City had a low crime rate and good jobs, as well as a really good local college where he could try for his engineering degree. So caught up in his own little world, he didn't notice the swamp had gone dead silent. 

He didn't feel the presence of something behind him. Finally finished, he killed the joint he had been burning and stomped it underfoot before realizing hot embers on bare skin really hurts. Bouncing up and down nursing the very minor burn he never heard the sounds of large feet pressing, squelching, out of the water. He never heard the thump of skin hitting the dry dirt, the soft drops of water hitting the ground. At least until he turned around.

It would seem his plans would never come to fruition as he stared up at the massive monstrosity of Slaughter Swamp.

* * *

The blue lights were flashing early morning as police and an ambulance were scouring the area. At 4:30 am, the state park rangers received a distress call and went to investigate, they immediately called the police who cordoned off the area. Paramedics had needed to cut a girl they had found in a heavily beat up two thousand and six Camaro, who would soon be rushed to the nearest hospital as she was barely clinging to life. The car had been flattened like it was run over by a rhino, the hood trapping the poor girl to the seat and crushing her legs. Fifteen feet away they found the corpse of a boy who had been ripped apart into pieces and tossed into a gory mess. The boy's face looked as if something wide and flat had hit him with the force of a power hammer, making it unrecognizable. That is when they found his head as it had been detached and torn away from his torso and thrown yards.

Renee Montoya rubbed her face. This was the fifth case of something like this, highschool kids coming out here to get their jollies, hide from overbearing parents or just relax. One case had a same sex couple literally pressed into each other with a large footprint in their remains.

"Which bat are you?" She asked, not turning around.

She didn't expect a response and she didn't get one so she turned. And promptly had to slow her heart. 

Standing behind him was a tall figure with a fox skull on its head, reddish-orange lenses with an ellipse for the pupil, and was glowing in the lingering darkness. In the crease between the orbital sockets was a carved spiral leaf. On its torso was a black, kevlar woven top with a form fitted plate with an orange spiral shuriken symbol on it, and intricate vine like patterns that seemed to glow a dull orange down the sleeves to the gauntlets. 

The gauntlets started at a slant, one point spiking at his elbows, the other curving around the bend of the joint. At the outer side, the side of the ulnar bone, there were two sharp blades that curved towards his fists, both about two inches long, with the blades on the inside of the curve. The finishing touch were the claws tipping each finger.

The bottoms were less eye catchy, form fitting black with pads at the knees and tucked into the plated boots which had a number nine in dull orange at the ankles.

"Well, now I can see why you wear the other mask under that. Christ, think I just lost years off my life and I work with your boss."

The figure cocked his head to the side making his skull helmet seem to grin in the moonlight. 

"Right, you don't speak. Is he listening in?"

The figure nodded

"Good. This is the fifth case of this happening. Evidence points to some sort of creature, I'm guessing roughly maybe eight, nine hundred pounds, probably humanoid in build judging by the foot print it left behind."

A soft whir and a click had her turning back around to look at the figure, catching the skull splitting open and folding behind it's back revealing a black mask that only opened at the eyes with the spiral leaf done in slender orange. The lightning was too dark to see the figures eyes though as it, he, rubbed the back of his head and signed

_Do you sign?_

"Yeah, helps being a detective. So you can't speak at all?"

The figure shook his head, then haltinging spoke in a hoarse harsh whisper, "can…..but…..sign….faster."

"Alright. Your boss still listening?"

The figure did what she assumes was a deadpan.

"Right, silly question. Victims for this case were Nathaniel Greene, 18 and a Luna Andersson, 17. Track star and his biggest supporter at the East Gotham Highschool. Forensics had to ID Nathaniel by his teeth, something caved his face in. Before his head hit a tree"

Kitsune nodded. _Mind if I have a look around?_

"By all means, knock yourself out." She turned and he was gone.

In the brush, he hit the controls for his cowl and let it fold back over his face, the unsettling mask clicking into place. He waited for the HUD to boot up, closing his eyes as the bright blue Oracle logo lit up and switched over to camera feed. The cowl was a piece of work done by the scientists under Bruce, capable of reacting to neural patterns to give thought voice. Well text really. He had mixed the text to speech idea, preferring to create a persona of the silent fighter. It….had taking a while to figure it out and learn how to push his thoughts and which thoughts he wanted sent into the text. It was rather humiliating some of the thoughts that were sent, like how Harley's breasts were nice and how he liked how Batgirl's uniform hugged her taut tight rear end, damning Jiraiya for making him proofread his smut and making him notice things of the perverted nature, and how much he loved ramen and wished this world had an ichiraku's.

He felt silly wearing it as a skull but the Bat said he needed the weapon of fear, so he went with something that paid homage to Kurama as well as struck fear. It did make him grin when people jumped when he wore it. It was fun, but not really his style. Maybe he could change it up later, make it a root anbu mask instead. That'd be reminiscent of Sai and home, yeah?

Something caught his attention, a smell he hadn't noticed before, like rotting wood mixed with putrid flesh. Crouching down, he quickly scanned the environment for threats. With nothing showing, he slowly and soundless crept through the underbrush to follow the scent. As the scent grew stronger, the air seemed to turn ominous and foreboding, like nature was rejecting his presence and warning him to leave. Stopping where he was, he shifted slightly before trying to draw in from nature

**LEAVE NOW!**

It was like he was being suffocated, smothered on all sides, the polluted nature of the natural energy horrendously pushed and fought him, forcing him to quickly release it.

This had been the dark aspect that he felt last week! This was the aspect the parliament of Green had warned him about, the Rot, The natural state of death and decay. He stepped back where the ominous energy wasn't as pressing and sent a message to Oracle, 

_Barbara, any chance I can get a magic expert? I don't know much about your world, but I think I found a pocket of ill intended energy. Send someone of the Green as well, I felt the presence of the Rot. Preferably Swamp-Thing._

After sending the message, he froze. The world had gone quiet. Woods are not supposed to be so quiet. He quickly dodged to the side as inky black spikes shot up out of the ground where he had been standing.

"Oh? Pity, I was so quiet too." Taunted a voice from the spikes, a voice he hadn't heard in ages, a voice belonging to someone who was supposed to be dead, "what's wrong kyūbi? Fox got your tongue? Oh, that's right, Mother destroyed your ability to talk. Shame, I had hoped to hear you scream, but then your voice always was annoying. Here I was, tracking down that brainless oaf of a revenant, when wouldn't you know it, a little fox crossed my path." Naruto quickly jumped again as the tendrils shot up from the ground again before sinking back down. Naruto landed on guard, his pronged kunai held in a reverse grip as he tried to find where Zetsu would appear next. With the Rot blocking his sage mode and Kurama not even close to being conscious, he only had the slight tremor in the soil as warning.

"oh do stand still, you only prolong your death and my revenge. I can't take it out on the Uchiha shit that sealed her in his dimension, but you, oooooh yes, I can make you beg, and I will. I will feast on your fear, your pain, your suffering,"

Faster than Naruto could react, a tendril shot out of the trees and wrapped around his neck and pulled Kitsune off the ground, "And you will never see me coming." Zetsu growled before dropping the hero who quickly kipped back to his feet and twisted around ready to throw his kunai.

Zetsu's presence was gone from the clearing, but Naruto didn't drop his guard. How was the creature still alive? They had locked him inside a storage containment scroll within a scroll within a scroll then burned the scroll, he should have been erased from existence! 

Gibberish and wingdings started popping up on the screen in text, his mind was so focused on that one question: How was Zetsu alive? This did not bode well, not at all.

"...ruto?! Answer me! What is going on? Nightwing, what's the ETA? I can't get a signal from Kitsune, his last ping was somewhere in Slaughter Swamp. Superman, Doctor Fate, Swamp-Thing and Black Orchid have already arrived and are looking for him." Came Barbara's voice over the coms, "hang on, his coms just pinged, got his location and I'm relaying it to your HUD now."

_Oracle, I'm fine. Well not fine, but I will be soon. Saw a ghost._

"The hell you mean a gho-, wait, someone from your past?"

_Someone who should be dead. Don't know how it's alive or even here for that matter, but I'm going to find out._

"Threat level?"

_It's a conniving shit, immortal and cunning with a charismatic nature, potential Epsilon with it's way with words. We need to find out where it is before it spreads roots in this world._

"You make it sound like a plant." Nightwing chimed in

_Open a document, title: Zetsu. Third child of Kaguya. Make up and body structure unknown, shapeshifter. It was the root of almost every problem in my world, setting up the planet's final moments. We had it contained, but somehow it escaped and is in this world now._

"So it's not a plant. How do we look for it?"

_It can be anywhere not magically warded. Seems to have a connection to the Rot._

A figure dropped down in front of him, making him tense up and almost threw his kunai, relaxing when he saw the red and blue of Superman. With curves. Really nice curves. What?

Kitsune's mind ground to a halt. This wasn't the perky, overly friendly blonde that hung out with Oracle, this one was taller and older. Also her hair was shorter and black. The...fuck?

_Um….who is this?_

A snort came through the coms, "Kryptonians are extremely weak to sorcery and superman got hit with wild magic. We haven't figured out how to reverse it yet, so until then, um…..meet Superwoman?"

_Lame name. Seriously "superman"? Superwoman? What's next? Superboy and his pet Superdog?_

"Um….."

_I was being sarcastic!_

Superwoman cleared her throat, "if you're done talking about me, can you tell us what's going on? I might not have telepathy, but I can hear Oracle."

'Fuck this is weird, even her voice was different, almost melodic. Wild magic did this? Log, they were bigger than Tsunade's, no, bad thoughts, bad thoughts, bad naruto, you are not a pervert.'

On the channel broadcast, Oracle chimed in,

"Sorry super- um…"

"Just, just call me Kal, Oracle. This is weird for me too." Kal sighed, rubbing her neck.

"Kitsune, stop staring at superman's breasts."

Super….Kal jerked around, just catching wisps of smoke where Kitsune had been. "You know I can hear your heart beating, right?" She turned her head and looked up at Naruto who was clinging to a tree, his cowl withdrawn and a sheepish look carrying through his mask. This was where Nightwing and Doctor Fate entered, Doctor fate slowly floating down with his arms crossed. Nightwing looked up at Naruto hanging from a tree and then at the scowling Kryptonian and shook his head. 

"Swamp-Thing says there is too much distortion to the green of this area and he couldn't enter without purification." Naruto was beside him in an instant, the cowl partially up so he could use thought to text. Nabu scoffed and flicked his wrist at the shinobi who started coughing and choking.

"Speak child. You did not ask for our presence to waste our time with your silly hand gestures, nor are we connected to the system you send your words to."

Naruto fell to his knees, still coughing and struggling to breathe as blood began to soak the fabric covering his mouth, causing Nightwing to turn with an escrima stick in the face of Nabu's mask,

"I'm only going to ask once, Nabu before I pull that helmet off of you. What did you do?"

The helmeted hero turned his head to face Nightwing the helmet not giving any hint to his facial expression, 

"I removed the scarring to his larynx. The energy creature inside of him should grant him healing now that it's had time enough to gain some of itself back." 

The escrima stick came closer, "and you didn't even bother asking if he was ok with this?! Christ, Nabu, you're a lord of Order, show some bloody compassion and decency!" He looked back at Naruto who was on his hands and knees choking, "shit. Fuck. Ok. Big S, get him to med-bay, me and Fate can do the investigation here. Get Mr. T and Doctor light, Doctor Thompkins is with Quinn, helping her with contractions. With the baby due any moment, we need her there where it's safest" the kryptonian nodded and called up to the watchtower, within seconds, they disappeared in light particles. 

Nightwing turned his glare back at the helmet controlling Zatarra, his friend's father. "We got work to do." He hit a button on his belt, "cyborg, I need some friends. We have a party at Slaughter Swamp and not the fun kind."

* * *

There was a bustle in the med-bay as the gender flipped kryptonian entered with an unknown mask, with a lot of people wondering who it was. The figure was coughing and retching blood through a torn mask and holding his throat as he walked/was carried into an open bay. Once inside Naruto ripped his mask off and collapsed, struggling to gasp for air through the blood that kept flooding his throat. Rushing to the door, she shouted for an endotracheal tube. She hated moments like this, all her powers and she couldn't help as the young adult choked on his own blood. It was obvious he'd been through worse, with the horrendous puckered white scarring on his face and neck. She could see the scars in his bones as well, the multiple times he broke his ribs. Fate mentioned a healing factor, why hasn't it kicked in yet? She could see his lungs starting to fill with blood and mucus and started informing the medical personnel as they entered, immediately the endotracheal tube was coerced down his throat, a needle with nanites slammed into his chest to help with clearing the blood already in his lungs and patching the damaged areas that were magiced away. She hated magic. She looked down at her body, royally.

"So, who's he?" Came a deep voice beside her, causing her to turn.

A large muscular African American with a large T-shaped mask stood looking through the viewing window as the medics hooking him up to a breathing machine. Mr. Terrific. One of the most intelligent men she had ever met, his T-spheres floating around him idly.

"Naruto Uzumaki, code name Kitsune. Interdimensional refugee and one of the last of his kind, according to Nightwing."

"So this is the famous Kitsune. Thought he'd be taller. And how are you adjusting to your new form?"

"Still feel like a pervert every time I take a shower"

Mr. Terrific laughed, "I suppose that's fair, once we figure out how to reverse this, we can have you back to normal in no time."

"I might not ever be normal again. Hey, Terrific, when Fate did….whatever he did, he mentioned some sort of healing factor. Any idea why it's not kicking in?"

"That's the strange thing. The nanites report there's some sort of energy they can't read that's healing but it's like it's subdued. From the reports Batman and the Flash gave us, he should have a factor of four healing him, but right now it's like it's at 2. Maybe it has something to do with that secondary circulatory system."

"Sorry, I've been a little hung up over," she gestures to her body, "this and haven't had the chance to look over his file yet."

"Ah. Suppose I would be too, had it happened to me. Still, give it a once

over. Guy's been through hell and yet, he still comes back swinging."

"Best normally do. He must be some kind of special if Bats is sponsoring him."

"Hey um Doc, is this normal?"

Doctor Leslie Thompson turned and gasped, "Miss Quinzel, I must insist to return to your bed immediately, your water just broke. Did you feel anything pop before the liquid came out?"

Harley nodded.

"Ok, that means your beginning to start going into labor. We'll need hands on deck" she walked over to the intercom and depressed the call button, "Mr. Pennyworth?"

"Yes Doctor?" 

"All hands on deck, man the battle stations, we got incoming."

"Oh. I shall begin preparations at once!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note. 
> 
> Felt like this was a good stopping point for this chappy, dunno if I'm going to keep the Woman of steel thing or not. That was kinda a spur of the moment joke. May keep it, may not.
> 
> I know I'm not a great writer, hell my character development sucks, and each time I try to work on it, I draw blanks.
> 
> Might take a recess and do some research, DC has a LOT of characters. 
> 
> Halo's corner of recommended stories:
> 
> The Red Fox by tobi wants a cookie- I'm not really big on CRA fics, but this one is fun to read, takes place after the JL:U episode Epilogue (which still breaks my heart every damned time.) Sarutobi in an effort to protect Naruto from the villagers mislabeling him as the fox, contacts The Wall and she convinces Batman to adopt the boy. I'm not doing a great job summarizing, but twac has some great reads under their account.


	6. Born on a Monday p2

As he slowly began to regain consciousness, he already knew where he was. 

Ankle deep water? Check.

Depressing air? Check

Giant vertical barred doors swung wide open? Check

Fox? No.

The pang of sadness and loneliness burned in the pit of his chest. It was hard not seeing his friend, being able to trade sarcasm back and forth. They had been the first people to recognize each other as beings, friends. 

Brothers. He knew Kurama was here somewhere, but weak and tired. 

He could still feel it's presence, he could feel their bond, just enough to know the fox was still with him.

He sat on the ground, willing the water to recede. Naruto didn't know if he'd ever see the fox again in his lifetime, but with a soft sad smile, he remembered the time he had. 

After some time had passed, he stood up and willed himself out of his mindscape and vanished from the sewers, never noticing the tiny pair of sad red eyes watching him from within the shadows of the corner.

* * *

"He's waking up! Go get Doctor Midnight or Doctor Light!"

He blinked the blurriness out of his eyes, his throat was numb and felt incredibly dry so he tried to rub it. A hand like a vice caught his wrist and he looked over and saw superman(…. superwoman?) holding his wrist, 

You might not want to touch that just yet. Nanites are still scrapping your larynx."

Nanites? His mind struggled trying to find reference to the word. Since he didn't know the word, he simply tilted his head in a questioning motion, which the kryptonian misunderstood,

"Doctor Fate vanished the malformation and scarring along your larynx, as well as a portion of the incorrectly shaped cartilage, causing a lot of blood vessels to open in your throat. A lot of capillaries. You were drowning on your own blood. We got here fast enough, put a tube to your lungs which made you able to breathe, and injected tiny robots to clean and repair the damage. What Nabu did was uncalled for and his helm is being confined to his tower for a while. Which is a good thing I guess, as it allows Zatanna to spend time with her father." She scratched her head, "kinda works out for the best in a way. You regain the ability to talk if the microbots work correctly and a young lady gets to spend time with the father she thought she'd lost." 

The door opened and a woman in a tight black one piece suit with white accenting and a white cape stepped in reading a clipboard. Her white glove kept flipping back and forth on a page as she cross checked what she was reading. The kryptonian in the room cleared her throat pulling the women's thoughts away from her writings and back to reality. 

"Oh! Sorry, how are you feeling Mr. Uzu-"

Another throat clearing.

"-r-right, Kitsune. How are you feeling, Kitsune?"

Naruto looked back and forth between the Kryptonian and the woman.

"Right. Um….I'm sorry I'm being weird. This is really really new to me, being a doctor for superheroes. Ok," she took a deep breath in.

The doctor blushed bright, "I really am sorry, I'm just nervous I guess. Hard to be professional, you know? Eep!" She squeaked as warm arms wrapped around her, "ano, why is he hugging me?" 

"I'm afraid I don't know. Judging by the rate of his heartbeat, I'd say he's now too embarrassed to let go.

Hinata. When the Doctor started fussing, all he could see was lavender eyes so full of warmth and kindness and her heavy white coat that hid her toned, battle hardened form. It didn't even register in his mind that this wasn't his Hinata, his closest friend, his family, his sister in all but blood. The one who knew him the best. Then he heard superman speak and reality came crashing it, shattering his heart into millions of pieces. He heard her incorrectly guess why he was still holding the foreign woman so familiarly. Sure he was embarrassed, but it wasn't why he still held on.

He held on because of the tears and the pain of the heart.

It hadn't really set in that he was the last male of his world, that all his friends were gone, his family was gone and he couldn't be near them. This doctor light reminded him so strongly of hinata that he couldn't stay. He was awake, he had healed, he was gone.

He let go of the reminder of his past and bolted out of the door as fast as he could, which although unable to tap into his higher forms, was still pretty fast. According to Bruce, if he built up a good head of steam, Naruto could run upwards of sixty-ish mph (60 mph is roughly 96.6 kph) and if he tapped into sage mode, he could touch the sound barrier. If Kurama was capable, he could tap into the Bijuu chakra and break it. Or at least that is what Bruce said when Naruto described what happened if he moved full speed in the cloak, the sonic boom and the Prandtl–Glauert singularity or vapor cone that formed **(so many author's notes, so little time)**. Though in all honesty, Naruto would trade all the power in the world if he could just speak with Kurama one more time.

He didn't have much room to move, the hallways were not very wide and there were people everywhere, including in his way. Several wore outlandish outfits, some had weird body structures, some flew, some didn't, some even hung from the ceiling. And the colors!

There were rainbows of colors of all shades, from exultant royal purple to the fiercest of red. So distracted by the variety of people, he ran full speed into and through a translucent glowing green wall and lost his footing, causing him to tumble and roll. Knocking several bystanders over along the way. 

Another green glow stopped him, arresting his momentum in a glowing ball causing him to panic. Naruto punched it with more strength than he meant to, splitting his knuckles on the weird material, but shattering it nonetheless. Another green construct formed around him, causing Naruto to begin hyperventilation. Instead of a green wall, he saw flower petals closing in around him, a laughing woman with pale skin and three eyes in an elegant kimono instead of a young caucasian kid in a tight skinned suit. He couldn't feel nature, why couldn't he feel nature!? He couldn't breathe! Darkness edged his vision as he fought against the vines, the woman with three eyes was talking, he pulled and pulled but he couldn't break free!

**Naruto.**

Voice, he could hear it. Who was it? The darkness was absolute as he fell into nothing.

Superman, er woman, flew into the main hub of the watchtower looking for the errant Kitsune. Spotting him, she could hear his rapid beating heart as he collapsed inside a green construct of one of the green lanterns.

She quickly flew down, shattered it into pieces and caught the panicked Kitsune before he could hit the floor. His breathing was rapid, his heart beating a rhythm that frightened her, his skin was pale and clammy, his eyes dilated. He was having a major panic attack. She'd seen this before with combat veterans who had just come home from deployment. The Green Lantern touched down beside her as she quickly ripped open his top revealing a mesh shirt under it, and tore Naruto's belt open, then lifting his legs and keeping them bent she listened. Breathing, good. Heart rate slowing, better. 

She looked up at the GL, Kyle Rayner, the newest green lantern of earth, so new in fact, he didn't have the GL symbol, just a white circle on his pectoral, to glare at him until she saw the look of horror and shock on his face. He hadn't known nor had he intended. Probably why he froze, either that or he had tried to talk Naruto down from his attack, which is a known method of helping with panic or anxiety attacks and it didn't work this time. She didn't have all the facts yet, so she just raised an expecting eyebrow. He just stared at her for a moment. Another green lantern floated down and put his hand on Kyle's shoulder. Hal Jordan, the first human green lantern, turned to meet the super eyebrow. 

"Kid came running through here and was causing a bit of a ruckus so Kyle tried to stop him with a construct. The kid barreled through it lik it was nothing. I tried to slow him down with a weak bubble when he started panicking and broke through it, when Kyle hit him with a stronger bubble. Kid began to hyperventilate so we tried to calm him down, to calm him so he didn't, well, this." He gestured to the young man, 

"I didn't know who he was and just saw a guy blasting through. Set a wall in front of him just to get him to slow him down like Guy showed me. He, he just went through it. Didn't even stop!" 

Kyle was shaking, too new to this and not fully baptized by the superhero life. She sighed. With a gesture of her chin she told Hal to take him and calm him down, the kid was upset, and looked down at Naruto. His heart was back to a consistent rhythm and his breathing was steady. Crisis over, now comes the waiting. So wait she did.

* * *

  
  


He was back in the sewer again. Looking around, he wondered what pulled him back here, he didn't come into his mindscape often anymore since Kurama wasn't solid yet; it was nothing but an empty reminder of the hollow victory he won.

Well, this was until a small nine tailed fox jumped up into his vision and sent him flying with a haymaker. Before he even had a chance to land, tails wrapped around his wrists and ankles and held him in the air, followed by a drop kick to his forehead and finally a weight on his chest as he came to a rest near a wall.

**Of all the stupid, bone headed moves. A girl reminds you of that pale eye and you freak out. You planning on pulling your head out of your ass any time soon or am I going to have to beat it out?!**

Naruto just layed there just staring at the fox before it registered. Really registered. Sitting on his chest was a small orange anthropomorphic fox with rabbit-like ears sticking out of his head. The corner of its eyes to the inside tips of its ears were blackish grey with its red slitted pupils sat gleaming. Canines poked through the scowl on its black lips as it stared down at Naruto

**Well?**

Naruto moved a hand up and poked the fox, who's deep guttural voice did not match its size,

"K-Kurama?"

**By the log, you know any other foxes as great as me?**

Naruto wrapped his arms around his friend in a tight hug.

 **Whoa mind the chibi, MIND THE CHIBI!** A tail smacked Naruto in the face, making the blonde laugh and lay back, happy to just stare at his friend. Kurama smoothed down his fur. 

**Meditate later, Kit. Right now you need to get back out there and I need to sleep. I'm not exactly at my greatest here**

Naruto laughed again, "I dunno, at your size, you might make a great football **(soccer ball to my fellow Americans)**. Make the girls scream 'kawaii!'" 

Kurama bit his nose making naruto jump up trying to pull him off,

**Who's kawaii now, bitch? Say uncle! Say it!**

"Get off me you furball!"

**Say it!**

"Fuck you!"

**You wouldn't like it, I'd just lay there.**

"Pervert!"

**I have no gender, how can I be a pervert?**

With a jerk, Naruto pulled Kurama off his nose and started laughing with Kurama joining in as the shinobi embraced his friend again, 

"I missed you, partner."

**I was never far away, Kit. Now go. You have some dark haired chick waiting on you. Next time, breathe. My bitch of a grandmother is gone.**

Naruto took a deep breath and was gone from the sewer. Kurama jumped up onto a piece of rock that wasn't submerged in refuse of depression that flooded the sewer and curled up with a small smile.

  
  


As Naruto resurfaced into the waking world the first thing he noticed was the stitch in his lungs and the upset stomach. He lifted his head up slightly before a wave of nausea forced him to drop it back to the floor. Taking a deep breath, he focused on settling his stomach, taking long deep breaths and slowly releasing them. Someone was talking to him, but his mind was still somewhat foggy. 

He tried lifting his head again, his eyes focusing on the kryptonian holding up his legs. She was speaking to him but it wasn't until reality shifted back into place that he could understand her,

"‐a lot of trouble, aren't you?"

Taking his legs off her arm, he slowly rolled onto his side and very slowly stood up, dizziness heavy in his head. He hadn't had an anxiety attack like that in a while. Between finding out Zetsu was alive, Doctor Fate doing….whatever he did, and the woman who looked and sounded like Hinata, not to mention the green stuff. Beside the kryptonian was Doctor Light and two dark skinned men that wouldn't look out of place in Kumo, one with a large black T on his face, the other wearing a tight green and black outfit with a bald head and goatee. He kinda reminded Naruto of the raikage, A, if at least in stance. T face had no pupils, which he assumed were contacts, the other had eyes that glowed vibrantly green with power and what looked like a permanent scowl. T face had holographic displays around him that he was pressing and moving around which was kinda weird

**Like you're one to talk mr fifty-eight bowls of ramen.**

His eyes went wide and like the sun coming out from behind a cloud, a radiant smile stretched across his face as he remembered he wasn't alone anymore

He heard a scoff, **You were never alone, you idiot.**

"Ok, nanites report that the healing program has run it's full sequence. If you could Kitsune, try vocalizing for us." The T-face said, not looking away from his….screens? Holograms? Hard light? Fuck it, screens.

Naruto's head began its tilt.

The other guy sighed, "He means try speaking."

'Oh.' A snicker sounded in his mind

"Um…" his voice sounded out, making his eyes widen and he touched his throat, feeling his Adam's apple. He could still feel the raised skin of the scarring, but his crushed and disfigured throat felt….normal. testing it, he hummed softly, his voice clear and smooth, no hoarseness, no pain from the vibrations, clear and smooth.

He could speak. He could talk! Tears began to well up in his eyes as he kept testing his range. Quickly, he grabbed the closest person (Doctor Light squeaked) and began to dance and jump around in joy, a smile that could light up all of Gotham stretched across his face.

As he calmed down, he tested the english he knew from learning with Mirai, his japanese like accent heavily coming through his speech,

"My na‐ame is Na-aruuto Uzumaki" 

**Jeez, you are still the** **same idiot, huh?**

'Just let me have this. After Kaguya, there were no medical nin capable of fixing my throat from the damage that remained.'

Kurama grumbled, 'no I don't blame you, it isn't your fault that she held me in that cosmic crap. That's on her.'

A cleared throat made him look at the dark skinned guy in green and black, who was looking at him with a raised brow added on to his perma-scowl. A thought crossed his mind making him fight a laugh, 'add a cowl with pointy ears, he'd make a great Batman. Think they study the same how-to-scowl book?'

**Idiot.**

Superman sighed, making Naruto look at her, "Kitsune, this is John Stewart. Prior service in the US Marines. Between his multiple combat tours and his long career as one of the Lanterns of sector 2814, he has seen some stuff. More than I have at least. He and his wife Shayera are combat experts and he asked to meet with you once you were awake."

"Your genetic code popped up on the Guardian's radar." The dark skinned man said shortly, as if that answered everything. Naruto looked at him, then at Superman and waited for them to continue. When no one offered an explanation, he simply stated he didn't know what that meant. Stewart sighed and held his ringed hand up with the sigil facing the shinobi, "they want a sample genetic signature. Just place your finger on the symbol of my ring and it will scan your dna structure."

"No."

"Excuse me? Perhaps you didn't hear me, the Guardian's of Oa need your genetic signature."

"One, I don't know who that is, two, I heard correctly and three, I still would say no even if I knew who the Guardian's are. I won't have someone playing kami and making clones like the hebi-kusotare."

 _"Japanese detected. Translation: snake shit face"_ **(add another AN for the road)**

"The Guardian's are a group of immortal beings that seemed themselves the best judges of the universe and forged the emotional energy of Willpower into a weapon, harnessed by rings, such as the one Stewart is wearing. There are six different primary energies with yellow, the color of Fear, and green, the color of Will. The wielders of these rings are known as green lanterns due to both the fact that they recharge their rings in a lantern and from the sigil on their chests. Their uniforms are entirely provided by said ring," came the deep voice behind the group. Turning, the black and grey suited form of Batman stalked toward their group, his scowl firmly fixed into place as he looked at the kryptonian, 

"You should have called when the refugee I'm sponsoring was brought to the watchtower. He should not be here."

"Well he's here now and I have a job to do, Batman" John interjected cooly.

The Bat turned to the lantern and the room suddenly felt cold, "the Guardian's are not absolute, and you were told no. Kitsune has broken no laws and has gone through every legal channel to become a citizen of earth. Thus you have no grounds to stand upon, Lantern. I suggest you leave."

"I am a founding member of the League unlike you Batman. If anyone should be leaving, it's you."

"Leave? A space station funded by my money? A station operated on my systems? Why should I be the one leaving when you are the one trespassing? You chose Oa over earth and thus are not wanted where earth's heroes work."

Two slender hands were placed firmly on either of their chests. One set belonged to a woman wearing a red leather corselet top with a bronze eagle with spread wings in the shape of two stacked W's sat covering her cleavage and tight blue pants. On her back was a shield that was as wide as the shoulders it rested on. On her hip was a shimmering tightly woven gold rope and the other, a sheathed hand and a half sword with a spread winged eagle with tightly wound red leather on the hilt, the pommel a circular piece of bronze with a star carved out of it. Her arms were bare except for the silver pair of vambraces that looked masterfully detailed, Naruto could see no chisel marks of any kind. On her crown, a silver tiara was set, holding her bangs out of her face. 

The other set was no less impressive: a toned woman sporting light green and canary yellow, her top was a V-neck that dipped into her breasts, displaying a hint of cleavage and displaying her midriff. One arm was armored in a vambrace and pauldron bronze combination with a leather glove with bronze talons affixed to it. The other arm was left bare, with naught but a platinum ring fitted with small emeralds positioned in the shape of the green lantern sigil. Her pants carried the same coloration as they led to articulate knee high armored boots that were molded into taloned high heels. On her head was a helm that just covered her eyes sculpted into the shape of a hawk's head, with the beak ending at the tip of her nose.

She too had weapons, though from the look of her, Naruto guessed she preferred offense over defense with a short one handed leaf bladed sword sheathed through a leather snap loop that hung firmly on her belt on one hip and a large mace on the other hanging from a leather loop attached at the pommel.

What caught his eye the most was the leather straps and metal that went around her rib cage and the large brown folded wings on her back.

Kurama pretty much said it all when Naruto observed the two warriors:

**Damn**

Superman floated in between the two glaring males and crossed her arms, "That is enough, I think."

"Um...have I missed something?"

"No, Kitsune. We need to repair your uniform and then you'll be returning to the case. I'll be having words with Fate about what he did that took you out of action later."

"W-wait! Naruto needs go-to be given an e-exam to make sure he's ready." The Hinata look alike stammered from where she had been forgotten. Mr. T also spoke up, "we could repair the suit here as well, Batman. I mean, since he's already here."

"Batman, we need to talk anyway. Reports suggest Ra's Al Ghul is active again. In three different cities." The red armored woman supplied in a soft fair voice.

"Fine. Kitsune, go with Mr. Terrific and Doctor Light. Notify Oracle when you're done." Batman turned, his movements practiced and coordinated, showing his martial prowess in simply walking. The black haired woman with red armor smiled at Naruto kindly before floating after the dark knight.

Superman turned back to Kitsune, "you going to be alright on your own? The watchtower is a large place. Even with T and Light, it's easy to get lost, Flash does it on a regular basis." She said, looking concerned.

"That's because Flash is scatterbrained and has a literal mile a second mind." Mr. Terrific said, placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder, the shorter shinobi looking at him before turning back to the kryptonian.

"It's ok, Titan. I'm never alone," he patted his stomach with a small smile.

"I'm sorry, Titan? Never alone?" The woman of steel asked in clear confusion.

"Titan, because calling you superman is long....and weird, no offense. You're strong and extremely powerful according to the records, and if pissed, fully capable of breaking a planet, and since you're not human, you're Titan. Two syllables easier to say."

Superman nodded, looking thoughtful. 

It was at this moment Naruto noticed the very very large window that somehow hadn't registered to him until now. The nebulas and galaxy's, the plethora of stars, the big cerulean orb with jade forms with topaz spots. His eyes widened as the answer to why he could feel no nature became apparent. He was in space. Suddenly there was confusion in the Hub as people rapidly began to swap spots and were Kitsune was standing, now stood a very, very confused Firestorm.

Superman blinked at this.

"Hey, you can't be up there!"

Looking around she saw what caused the outburst, Kitsune was standing, literally standing on the reinforced glass window. As she watched, he knelt down into a three point stance and looked through the viewing screen.

**Really makes you feel small, ne?**

'Yeah. It's so beautiful though. We really are in a new world. We've been here for a year now and it just hadn't fully sunk in, you know?'

**I gotcha. Your not alone though. Always got me and now that granddaughter of that old man of your's**

'Yeah. Time I start letting go of closed doors, I guess. What do you think we should do about Zetsu? I mean, we killed it, it came back. We locked it away, it came back. How do we make sure its it's gone?'

**…..I dont know, Kit. I honestly don't know**

* * *

  
  


The cops were still present in the Slaughter Swamp state park working on finding all the pieces of the teenager that had been mutilated that night. Unbeknownst to them, a large figure peered through the water near the thick underbrush, watching them trespass near the shore of his swamp. He had thought the warnings would be clear enough for people to stay away from his Swamp and leave him alone.

With a growl he turned, coming face to face with a strange inky thing with a sick smile,

**"Hello, Revenant."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1: the Prandtl–Glauert singularity- this is the cone that forms when something goes super sonic. From what I have read, it forms just before breaking the sound barrier but becomes further more apparent and distinct after. The speed the object moving at causes moisture in the air that is in the object's path to become compressed against the force of the speed until it is displaced forming the said cone. This effect appears in a lot of media, from asteroid doomsday movies to military dramas.
> 
> 2: hebi-kusotare- full disclosure, I hate using a language I'm not familiar with in my writings, I hate reading it in other's. Much as I loathe it, I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to write this scene without doing this. This said, anyone who is fluent in Japanese, or is descended/ hails from Japan, first: I formally apologize, as I understand it's quite the offensive slur from what I've read. Second: I would ask to be provided, if willing, a more accurate phrasing of "snake faced bastard" if at all possible.


	7. Born on a Monday part 3

Solomon Grundy,

Born on a Monday,

Christened on Tuesday,

Married on Wednesday,

Took ill on Thursday,

Grew worse on Friday,

Died on Saturday,

Buried on Sunday,

That was the end,

Of Solomon Grundy

* * *

In 1956, Cyrus Gold, was a wealthy businessman, popular with the community and friendly to the town's folk. Shrewd in the market, yet had his business opponents walk away with a smile and feeling like they had won something, hell he even introduced one of his opponents, a young Patrick Morgan Wayne to his future wife. He was kind to the local orphanages, he helped buy out the town debt, he helped raise a home for the needing. People liked him well enough that they were even asking him for help in political positions or for him to run for mayor, but he knew that politics wasn't his strong suit. He was a businessman through and through. 

Though for all the good he did, what is a man without his vices? Cyrus had the hunger for the touch carnal. He adored the feminine beauty, and would happily shell out money to his local….friend to bring some of his exotic delicacies. Oh yes, Cyrus loved and was loved by many.

However the good times, they don't last and the tale of Cyrus Gold had no happily ever after. When one of his regular business arrangements came up pregnant, he was more than willing, happy even, to help her. Even offered her his name which she took, relieved. The wedding was private, but everyone talked and wondered who the woman was, that she could win the heart of Gold. They were happy for a time and Cyrus welcomed his son into the world with a boisterous smile and a hearty laugh.

Her former boss however was livid, he had wanted everything Cyrus could bring to the table and to use the pregnancy to try and blackmail the Business man. For 4 years, the man hounded Cyrus making threats to expose his new wife for the whore she had been, and after having enough, Cyrus made a public statement, preached about how reformation was to be exalted and praised not decried and how his wife had come from low beginnings but now was amongst good standing. He left the stage to a standing applause. 

The night after his statement was where things went sour, his former friend had called him up and asked for a meeting. Talked about how Cyrus's words spoke to him and wanted to apologize in person. When Cyrus arrived at the meet, he was riddled with bullets before he even fully opened the door by the friend and six other men, dead before he hit the floor. 

They had wrapped the fellow in a tarp, tied cement bags to his feet and dropped him off at the swamp a few miles out of the outskirts of Gotham where the Wayne chemical plant dumped their by-product chemical wastes. 

The friend, let's face it, he was a pimp, was dragged before a judge the next week, fingered by the now widowed wife, but the other six were able to get away scott free as no one knew they helped. The wife immediately left after the trial, taking her son and the Gold wealth and fleeing town. With no body, people called foul for years, decrying the woman and how she ran away the only good man left who gave a damn, like hounds baying for blood. The Golden Years of Gotham had ended.

Patrick Wayne and his wife, Caroline **(made up name, no canon name given)** , fondly remembering the man who got them together and made their son, Thomas, a possibility, set about taking over all the charities in Gotham that had Gold blood in them as well as setting up more in his name. No one heard anything tied to the Gold name for years until the elder ex-convict friend turned preacher was found crushed beneath a large slab of stone under the cross. No culprit was found but the lingering stench of rot and decay remained in the church, forcing them to shut their doors. The church property was later sold and torn down, and with no graves, it was turned into an economic center for troubled youths. 

Meanwhile rumors began springing up around the swamp. People disappearing, some later found drowned or dismembered. The police believed the Mafia families were involved, the Mafia families blamed each other, but no one could ever pin it on anyone. Then it all stopped and went quiet. 

Urban legends began to grow tall. The headless boy, the voices in the mist, the lurching figure. They were all true, but no one knew that. No one knew that poor kind Cyrus Gold sunk deep in the swamp and that it was a natural spring of mystical energy corrupted by years of waste being dumped into it. No one knew that necrotic corrupted magically energy mutated Cyrus's body into a lumbering nine foot tall hulking creature of unstoppable strength that could only remember he was born on a Monday.

No one knew, or at least, no one believed. 

Then the magic users made themselves known. From Salem, Doctor Fate and Klarion the witch child, from New York, Giovanni and Sindella Zatara and their daughter Zatanna, from England, Jason Bloode and the demon Etrigan, in Jump City rose the half demon Rachel "Raven" Roth, all over the globe, magic was suddenly very much real and people began looking at urban legends closer.

But any who went near Slaughter Swamp was never heard from again. The government named the swamp a sanctuary and banned chemical dumping on the swamp, and eventually declared the swamp a state park, open to the populace. The urban legend drawing people in droves to the swamp, earning the state millions over the years, but they learned fast to close down for the night as people got attacked by the wild animals that called the place their home, or so they believed, not drinking from the local kool-aid as they called it. The state investigation chalked all the cases up to wild animals and pranksters. 

That was until the present day when they started seeing more and more evidence. A crushed Camaro and a girl who quite possibly would never walk again, a teenage boy ripped into bloody chunks, animals tossed into trees at the force of a hurricane was quite the cement in the case and this urban legend suddenly wasn't so unrealistic as they believed. Not when it was standing before them in plain as day view

With a shout of rage, a grey behemoth came down on a police car, crushing the engine into the ground. With a guttural roar, the monster threw an ambulance up and away, with the not so sleepy anymore driver screaming for help.

The police were quick to fire on the beast but this did little more than piss it off more, the impact of the rounds did little against its rock hard skin. It would swing its large meaty fist and nothing was left of a cop but a meaty mess that leaked blood. It would stomp and another cop would scream in agony as their legs became a puddle. The monstrosity would rip trees clean out of the ground and use it as a club, leaving more and more corpses along its bloody path. The beast grabbed, punched, kicked, ripped and tore through the state police force leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. A man with a golden helm stepping out of a gold glowing ankh had hit the monster with a spell but that made the mad revenant stronger, a sharp punch to the spell caster and the helm went flying, the bearer dead on the ground with half his torso gone, torn off from the force of the hit. 

A shout of "Titans, go!" drew the brute's attention as woman in a blue cloak tried to grab it in dark tendrils but again, the hulking mass just drew in the magic but luckily for the woman, a figure in a black bodysuit with a red bird symbol on his chest leapt in and tackled her away before its meaty mitts closed around her body.

There was a short lull in the carnage as the giant glared at the pair, breathing heavily. It didn't last long as a blue beam of waves and sound hit the figure, making it scream in pain and brought it down to its knees as it held its ears. An orange girl in purple armor flew down from above and punched the figure's jaw with tremendous force that went through the creature's body and into the ground causing it to crater and making the giant turn his head and stagger before quickly turning, roaring " **SOLOMON GRUNDY** " at her and back handing her across several miles of trees and open areas like a skipping stone. It then turned to the source of the blue beam, a dark skinned athlete with metal plating and glowing red and blue parts and picked the boy up and slammed him down hard enough to shake the nearby residential areas, shattering multiple pieces of machinery. The blue cloak wearing woman quickly stood back in it's way again and with four eyes glowing rage slapped the creature hard across the face, sending a ripple of magical energy across the area and driving the brute back, its feet digging grooves in the dirt. 

Little bladed projectiles hit the ground near his toes and exploded in a blinding white flash, causing the monster to cover its eyes in pain. It fought through it and struggled to find the blue woman, who decided this was an opportune moment to speak, "Azarath Metrion Zenth-URK!" 

A hand the size of a log truck's hubcap grabbed her by the leg and slammed her, hard on the ground thrice, before tossing her up and slinging the now broken sorcerer by the head into the oncoming yellow streak. The streak tripped over the thrown body, hit the ground at high speeds and bounced several times. they did not get back up. 

The figure snorted and turned to find the person in black with the red bird, who had vanished into the darkness.

* * *

Naruto clenched his fist in wonder at the fabric adorning his fingers, watching the claws extend and retract. The claws were serrated and could detach with thin threads extending from five spools near his elbow. The spools weren't large, but allowed him to swing the claws like a cat-o-nine tails whip. All controlled by the neural receptors made for the thought to text. He could control how far out he wanted them to go, how much force he wanted the claws to detach with. He could detach them hard enough to have them penetrate concrete and the reel on the spools were strong enough to pull him to the claws which would then click back into grooves on his fingers. He couldn't swing off tall buildings like Batman, but he could catch himself if he fell from one, since, with chakra, he could just jump from one building to the next. What made it cooler was that the entire glove and gauntlets were nano woven carbon fiber and chakra conductive metals! Naruto was as giddy as a kid in a candy store. His boots had been redesigned as well, with mechanisms that allowed the three detailed claws to extend like blades. The top, now nanoweave chakra fiber as well, was also insulted to protect him from electrical weapons like tasers and the like. The chest plate became a full torso armor,and was now segmented to allow him a better range of movement without losing protection. The cloth of the pants didn't see much change, though it did have padding in the more lethal areas, like around his femoral artery and his tenders. The soles of the boots were pegged with small cylinders of chakra metal with rubber molded around for traction. Rubber was not chakra conductive but instead repelling the energy, which would keep it to the cylinders if Naruto sent it out through his feet. 

His mask and cowl were still two pieces, but instead of the fox skull, he had a head piece that sat snug down to the tips of his nose and the base of his skull in the form of a dark orange fox's head with red slitted lenses set into the eyes. a black nano woven mask under that that covered his head completely leaving only his eyes exposed. The headpiece clicked firmly onto a fixture that came out of the chest piece that would guide itself with magnets and informative wires fed data into the lenses of the mask. 

On the pads of his fingertips were also recording devices, allowing him to listen to conversations through a wall and send the recordings to the cave. The complete suit had a functional stealth mode, though sharp eyes would still catch his shape in a brightly lit room, he activated this by molding his chakra to the plate that sat on his forehead (that had taken a lot of trial and error).

He could push a thought into the neural receptors and make the eyes glow dimly as well if he wanted the intimidating route. Over all, the headgear gave him the appearance of a snarling fox with dull matte orange vambraces and boots that gave no reflective surfaces to catch the eye.

Once the Hinata look alike had given him the a ok and her number in case he wanted to talk about the woman she looked like, he suited up for duty, bumped fists with Mr.T and shocked Oracle by _speaking_ his confirmation code. 

Which wasn't too soon as she needed able bodies to perform an evacuation of Slaughter Swamp and nearby areas while the heavy hitters tried to control the rampaging monster that was causing untold amounts of damage. She wanted him planetside as with his clones, he could speed the evacuation immensely. She hadn't heard from Nightwing since he made an emergency reinforcement call and she was worried. He also learned that Harley was in recovery from childbirth and that the child was a girl she named Lucille Delia Quinzel.

She connected his sensors to the network and patched him through to the coms of the leaguers on site and sent him running to the zeta platform.

* * *

In a quick flash of light, he was on the planet and could feel nature rushing to embrace the sage, the variant colors of the wild energies surging around him with the black rampant and raging and still refusing to join the other forces.

**This is new. Incoming!**

Naruto quickly jerked down into a crouch as superman or Titan, as Kitsune was calling her flew passed him head first into and through several trees. As fast as he could he summoned hundreds of shadow clones into existence and sent them to scour the area and evac any survivors before rushing after the fallen hero. A roar sounded off behind him, making him jump slightly as he reached the crater Titan had made landing, the dim glow of the fires behind him showing him all he needed to see. Blood. Kryptonian blood. Under a yellow star, kryptonians are notoriously hard to injure, as the solar radiation made them nigh impregnable, though certain radioactive gems and red solar energy can sap them of their strength, but magic? Magic was the worst offender. From the records Batman forced down his throat, the radiation of the crystals made a kryptonian's blood pigment, but there was no pigmentation here, just crimson and a rapidly swelling orbital socket. So magic. 

'Kurama, I need sage mode if you got it'

**Not sure if the energy of this world will let me, but I'll give it a shot. What about her?**

"Kitsune to Oracle. I got a downed kryptonian, what do I do?"

In the radio he could hear a shout and then a bunch of cursing

"Oracle to Kitsune, I can't pinpoint which marker you are with your clones active so try to make her…. Shit, I got her marker, sending manhunter to your location. Do not, I repeat, do not move. If this thing took down superman, we need Shazam. Magic for magic."

**Sage mode ready**

"People are getting hurt and you ask me to stand by."

"Kitsune, I've seen your max level of strength, you aren't on par with a kryptonian or anything strong enough to make one bleed. Do not fight that thing!"

'Feed it to me'

**Done**

Naruto blinked as the radio feed began to get staticky as he felt the power of nature pour into his body. Cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders, he took a runner's position and tensed his legs.

"Ki…...eh….do…….ght…K...Naru…!"

….

'Ready partner?'

**Heh, always ya knucklehead. Let's bring the boom**

'Boom deployed'

With a grin and a joyous laugh, he pushed off. Immediately he could feel the air trying to push him before parting out of his way as he flew toward the battle like an arrow shot from a bow. He could see the fight now: a large hulking giant in a frayed, torn, ragged suit blazer and slacks. He could see the ruined remains of a shirt that had once fitted his pale white chest. His hair was bone white, the keratin on his fingers and feet was blackish green and putrid looking. His fingers were trying to wrap around a struggling HawkWoman's neck and she was only, if barely, able to keep its thumb and forefinger from doing so. 

The force subsided and he tensed his other leg and with a hard push, regained the velocity and height. Cocking his arm back, he slammed his fist into the creature's face at near supersonic speeds, slinging the monster into the trees six feet away and off HawkWoman's throat. She began coughing hard and sputtering, staring at him dazed and dawning coherence. With a salute, he pushed off again toward the beast. A giant fist shot toward him following a shout of **"BORN ON A MONDAY!"** and hit him in the stomach, the force making his ribs groan even in sage mode and he felt one bend painfully but not break, as it pushed him up into the air. He thought quickly, HawkWoman was too close for a Rasenshuriken, maybe a simple fūton:Rasengan?

 **Could work. You noticed it when he hit you, right?**

'The black briefly connecting to us? Yeah, why?'

**Found it weird. Maybe ask one of the experts about it later.**

'If we make it out of this, sure. Let me do my thing'

Thrusting his hand out, a swirling vortex began to form in his palm, multiple whirling forms taking shape inside a blueish white shere. Twisting around in the air, he began to spin to create momentum and yelled out "Fūton!" before impact with the creature's back as it lumbered back toward HawkWoman "Rasengan!" 

The force he carried with the attack staggered the monster which began bellowing in pain as the sharp blades of wind and chakra cut and ground into him with a force that managed to push it further forward. With a pop, all the compressed power and winds blew out away from Kitsune and sliced along the creature's rear torso, ruining the blazer. Kicking off it's back, Naruto quickly noticed three things:

  1. A) he pissed it off
  2. B) it was regenerating



And finally 

  1. C) it was charging right at him



Thinking quickly, he shot a claw into a tree and pulled himself out of the charging beast then slashed out with his opposite hand, coating his claws with wind and slicing a good chunk off the thing's arm. It was strong, it could regenerate, but it seemed slow and dim. Maybe…

**That could work. Think you can do it fast enough?**

'We'll see, just gotta set it up and lure the big guy into place'

Tapping the storage seal on the side of his belt, a tri-pronged kunai poofed into his hand. With a jerk of his wrist it was embedded into the ground near his foot. The charging behemoth roared as it crashed out of the trees towards him. Another leap, a slash, and another missing lump of flesh was its reward as Naruto stabbed another kunai into a tree stump. It turned and roared at Naruto who threw another kunai making the beast jerk its head out of the way before growling at the fox themed hero. It bent over and ripped a tree stump out of the ground and through it at Naruto, who, as fast as he could, flashed to the tag of the kunai he just threw. He may not be as good at it as his father was, but he could happily say he was better than the rest of them at it (still making him last place with all of two people capable of it).

Quick as a whip, another kunai was planted and a fourth one thrown into the ground. Grundy was looking around for the shinobi kneeling behind it, on guard as this one, unlike the others, could hurt the revenant. Black thing said Grundy was invincible. Black thing lies. Grundy squish black thing later.

With a flick of his hands and a pull, he was in position and planted the fifth kunai. With another poof and a well aimed throw, he beaned the lu,being brute between the eyes with an unraveling scroll. Just as it touched the ground, lines and squiggles shot out to and between each of the five kunai and formed a near perfect pentagon. In the second it took for the lines to meet, Naruto jetted through hand signs, slammed his hands down and channeled chakra into the lines, lighting them up blue before he yelled out,

"Fūin! five point prison!"

In a bright flash of light the lines retracted into the scroll, pulling the revenant into it, the scroll hit the ground and the kunai crumbled into dust. Drained, Naruto sat back on his butt and watched the scroll warily, ready to jump into action at a moment's notice. After a few moments, he slowly and warily edged toward the scroll and tapped it with his foot, he didn't know if this thing could break out of a chakra enforced pocket dimension or not. 

When nothing happened, he bent down and began wrapping up the scroll, slowly and carefully winding it tightly before slapping a lock seal on the outside of it. Only someone with his chakra signature could even remove the tag and release the beast, and hopefully, the monster will find peace inside. Oh, he knew it was an animated corpse, he had felt no life from the creature, only rage at being disturbed and sadness that it couldn't be left alone and the energy he assumed was magic. It was kinda sad really, it had just wanted to be left to rest in peace, but perceived any who came near the shore as threats. And some of them were threats. Like the two women behind him holding swords to his chin.

"What did you do?" It was the red and blue armored one with the stars that he met earlier.

"Gave him what he wanted," he said, holding his hands up in a submissive manner.

"And what did you think that was?" HawkWoman asked, coming around to his front, her sword kept level at his throat.

"Isolation."

HawkWoman stopped and looked at him, "isolation? How could you possibly think it wanted isolation?"

"I was connected to nature. So was it. It was broadcasting hard through the black of nature. Every time I touched it, I could feel how it just wanted to be alone, to finally sleep in peace. The dead want to remain dead, HawkWoman."

"That thing was not dead, Kitsune, it was fully alive! Why would you even think that?!" The woman in stars yelled.

"Wonder Woman!"

Titan floated down to Kitsune's side, touched the blade and gently pushed them away from Naruto's neck. 

"Swamp-Thing confirms what he said. That was a being of the Rot. A dead being that soaked for decades in a corrupted Lazarus pit. Speaking of which, Kitsune, he's requested at your earliest convenience, you and miss Isley help him purify this area. Animal man said that essentially it was either a golem or a zombie since the Red wasn't connected to it nor the white of life. Now then, I understand you said you gave it the isolation it wanted, but I have to ask, how?"

"Honestly? I don't fully understand it myself, since I'm still studying the art. Basically, I created a chakra enforced translucent pocket dimension where he could see the spiral of the multiverse and never be bothered again. Unless you have my exact chakra signature, you won't be able to free him, summon him, call for him, etc, and he will forever sleep and eventually decompose and hopefully enter Kami-sama's judgement at peace." 

"You…..created a pocket….dimension."

"Yup."

"And...you don't fully…"

**I think you broke her. By the way, on your left, five meters. anger. Lots of it.**

Naruto quickly jerked his head to look, but in the gloom of the night, he couldn't see anything. He sighed, releasing sage mode and immediately feeling exhausted. Sage mode wasn't meant to be used for prolonged amounts of time, more just to feel nature's energy and finding peace. Using it in a continuous form left him drained. It also left him with a screaming Oracle now that its interference was gone. Now at least, he knew that it did that.

"-ammit Kitsune, come in! All his signals just vanished! How did he just vanish?!"

"Kitsune to Oracle." He said with a sigh.

"What. Happened. You went dark and now Superman is saying Shazam isn't needed"

"I contained the threat."

"How? You aren't strong enough for a threat of that level"

"Sage speed and the seal I invented."

"That tells me nothing!" She sighed, "are the titans alright?" 

"Calm down, Oracle. They're fine, I got them to the rendezvous point near where I flagged you from superman via clones and now have a clone at their location" a clone popped into existence and flashed away surprising the three heroines near him. 

Titan just sighed, "I really need to read that file." She muttered, causing the other two women to nod.

"I know Batman is glaring at me behind the computer screen, so let him know I'll have the report written up when I report in. Apparently sage mode creates interference to com signals. Sending out my clones to scour the area looking for more survivors though all leaguers are accounted for." Four hundred Kitsune clones, well three hundred and ninety-nine, after Wonder Woman squawked in surprise and cut one in half causing him to go up in smoke, poofed into existence and immediately spread out and searched the area. Three hundred and ninety-eight, that's the second time the Flash got tripped up on him. He scoured the entirety of the state park, and after not finding anyone else, dispelled his clones in groups to avoid the headache. Never once did the scroll holding Grundy leave his hand, nor did he learn who was watching the fight, he had been preoccupied by the com chatter to see with the air.

* * *

Grundy roared and struggled against the energy restraints before the world turned dark. Suddenly he could not feel the swamp or the ground, nor could he see the bug with the fox mask that he couldn't hit. What he did feel, finally, was quiet and peace. Confused looked around, the restraints releasing him as he turned, and what he saw left his undead jaw hanging. It was beautiful. Infinite earths spiraled in multiple streams in the endless void, a translucent blue wall between each spiral. He looked and saw how each spiral originated from a bright light, like a star. The spirals came out of the star at every possible angle, and new earths continuously joined a spiral. It was quiet, he was alone, and he was tired, so very tired.

Cyrus Gold finally shut his eyes and slept.

* * *

In the gloom of the swamp, Zetsu grit his teeth; He had planned for more destruction. The beast was supposed to cause a greater distraction so he could finish absorbing the magical energy of the Swamp, but the imbecile was taken down fast by the bane of his existence. Oh the mask did nothing to hide the idiot's identity, his chakra announced loudly who he was. With just a few blows traded, the sage had captured the revenant and removed it completely from play and all Zetsu's plans with it. This was concerning, that the fox was practicing fūinjutsu, as the Uzumaki were incredibly inventive with them, which was what made them feared before their ruination. That took three nations to accomplish, and even that hadn't fully erased the clan! He had spent years seeding the paranoia against the clan and they still persisted like cockroaches. His own mother, the rabbit goddess herself seemed unable to fully erase them as lo and behold, one remained and had begun to regain his strength, and now he was practicing fūinjutsu. How? This was troubling as seals could prevent him from manipulating events to his favor. There were only two survivors of the Elemental nations now and soon he would control the child.

* * *

The tribunal judgement of the bat had been nerve wracking, Nightwing was in intensive care on the watchtower after Grundy had thrown him through a tree, breaking three disks in his spine and four of his ribs, Robin was out with Batgirl at titan's tower and Alfred was up in the manor with Lucille. The patented Bat-glare, reinforced with the glare of Oracle, was fully focused on Kitsune, though Titan and Wonder Woman were there as well. He retold the sequence of events from start to finish, how he spoke to Montoya, how Fate had forced him to regain his speaking ability, his panic attack, and finally, how he had contained and locked away Grundy and searched for any remaining casualties. Batman asked questions which forced him to backtrack several times to explain things then asked questions that seemed to be asking the same thing from different angles. Titan pitched in in spots, explaining how she had arrived to provide back-up but was removed from the fight quickly and knocked unconscious, just as Wonder Woman had, though Wonder Woman had just been dazed and rushed back to the fight as fast as she could from where she had been thrown. From a distance, she had seen Kitsune tossed into the air and the swirling ball of energy he formed into the air. Wonder Woman critiqued his fighting style, calling it unorthodox and uncoordinated, but fast and he hit hard. She had felt the air displacement from the first blow. 

Batman finally nodded and his glare softened, "in a fight against an opponent you knew nothing about, you did better than most of our veteran leaguers. You quickly assessed the situation and had it contained. You completed the evacuation, evaluation, and execution completely. My only complaint is that you did not wait for backup: when fighting unknown, expect the unexpected. This said, good job." The Detective stated in a monotone. 

"Bruce, can I speak with you and Diana?" Titan stepped forward, giving Kitsune a small smile and a pat on the shoulder.

"I suppose. Kitsune, you have the night off. Go rest."

Naruto sighed tiredly and moved to the alcove where the mannequin stood for his uniform and began removing his hard gear, the fabric was put in a basket to be washed. With a little application of costume make-up, his facial scarring was hidden enough that he could hide it under his every day cotton mask.

He slowly made the trek up to the elevator, his ribs were still bruised and hurting, and entered, Titan was still animatedly talking to Batman with Wonder Woman standing nearby with her arms crossed and Oracle was coordinating a mission at the computer. He sighed and hit the button to go up.

* * *

  
  


Making sure no one was in the area, Naruto left the elevator and exited the hidden door behind the clock and walked out onto the grounds. Before heading straight to the guest house to his bed, he quickly stopped by his red roses and checked the soil. Finding it a bit dry, he wondered where Ivy was as she had taken to treating the flowers while he was busy and had eagerly volunteered to do so while he was on this mission. Shrugging, he figured he'd ask her about it later. Turning the water on to the sprinkler, he watched tiredly as the little heads popped up and started spraying the flowers and the hedges. 

Funnily enough one of the flowers screamed out in shock. He blinked watching the flowers before it hit him, when did flowers scream? He turned towards the sound and pain blossomed between his eyes and he head jerked back as another feminine grunt sounded. He pulled his head forward and looked. A very wet and very pissed off Harley stood before him shaking the hand she had apparently used to punch him. Her shirt had become quite see through due to the water and it was quite clear she wasn't wearing a bra. He looked her over, and for a woman who just gave birth, she was still quite skinny, unrealistically skinny and toned. His brows furrowed in confusion as he recalled Tsunade informing him of the changes a woman's body goes through during pregnancy and how their body will gain weight in the breasts and hips and compared notes to visual input. Two plus two didn't become four. He'd have to ask Bruce or Barbara about this later, since he wasn't a medical expert.

**Hey kit, she's talking to you.**

Oh right.

"...sunny day, nice and quiet and then some asshole turns on the damn water. You know how hard it was getting her to go to sleep? Huh? Do you?! Course ya don't cuz your an asshole! The hell is your problem?"

Actually looking at Quinzel, Naruto could easily admit she was incredibly attractive, full pouty lips, sky blue eyes and sunbeam blonde hair let down to her back. Kinda reminded him of Ino Yamanaka in a way, the energy she gives off. Kinda like how Nightwing reminded him of a friendlier Itachi. The energy they gave off just felt familiar and insanely similar.

Fingers snapped in front of his face, drawing him back to reality, "Hey! eyes up buster. What, never seen a pair a tits before? I'm talking to ya, the least ya can do is look me in the eyes you creep."

Ok, definitely Ino like.

"I wasn't staring at your tits, Quinn, I was comparing you to someone I used to know on my home world."

Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open, "I thought you couldn't talk. Like you had to do that sign thing."

"I did. I had a horrendous…..accident on my world and my throat didn't heal correctly. The medical staff with the Justice League fixed the damage and healed me."

Naruto hesitantly reached up and carefully pulled down his mask, revealing the scarring of his face. Harley's eyes widened further and her hands jumped to her mouth before she slowly reached one out to try and touch the skin. He tensed at the unexpected motion. Her fingertips were cool on the hot skin of his scar, but gentle.

"You know, I do have a psychology degree. If, you know, you need someone to talk to. I mean, it's not like I care about you or anything, just other than the doctor and Alfred now and then, I got no one to talk to. Ivy is busy working with Orchid and Swamp-Thing so, no one is really here, you know?" 

"To be honest, I haven't exactly spoken to anyone in a long time either, though for very different reasons, so that would be nice, you know?" He smiled, making the left side of his face look more like a grimace.

"So why'd you turn on the sprinkler anyways? You got me wet and not in the fun way."

Naruto blinked and blushed at the innuendo, half his face reddening. "Right. I turned on the hose to water the roses. Their soil was dry. Have you seen Ivy? She was supposed to water them."

"She got drug away by Orchid about some swamp deal." Ah, so that's what happened. Roses flourish better in a wetter warmer environment than Gotham which was saddening since the crimson, reds, and the yellows brought the yard to life, flowing together like flames of a fire when the winds blew through.

"Hey, Miss Quinzel,"

"Nah ah, Harley, Harls, or Lee, I ain't my mother, Fishcakes."

"It means maelstrom. My full name roughly translates to English, I think, to the 'maelstrom's swirling vortex', though my English isn't that great, you know?"

"Riiight, anyway fishcakes, you were gonna ask somn?"

"Yeah! Let me see the mark on your arm"

"Oh yeah! I was gonna ask you about dat! What does it do? I mean, I know it does somn, you teleported to dat knife the other day and it had the same markings."

"It's a seal, a technique of my home world, this one special to me though as it was made famous by my father, called it the Hiraishin, or the flying thunder god. In my species's body is a special system of energy we can use that we call chakra once we learn how to tap into it. These seals act as a sort of lightning rod to the person whose chakra is sealed into it, and if I send a feeler to connect with the chakra, I can move to it. My dad had a lightning affinity to his chakra so when he did it you're not understanding what I'm saying are you."

"Nope!" She giggled, " but dats ok, it's something you're passionate about and dats good for you."

"Basically if you're anywhere within my range which is a big distance, seeing as Robin is with the Teen titans right now in jump city and I can still feel his marker, I can pinpoint exactly where you are and move to you. It also works as a sort of alarm. If you spread a little bit of blood over the seal, it will start pinging me, letting me know you're in trouble. No matter where you are, I can get to you and get you to a safe spot."

Harley's jaw went slack as he explained this. To him, it was a simple and inconsequential gesture, but to her, this was monumentally ground shattering. She could be thrown into a vat of acid and he just said he would and was capable of getting to her and saving her like it was simple for him. In one sentence, all her worries were eased away and made smaller, No one had ever made that sort of gesture for her before. Oh she thought the Joker would, but he was more interested in his feud with Batman than the woman who willingly broke him out of prison, threw everything away for him, given everything to him, her love, her heart, her virginity. It dawned on her suddenly: just like everything else. she was a joke to him. Her eyes widened and tears built up in her eyes, all this time, she was his little joke and when she wasn't funny anymore, he would cast her away. 

"Hey, um, are you ok? Do I need to get you some mmph!" He was cut off as a teary eyed woman grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him hard and held him for a few moments before letting him go and running off into the guest house. 

He stood there for a few moments, shocked with a little nine tailed fox in his stomach snickering .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends the Born on a Monday arc. With a kiss and character interaction I just couldn't get to work until now. What happens next? You think I have a plan? It's anyone's guess! Next arc is something I've been wanting to start on for a while, the name will say it all


	8. Interlude: ballgown killer

**January, Four years after the attack on Slaughter swamp**

Carolyn Striegel was happy as could be, she had just got engaged to her long-time boyfriend just an hour ago, got a promotion to team leader at work four hours ago and had just got her income tax return filed. Her life was beautiful and she just couldn't keep a smile off her face as all the hard work finally paid off. Soon, she would convince her boyfriend to leave Gotham and transfer to one of the small town offices and settle down where no mask or criminal would bring danger to her life. Her entire life in Gotham seemed to go from one hell to another: she'd been held up in the bank she worked at, taken hostage, mugged, robbed, had her car stolen and blown up. Luckily her insurance covered that last one under the Wayne funded Batman clause. Why she was happy enough she could dance. She giggled and spun on a lamp pole humming "singing in the rain". As she walked home, through the dark park, late at night. She had watched her now fiance get into a taxi and ride off, he had gotten called in to a crime scene. Her future husband was a crime scene investigator, but she loved his dry humor and had been dating for five years now.

She was so happy, she forgot one of Gotham's most sacred unwritten rules: never go through the park after sundown.

She was quickly reminded as something hit her in the back hard enough to make her stumble and drop her purse. She tried to turn to see who threw something at her, but this burning agony tore through her stomach when she twisted to move. Looking down, she felt a cold numbness radiate through her as she saw the tip of a thin serrated knife sticking out of the left side of her jacket. Blood had already begun soaking through her white coat, her blood. With shaking hands, she felt around her back and felt the hilt of the dagger in her abdomen. Taking small steps, rightfully afraid of the person behind her, she saw a woman standing under the lamp she had just merrily spun on. The woman had incredibly disheveled hair, matted and tangled, pasty white pale skin coated with grime and dried blood. She was thin as can be, her skin drawn tight on her emaciated body hidden in a dirty, color faded pink ball gown. Her feet were covered with scrapes and her toenails long and chipped. But what scared Caroline the most, was the horrendous stretched cheshire grin on her face that seemed to split ear to ear under wide bloodshot eyes. She said nothing, did nothing, just stood there, head cocked to the side with the manic grin on her dirt cover face. Just watching Caroline.

Caroline slowly began to back up and move away, shaking her head as tears began to well up in her eyes, and the figure just watched on. Never moving, never making a sound. She turned to run but felt something else hit her back hard, sending her to the brick path. She already knew if she looked down, she'd see another wound, she looked over her shoulder and there was the figure, standing not a foot away from her, the moon forming a silver halo behind the woman. Air was displaced as the woman dropped to a crouch beside her and held a long bony finger to her grinning face. Caroline was cold, so very cold at this point, shivering in fear in the January night air. This was how she died, wasn't it? Not with a bang, but a whimper in the night. The figure drew up her horrid skirt, revealing knives taped to her thin spindly legs, and slowly pulled one off the tape, not even bothered by the skin she just cut. Pressing the tip into the pocket of Caroline's shoulder, as the woman repeated no's and shivered, she pushed with more force than her frame bellied.

With a scream of pain, the knife sunk through meat and into dirt. When Caroline screamed in pain, the figure's smile vanished and a look of intense loathing and hatred appeared on her face, a manic rage gleaming in her eye. She brought the knife up and slowly cut away the buttons on the crying woman's shirt, who tried to kick at the figure, but weak from fear and blood loss, couldn't put enough force in the kick to push the oddly strong figure away, who rewarded the girl with a knife that cut into the bone of her thigh evicting another screamed pain. Caroline knew she was about to die, the realization making her sobs harder as her shirt was opened, revealing a lacy black bra. 

The figure chittered, like some kind of bird, the anger on its grime covered face seemed to increase at the sight of her tanned skin and risque lingerie Caroline had planned to surprise her boyfriend with. She could tell the figure was growing restless, her bloodshot eyes flicking around like an animal looking for predators. She shut her eyes and was still crying when a knife was suddenly shoved through her neck and into the ground. 

She was so cold now. So cold. 

* * *

  
  


Marcus Lee was not having a good day. He had finally got up the courage to ask his long time girlfriend to marry him and planned a long walk on the pier where they were hosting the annual carnival, but work called him in. He arrived at the crime scene with his forensics kit to a grisly environment. Held to the wall by long ceremonial daggers, blades horizontal so the weight of the body was on the flat of the blades. Victim was a young woman, roughly twenty to twenty-five, healthy (other than the whole being dead thing). The victim's body was positioned like she was hanging from an inverted cross with a neck wound bleeding into her hair. Smeared in blood were the words "carpe diem" or "pluck/seize the day". Like the other six victims of the same murder style, she had an engagement ring, hardly any scratches. Must have been brand new. He began his work, carefully stepping around the pools of blood to set down his kit and open it. Grabbing the graphite dust, he quickly set to dusting the knives.

A throat was cleared beside him causing him to turn and look over his shoulder. A mask, great. This one had a fox mask and black/orange armor, behind him was someone who made his blood run cold upon recognizing: Harley Quinn. He flicked his eyes to the police who were watching her with their hands on their pistols.

Marcus had heard she was going to be under the careful watch of a government mask and Batman but it still was ill sitting that she was here. Her normal m.o. hardly was an outright killer, though she did have a body count, but evidence showed most of these were accidental or the culmination of the victim succumbing to their injuries and attributed to the Joker due to a mix of his m.o. and hers. Most she did was break the Joker out, make intimidating gestures, and work as an accomplice to the terrorist clown. It was really no surprise that she looked decidedly uncomfortable at the scene.

The fox-man knelt down beside him and lifted back the top part of his Halloween get up, revealing deep blue eyes that looked sadly over the victim,

"Her name was Allissa Daniels, twenty-three. Gotham U attendant in the field of veterinary science. Courses suggest she was aiming for a doctorate. Modus operandi suggests the serial killer known as "ball gown", fingerprints linking to an Anna Torrelis of Gotham, thirty-six" the mask said in a low quiet, sad voice. 

Marcus just stared at him; leave it to a mask to do his job for him. Shrugging, he stood up and tagged the knives and took pictures of the prints left on the knife. Pressing film to the dust to capture the index print, he noticed something poking out of the victims bra. With a pair of tweezers, he gently pulled out a photograph that turned his blood to ice. They had previously realized that the killer would leave pictures of the next victim but by the time they figured out who the next one was, it was too late. 

The picture and tweezers fell out of his hands as he stepped back in shock. That picture was just taken, it was a very recent event. Ripping off his gloves he pulled out his phone and began hastily searching through his contacts until he found her name, the call rang six times then went to voicemail. He tried again, tears pricking at his eyes. Again and again, he tried to get in touch with her, until finally the call went through, but it was muffled like something was pressing against the screen of her smartphone's microphone. He shouted her name into the phone, but heard nothing. The fox themed hero said something into his cowl, gave a nod to Harley and held his hand up, the claws on his fingers shot out and he was gone. Harley just walked to the wall, out of the way and sat down, looking over the scene in curiosity.

Marcus kept trying to get his girlfriend to answer when he heard the most ear shattering sound that freezes him to the core: A long scream of agony.

He drops his phone as he hits his knees with her name on his lips, "Caroline."

* * *

Oracle was quick to hack into Marcus's phone and trace the call, pinpointing the receiving end one the map at the center of Gotham Park. When Naruto arrived, the victim was still breathing, although extremely shallow and haltingly, twitches of movement on her fingertips. She did not have long, minutes maybe.

Quickly, he was beside her with five clones drawing stasis seals around her body as well as placing a sleep tag on her forehead to prevent her shock from getting worse. With a slap of his hand on the brickwork, he activated the seal, freezing anything inside the seal in time.

"Kitsune to Oracle, I need medical now! The victim is hanging by a hair's breadth from the edge. I've bought some time but you have until I run out of chakra to get me someone. Time seals are NOT the easiest to hold, so i have maybe twenty minutes. Thirty is I draw in sage mode. I have a clone preparing a counter seal so the medic won't be affected long enough to triage this girl, but hurry. Victim's name is Carolyn Striegel, blood type Ab negative. She's going to need a transfusion judging by the blood in the snow"

**Murderous intent, three oclock and coming in fast**

* * *

Marcus was sobbing over the picture of him and Carolyn as he sat in the back of a police cruiser when he felt a tentative hand tap softly on his arm. Looking up he saw Harley Quinn standing there looking awkward as can be, "um, Don't shoot the messenger?" She said, holding up her hands in surrender as Marcus leveled a heated glare at her.

"What?!" He hissed

"Kitsune, um, well he found Carolyn. She's alive but uh, she needed intensive medical help."

"She...she's alive?" He said, shocked to his core, that meant the killer was still near there and could finish the job. From the forensics he did, the killer was very thorough and wouldn't like one of her victims surviving and if Harley was here, Kitsune was alone. the guy wasn't Superman...was he?

"Yup, Foxy found her and called for her to be sent immediate aid. Listen, I ain't so good with this whole um comforting thing hero's are supposed ta do, I'm sure you know why. But um...well chin up, yeah?" She turned to walk away.

"Wait. You used to be a shrink in Arkham before the Joker got to you yeah? Look at the scene. What is the killer thinking? You've been in their shoes and know the minds of crazies."

Harley blinked and tilted her head, "well if tha's what you wanted why didn't you say so sooner? Foxy told ya already, it's a woman. If I had to guess a burned one too, seeing as she attacks women who jus got engaged, you know? Driving emotional points probably revolves around jealousy and need for attention; she sees women receive love and wants that happiness but can't have it so she acts out. Her attacks before the ending seem to target areas that are messy, but mostly painless but the one to the neck is where it seems to go wrong. My guess, one of three things happens: one: she gets bored and just finishes, enjoying the thrill of the hunt more than the actual kill, two: she gets paranoid and finishes the kill before hiding, finally three: the victim screams and she does it to shut them up. The ritualistic styling of the bodies is similar to the crucifixion of Saint Peter, hung on an inverted cross and pierced to bleed out, making me think she grew up in a catholic area or it's a call for attention ta the person who burned her, who could potentially be a catholic or possibly both. The photos she leaves behind could be really anything, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was her telling the man who burned her that it's his fault the victim died. I would also not be surprised if the first victim was someone close to this guy."

Marcus's jaw was left hanging as the cupid of crime switched into the professional tone of Dr Harleen Quinzell, reminding everyone listening that she wasn't really the dumb blonde she had played as when she was the Joker's whipping girl. Harley noticed the looks everyone was giving her, "what?"

* * *

Naruto ducked under a slash and back peddled. Unlike Grundy, this person was quicker and more agile than the slow revenant, making her harder to pin down without seriously hurting her. Oh, he could go sage and just simply grab her by the head but he wasn't fully accustomed to the energy of this world and hadn't learned the full potential of this mode yet. Since it brought new abilities, he needed more training with it than just relying on the strength and speed boost it supplies. 

He dodged another swipe and punched the thin wrist holding it, hitting the tendons and forcing her to let go of the dagger. She swiped with her cracked and chipped fingernails but was unable to get through the durable fabric of his suit but she followed through the momentum of the swing and used it to back hand him. Which caught her off guard as he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. She tilted her head, looking this was and that for him, but there was no sign of him. 

She turned before the ground exploded into smoke, blocking her vision and forcing her to cough. Something wrapped around her wrist, pulling it straight and away from her body. Confused and angry, she fought rabidly like a dog against its lead, feeling the binding cut into her joint. Another binding wrapped around her ankle and caused her to lose her balance. As she fell, she felt the bind on her ankle pulled tight and high, keeping her off the ground. With her free hand, she ripped a dagger from under her skirt and began swinging it at one of the blinds but was so awkwardly positioned, she couldn't get the bladed edge onto the cord holding her.

A third bind wrapped around her flailing hand and pulled it taut, causing her to drop her dagger again, the clatter ringing in the smoke. Her head was lolling around trying to peer through the thick smoke, unknown to her created by a mass of clones dispelling themselves, and kick out with her free leg at any shadow she saw. She was screaming from her exertions like a wild animal, pulling and fighting at her binding as they held three of her limbs tight. A pair of strong hands caught her flailing foot and looped the last bind to it, though this time, it was tied to her bound leg. One hand was freed but soon found itself bound like her feet, tightly and securely. The bindings holding her off the ground released, her arms and legs fastened together, a piece of paper was then slapped to her forehead, and she only knew darkness.

**(Ok, if you've seen it, and I understand some haven't, I was trying to bring a similar reaction from ATLA, when Azula has that break down toward the end after Zuko did the thing to life here. Left vague cause spoilers. If you've seen it, you're probably picking up on what the Pebble is putting down, if you haven't, the show is on Netflixis and is possibly one of the best American animation in the last decade. Its sequel…...not so much.)**

* * *

Kitsune held the seal as his clones dealt with whatever was radiating malicious intent, though he was beginning to sweat. He didnt know how much longer he could power the seal and was pouring everything he could with the women's life on the line. After what felt like an hour, but was really only six minutes since the call, a vortex opened and out stepped doctors midnight and light. His clone quickly handed them the counter seals and informed them the purpose and they set to work, quickly putting bindings on the woman and after some conversations (read ordering) a female green lantern with pink skin appeared. Creating a bubble around the group and the topmost layer of dirt they were on, so as to not break the seal, she quickly lifted naruto, the woman, and doctor light off of the earth and towards Gotham general hospital with Midnight beaming there to get everything prepped. 

When they landed, they began moving quickly. They were able to get a large operating room setup, hiraishin the victim into the room via clone, and as quickly as possible start pumping blood into other veins as the stasis seal effects broke, leaving gawking paramedics. 

A quick call to Harley had her and the fiance rushing into the waiting room twenty minutes later along with a police officer who took their statements and called in a pick up for the trussed up killer who was quickly moved to an Arkham cell to await trial.

Naruto was plain exhausted and was sagging in his chair when Batman and Titan arrived. Titan was quick to give him a smile but Batman just did Batman.

A pulse of chakra immediately sobered Naruto. Something was immensely wrong and Mirai wasn't at the manor where she was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note: ok this chapter fought me and I couldn't get the scene to work. Sorry about the cliffy


	9. Who's this kid?

Naruto immediately tried to call Mirai, but he got no answer and when he jumped to the kunai she was to carry at all times, he found himself at the docks confused and now extremely worried. The fact that she wasn't near the beaded tool meant it was either stolen and discarded or worse. 

"Kitsune to Oracle."

_"What is it?"_

"Ask Overwatch to do me a favor and look in on Mirai. I'm currently standing by her marker, at the docks."

 _"That is worrying_ , _Overwatch is going now. Have you tried calling her phone?"_

Naruto knelt down to run his hands on the concrete with squinted eyes, "that was the first thing I did. Five times and voicemail."

_"She isn't in her room, nor the HQ. Give me a minute, and I'll look through the security feed."_

"Please hurry."

'Kurama, get me sage energy please?'

**On it kit. Give me a few moments.**

Naruto pressed the kunai into a seal on his left hip, causing the kunai to disappear with a puff of smoke.

Taking a deep breath with his mouth open, he tasted the scents in the air. The putrid dirty feeling of Gotham Bay almost making him gag. He could smell Mirai's conditioner under the filth, the tart sharpness of strawberries and the sweet milky vanilla like smell of cream, not distinct if you don't know it, but easy enough to find if you have it memorized.

**Feeding you sage now**

'Thanks partner'

**Whatever, just find the munchkin**

Immediately he used air sight and followed the scent. Air sight was odd and disconcerting to use as he was literally seeing via the energy of the air; a definitive out of body experience. He could see himself with his eyes closed, crouching in a three point stance surrounded by scents visible in the hues of green and brown with some disturbing black of Rot lingering. This was why he didn't use this ability often, as it left him exposed and defenseless. He willed a bunshin into existence to guard his body as he looked around for the scent of the conditioner, its hue a slight milky green since the company used only natural products. 

He focused on it, following it from the branching of the scent to seal on his hip to her room at the manor, back and following it down the pier to a warehouse towards the end. Vibrations in the air informed him people were speaking. He spread his awareness over the building, noting the seven bodies knelt in the rafters of the warehouse, the two at the bay doors, one on the roof and four on the floor. One of the ones on the floor was laid down and radiated the milky green hue, a small figure stood by her, a dull grey of metal surrounded it. It was the bright green in the tallest figure that caught his attention the most, it was like looking at a green sun.

Questions were coming to Naruto, he knew he wasn't smart like Batmanm Robin, or Shikamaru, but he wasn't dumb. He had placed alert seal matrices all along the manor border, creating a bubble that would alert him to any intrusion, and in the direct middle a seal that attracted natural chakra, making the plants more vibrant as well as allowing him or any clone to jump to anywhere within the seal so he could move immediately to the trespasser, which made him wonder: how did they were able to get in without his knowledge? Even instant teleportation would alert him as it left a residue.

After the body count, he returned his consciousness to his body and dropped out of sage mode to contact Oracle.

 _"You know, I really hate that sage mode of yours,"_ Oracle began after he chimed in.

"I know. You tell me every time I use it. I think I found her, but I don't know how they got to her room without alerting me. I have the entire manor covered with a seal so something should have set it off. It was only the ping of the kunai being dropped that made me aware of this. Tell Batman I might need some help, there is a figure that glows like a green light bulb in airsight and I don't know what that means exactly."

_"Gotcha. Could you make out any details?"_

"Dark clothing reeking of oil, metal, and sweat. I counted sixteen of them in total, Looks like they're planning for an ambush for whoever comes in at the ground level."

_"Try to get a visual of one of them"_

Using his claws, he repelled up a warehouse, trying to keep low, even though he had his suit's camouflage activated. While his suit mitigated line of sight, it did nothing for his heat signature so he pressed low to the roof and peered over the warehouse roof's pinnacle and switched his visor's camera to pick up the phosphors in the air, turning the world green. With a click to one of the buttons shaped as a whisker, he zoomed in on the sentry stationed at the top of the warehouse he saw in Airsight.

A curse echoed on the coms,

 _"As if our problems weren't bad enough. League of Shadows. A mercenary assassin organization bent on rebirthing the world in their image."_ Came the voice of Nightwing over the radio.

"Protocol?"

_"There isn't one really, we used to just take out their top and work down. Ra's al Ghul uses diplomatic immunity to get away and with no evidence to any of his crimes, makes us look like we're attacking an emissary. Plus, given the fact that the Lazarus pits made him bat shit, he has been trying to get Batman to take over as the new demon."_

"I see. Would clones work? I am a one man army, after all."

_"Can you do it quietly?"_

"Yes."

The gruff voice of the bat interrupted, _"then consider this a test. If you can get Mirai out of the warehouse safely without the league noticing you, I will put your name forward to join the JL International. If you fail, I will take your mask away until I am sure you're ready to try something like this again. Sink or swim, Kitsune. I'm watching."_

Kitsune was stunned for a second before a grin stretched across his mouth. Batman was giving him a challenge, who was he to disappoint? 

* * *

The first sentry was extremely easy, with the night air, the minimum lighting and his camouflage suit, he had the sentry in a rear blood choke, his bicep and forearm pressed hard into the jugular of the shadow as he was lifted off his feet. Kitsune covered the shadow's mouth firmly and held him still with a clone until he was unconscious, then marked the shadow with a hiraishin matrix behind the man's knee. He quietly lifted the skylight enough to peer into the room.

Whoever taught these guys needed to be retrained, as with a simple glance, he saw all seven in the rafters easy. Slowly and silently, he applied the hiraishin matrix tag to the inside of the roof and flashed to it, clinging to the surface and allowing himself to readjust. He really didn't know how Minato was able to flash three to five hundred times in the breadth of a minute, it was so confusing. Once he regained his bearings, he created eighteen clones (he had tried for seven) without the residual smoke and quietly. Facepalming, the sent two to position above the shadows and counting on his hands. When the last finger dropped, all seven were unconscious and bound via ninja wire to the support beams. He looked down into the room and studied it, looking for easy ways to descend and not give away his presence. A tied up bundle was in the center of the floor where a man with gray hair and a regal green robe stood over it. Now that he was closer, he could smell Mirai a lot better, though the smell coming off the elder man was curious as well. It was like sulfur, but not as pungent. He saw no other bodies other than the four he'd already made with Airsight, so slowly and quietly, he went down the rear wall and edged around in the darkness, still hidden in camo mode. How was he going to take the elder and the woman out? To the untrained eye, she looked like she had no weapons on her body, but having dealt with people like Haku, Anko, and Shizune, he knew there were places on a woman's body that could easily hide fatal instruments, well feminine bodies, after all Haku was a dude. A very pretty dude. With a very nice ass. Hey, Naruto was allowed to be observant. He blamed Jiraiya and Kakashi.

Looking up, he gave anbu signals to his clones and began counting down.

Three...two...one.

Hiraishin tags were dropped, wrapped around thin senbon made, making very very little noise on the soft gravel floor. He was about to move when the boy in an arrogant voice, spoke,

"When is the Bat going to arrive? I thought you said that father was a great detective." The boy whined loudly.

"Be silent Damian and be ready. The girl was from his manor, probably a new stray of his, and it was much more difficult getting in this time. He will be here. After all, Batman can't help but appear for those he loves. Your father, like any hero, is a soft hearted fool."

"Silence, both of you. The one who made those seals, while no master, wasn't some rookie. The Great Detective is probably already in this room already."

"But Grandfather"

"The Demon has spoken."

Something landed on Kitsune's shoulder and immediately he was tense and about to turn when a mirror was held in front of his face. The Batman was standing behind him with his finger over his mouth. When Kitsune gave him a nod, he slid his thumb halfway across his cheek and a slightly raised thumbs up.

_Test over, pass with flaws._

Kitsune tapped his ear and pointed at the impatient boy

_Did you hear what they said?_

Batman nodded, and made a gesture to the clones above them then at the boy and woman.

_How quickly can you subdue them?_

Kitsune pointed at the boy, scratched his knee, then at the woman and shrugged.

_The boy will be simple, woman don't know_

Batman circled the palm of his gloves and pointed at the door.

_Can you separate them and get them away?_

Kitsune nodded and Batman held up three fingers.

"Do you think he already knows the girl isn't here?" The boy said aloud.

The three fingers immediately became the halt sign.

"I said silence, boy! If he was already in the room, you would have just given everything away!"

Naruto was shaking. If Mirai wasn't here, he had no way to find her. He had colossally failed as her guardian!

Batman put his hand on Kitsune's shoulder padding again and gestured,

_We'll find her, plan resumes_

Kitsune nodded and got ready. When the last finger fell and the signal dropped six clones dropped down, grabbed the woman and child and flashed away, leaving the elder man with a raised eyebrow.

"This is certainly new. Hmm fox themed? Is this the new Kitsune I've been hearing about? The supposed government agent you are helping recover, detective? Or is it your new security team you hired to protect yourself? Perhaps a bit of column A and a bit of column B?"

* * *

The grandson of the Demon did not scream. He didn't. Nor did he piss himself.

His feet were bound together as were his hands. Tightly with absolutely no wiggle room.

"Where?" a guttural growl came from the figure that grabbed him.

He tried to act brave, but when the man literally standing on the wall ripped off the fox themed mask and revealed blazing red eyes, glowing with barely restrained power, the smell of urine was not unnoticeable in the night air. 

* * *

The audacity of this man to grab her like he did then bind her in a very intricate shibari tie left her speechless. She was proud of her body, it left peasants drooling on the sidewalk as she walked by, but this? This was outrageous. In a blink of an eye, the proud assassin that she was, was trussed up like a Christmas hen, stripped of all clothing and hung from a flagpole like some form of lewd degenerate artwork. There was even a gag in her mouth! Sure, she kept a LOT of hidden weapons on her person, but to be stripped of all of her clothes and bound up immobile? Smart? yes. Dignifying? Absolutely not! There was a very noticeable breeze where she should not have a breeze! 

She was the Chesire! she left victims either dead or wishing they were. And where was her assailant you might be wondering? Two feet below her. Standing on the wall. Defying gravity. Oh, Jade Nguyen was beyond pissed.

The man removed part of his mask, "you were mistaken, calling that man a Demon, he is but a human. Long lived, yes, but still human. Would you like to meet a real one?"

She scoffed, as if this puny worm knew anything about demons. Her anger quickly turned to fear as those burning scarlet eyes looked up at her and unnatural pressure hit her with the force of a freight train. Immediately, she saw her death at the hands of this man, lived through every second of it as he slowly pushed his claws into her ribs and removed her heart, slowly breaking her ribs in the process. She saw how the monster made a vertical cut along her windpipe and pulled her tongue out under her jaw, letting her suffocate on her saliva and blood. His burning eyes were all she could see as he forced his hand through her abdominal cavity and out her mouth and threaded her like a needle with her only child's intestines. 

She fought hard against her restraints, the metal fibers roughly pressing against her skin. Then the eyes changed. They took on a multitude of colors and the pressure increased tenfold. 

Kitsune moved to the side as the woman collapsed in her bonds and pissed herself. All he did was hit her with some killing intent, he was still pants at genjutsu. Kurama's killing intent mixed with his own actually. Could humans not do this?

When she opened her eyes, the monster was still there, burning, hate filled red eyes looked back at her. Like they could see her soul. There she was, tied to a flagpole several stories in the air, without a shred of clothes on her, no weapons on her being and she had the attention of a real supernatural monster. In short, she was afraid. She was very afraid. Also cold. The metal fibers did nothing to hold warmth and she was held in the high Gotham air in January. It was cold. 

" **Now you know what it means to be in the presence of your better, don't you, little girl?"** Ok, he asked Kurama for lines, sue him, **"that man you were with, why most he could do is damage your flesh and body, but me? I can touch your soul"** to prove this, the monster touched her forehead with a claw and sent chakra down her spine, and she screamed. 

Pain like she had never felt before. It was so indescribable in its intensity, like fire or lightning coursing through her very being. It felt like she was being torn apart, burned from the inside, stabbed with knives, and all he did was touch her forehead. She was sure someone was screaming but she didn't know who, her mind couldn't perceive the source. 

When he removed his finger, she hung loosely again in the wiring holding her, she tried valiantly to look at him, but she could focus her eyes nor could she lift her head. Well, she couldn't, but the demon could. He lifted her head with a finger and looked at her with scorn and rage in his eyes, **"I'm only going to ask once, little girl and you're going to answer me. If you tell me, I might let you live. Don't, and I will make you suffer in ways your kind dreams of producing."** The gag was removed from her mouth, revealing they had been her undergarments, balled up and shoved into her mouth. 

Kitsune hadn't really thought chakra massage techniques could be used for interrogation but Kurama had insisted though it was clear he still needed control. He probably would never be able to use it for its actual intended purpose, but it seems... God enough for now, seeing as it was apparently working. The woman had hung her head, defeated. 

Come to Gotham they said, you'll see Batman they said. She was a queen amongst her people, second only to the Immortal Demon and his family, A high ranking lieutenant of the shadows. Here, she was nothing, held hostage by a real demon who could cause her more pain than anything her father had tried to do to her.

**"Where is my daughter, Jade?"**

It knew her name. Of course it knew her name. They kidnapped what they thought was stray to lure Batman but instead pissed off a literal demon. She couldn't tell him though, she had to remain strong. There was no telling what her father would do to her daughter. What he would do to Artemis.

"Ah, so Hamilton street with your sister. A condo, tsk tsk. You do like living fancy. You, a woman no better than a beggar, spoiling yourself like you're some sort of goddess. Well, now we see what you really are, don't we? Dirt. Filth not even worthy of clinging to my boots. I suppose I could let you live, assuming my daughter is safe, but know this little girl, the next time you even think about touching my little girl, I'll be there when you have that thought. I'll be in your room, standing behind you. There is nowhere you can hide from me. Nowhere you could ever possibly run as I'll just be around the corner and this?" He gestures to her, "this will look like a spa date in comparison to what I'll do." He tapped her forehead and all was dark

* * *

  
  


After his clones had popped, one taking Jade to the police station, clothed of course, though he got rid of every weapon she had on her, including in the hidden pockets, down to even the lint in her pockets, kept the mask though. Souvenir. The boy was securely bound and placed in the manor kitchen for further interrogation, since the child actually believed he was the son of the Bat so he'd leave that mess with Bruce. After he'd gotten done making the boy piss himself and got the information from the clones, he headed to the direction of the Hamilton street hotel, one of the Falcone buildings. In the unfinished building opposite the hotel, he saw a younger girl who looked remarkably like Jade, though her hair was blonde and longer looking out the fifth floor. She was standing by one of the lights pointed up at the floor's ceiling, shedding bright lights all around her area, in an orange and black costume that did little to hide from the imagination, though unlike his, hers seemed more cat based. Tied to a chair and gagged was Mirai, a heavy bruise forming on her temple. A spike of rage overtook him before he took a breath.

Activating sage mode, he used Airsight and saw the four men hidden behind false walls like rank amateurs. Applying wind to a tri-pronged kunai, he threw it at the generator. With a lot more force than intended in his anger, causing the blade to go through the generator, through concrete and rebar, through the flooring, through the ceiling of the subway tunnel and get lodged in a power box, killing power to the whole grid.

Instantly, the five were on guard and looking for him, the blonde woman stepping behind Mirai. Well, he had wanted darkness.

Creating clones, he threw himself at the first guy who had separated from the group, using him as a momentum stopper. When he tried to get back up, he got a five fingered reward to the temple and hung upside down off the ledge of the building wrapped in paracord. The second guy he got had gone to find the first one, grumbling about how it was taking too long to piss. He was quickly taken down by a throat chop and his face slammed into the concrete wall. He soon joined his buddy in time out.

He peeked around the corner of the wall, immediately pulling his head back as a crossbow bolt flew by where his head was. Quickly, he jumped to the ceiling and moved away, taking cover behind a pillar. He could see flashlights and head beams and could have scoffed. These were supposed to be the elite assassins? Genin were better at stealth than they were. He jumped off the pillar and over the edge of the floor, catching the underside of the concrete layer and using his momentum to fix his feet to the surface. As fast and as quietly as he could, he moved to the opposite side and slowly peered over the edge. The woman in orange was facing away from him and the others were gone, probably scouring the other floors. He pulled himself up and over, slowly and carefully so as to not make a sound as he stalked carefully behind the woman.

She had her crossbow held up and was watching the entrance carefully, watching for the human vigilante she expected and not the chakra power house of a shinobi she got. A noise caught her attention and she turned quickly and released a bolt hitting only the metal girder and bouncing off, skittering across the floor. Gotham was making her jumpy.

When she turned she saw the most ominously terrifying sight. A large shadow with burning crimson eyes that glowed brightly in the dark. Less than a foot from her face. She didn't move fast enough as a hard clawed hand covered her face and her world exploded into pain and stars as her head slammed into the concrete wall. She tried to hold onto her grip to consciousness, but when stone hard knuckles hit her cheek, she was out.

The other two took less time, they stayed together when their heads collided together and were still together when they were hung upside down by their comrades. Kitsune returned to the chair that held Mirai and cut the tape holding her to the chair and held her tightly. With a flash he was in Mirai's room and setting her down on her bed.

"Kitsune to Oracle. I have her. She's safe."

_"That's great and all, but what's up with the annoyance you left tied up in the kitchen?"_

"Claims he's Bruce's son by someone named Talia Al Ghul. This whole situation was to draw Bruce out so that Ra's could introduce the pair and Bruce take over the boy's training. Or so he says. The girl, Jade Nguyen was harder to break. Side note, Artemis needed an extraction. Ra's knew she was feeding the JL information and planned on her having an accident soon. One of the men she was with, was assigned the task and was supposed to take the shot after Bat found Mirai. She's secure as well and banged up cause I had to make it look real."

_"Make what look real?"_

"Her being taken by the demon fox of Gotham."

_"Demon...fox….what?"_

"Oracle, do some research on the myths about kitsune in this world. There is a plethora of reasons I chose this for my code name"

_"Answer me this, was Mirai in any real danger?"_

"Hell I don't know. As i said, from what i got from Jade and the boy, they had planned on the Bat finding her. If Ra's planned differently, he kept the cards close to his chest. Now, were you able to figure out their point of entry? I would like to fix the seal so they can't get in again."

He pulled off a gauntlet glove and bit his thumb, before starting to write out the hiraishin matrix on Mirai's side in his blood. With a quick flash of chakra, the seal receded into the kanji.

_"Sadly, no. The cameras didn't pick them up at all"_

Well that was fantuckingfastic. He'll have to redo the whole seal matrix then. He'll have to get Alfred to order a lot of pizza because he was going to be drained like no one's business. He quickly pit security seals along the window and door threshold to alert him if someone entered Mirai's room without him knowing. He also slapped a lock seal on the door as well, with the intent to remove it in the morning for exercise drills and training. 

Descending into the cave was a weird event. Sitting on the floor was a tied up boy in white clothing and black hair. Leaning against stalagmite was a still injured Nightwing, who's back still hadn't fully recovered from Grundy, sitting on an infirmary gurney was Robin, who looked noticeably sour, and at the computer was Barbara Gordon, aka Oracle. Her long red hair always reminded him of his mother's hair. Same temper too. The batarangs she threw at him when he called her a tomato were a little _too_ precise and took serious dodging. Her teched out chair hardly made a noise as it glided across the ground to another keyboard. Years ago, the Joker sought her civilian id out in an attempt to drive the commissioner insane from "one bad day". He wasn't given all the details, but their looks said it all. After the Joker shot her, he had held her down and taken her against her will, all the while photographing everything. The shot left her paralyzed below the spinal disk the bullet hit, but she adapted to that quickly. The psychological problems were not so easily dealt with. Harley had learned about the event and prostrated herself on the floor, afraid that the redhead would blame her or worse, her daughter.

When asked if either were the one who pulled the trigger, Harley had said no, and Barbara told her to lift her head then. She wasn't going to blame a woman who was in college when it happened, let alone a newborn baby.

He stepped off the platform and walked into the cave, eyeballing the boy who was returning the favor.

"We got a name for mini-me here?" He asked Nightwing (both he and Kurama loved the Austin powers movies) 

"Says his name is Damian, but we can't find him on any database. Ran a Paternity test with the DNA we have on record for Bruce and he _is_ his illegitimate son. Bruce said to hold him here until he got back. Ra's managed to get away. Any chance you could tell us where you stashed Arty?" 

"Easily. Stephanie's room. She sleeps in Tim's room," a squawk came from over by the infirmary, "all the time so no one would ever find the girl there."

Nightwing nodded and his voice got softer, "how's the kid?"

"Asleep and in a completely sealed room. I marked her so if she's taken again, I can easily find her and get there."

The boy wonder nodded again and Kitsune walked over to the beat and sat down in front of him.

The boy's soft features scrunched up and he scooted away making Naruto laugh softly. Removing the fox head, he set it to the side and looked at the boy with his own eyes, noting the wiry muscles, the calloused hands and tensed shoulders. He expected an attack. Nodding, he stood, walked five feet away and turned to face the boy.

"Attack me" he said simply.

Nightwing immediately began to protest but that was stopped by a look from naruto that just said "humor me"

The boy, Damian furrowed his brows. 

"Are you afraid of me, child? If so, abandon your fear. Look forward. Move forward and never stop. You'll age if you pull back. You'll die if you hesitate." Naruto said as he crossed his hands behind his back.

"Who are you? First you're the nightmare my grandfather warned me about, now you're trying to make me less afraid."

"When we met, you were my opponent and were keeping me from my daughter, child, which is not a safe place to be as you and Miss Nguyen discovered. You attempted to take what is most precious to me, which makes **me very unhappy.** " His voice deepened as his blue eyes bleed red. The air in the cave stilled and grew heavy in its pressure.

Then just as quickly the pressure was gone and his eyes were blue again.

"Now, attack me. If you are who you claim, this will be your legacy to continue. As I am paid to protect this family, it is my job to make sure you can contribute."

"I have trained since before I could walk to kill. I can take down anyone here!" Damian exclaimed.

"Then take me down child" "no, me!" "Over here!" "Salty pretzels!" "Hit me" "I like frilly pi-" poof.

Damian stood wide eyed as he was surrounded by twenty copies of the one person. In concert they all said as one,

"You claim to be the son of the Bat. The Bat is thus far the only human to beat us. Not your grandfather, not your mother, none of those shoddily trained shinobi wannabes in the league of assassins. We took them down faster then they could realize we were there, we were able to take you and the Cheshire out from under your grandfather's nose and he didn't feel our presence. Our first week in this realm, the Bat made us, observed us, and finally approached us after a month. You claim to be his son, to be capable? Then show" all the clones shimmered out of existence as their chakra returned to Kitsune who still hadn't moved, his hands still clasped behind his back, "me. Abandon your fear, Damian Al Ghul, look forward. Move forward and never stop as you'll age if you pull back. You'll die if you hesitate."

Damian was struck silent before he ran forward and swung a quick jab at the bottom of his sternum, the xiphoid process, a possible lethal shot, but his fitting was off, which allowed naruto to heel slap the boy's foot as he stepped into the punch and knocked the boy off balance. A possibly lethal move, though used mostly for incapacitation. The boy caught himself on his hands and flipped his feet up for a heel kick to Naruto's chin. Again Naruto simply unbalanced the boy by toeing his elbow. He could see the pattern, the boy relies on momentum for his attacks, using the centrifugal force to add more weight to his blows, take out the rotation, you'll take out the power of the swing. Simple, incredibly telegraphed, and easily undone. In short, he needs work.

Naruto caught the kick aimed for his knee and lifted the boy off the ground by his ankle, "I see. To an untrained individual, that style would have been adequate. Simply catching Tim off guard doesn't make you his better or a better fighter than any here. You fight slow, sloppy and telegraphed. Nightwing, due to my strength it would be unfair for me to test his defense. Do you mind?"

Nightwing shook his head and shoved off the rock formation. "I got nothing better to do. Not while Babs is busy at least."

Nightwing dropped into a loose aikido stance and Naruto simply dropped Damian. 

In his best Alfred impression, which was apparently good enough to make Tim jump and Barbara to look back, he said, "Do hold back, Master Grayson. We don't need you hurting the child."

Nightwing grinned and rushed the boy, who brought up his guard expecting a cross punch, instead what he got was a heel to the back of the head when Nightwing flipped over him and rolled. Stopping himself on the balls of his hands, he used Damian's tactic against him, using the momentum to sweep the boy's legs out from under him. Naruto could see where the boy had issues, he was too stiff, clearly unused to being on defense, probably preferring to be solely offensive. He had the right build for it, perhaps the duckbutt clan's style, the interceptor fist? He would discuss it with Bruce first since The man had shown interest in learning the styles of the Shinobi home, some secrets just needed to be shared so they didn't die.

"Nightwing, that's enough. I have an idea where to begin. What say you, Batman? As his father it is your decision, should I train your son or would you prefer the honor yourself?" 

Nightwing simply caught his kick before it hit the child's stomach, he hadn't even been close to going all out, simply slapping really, but he could point out several flaws from his viewpoint as well. He went to stand by the stalagmite where he was earlier and watched.

Batman stood there silently for a moment before speaking, "the league taught you to be a paper cannon and poorly. We will fix that. Naruto, Artemis tells me you extracted her and why, meaning not only did you find your daughter, but you saved a life. You infiltrated the warehouse capably and exfiltrated cleanly. I'll inform…...Titan of your admission under my sponsorship to the JL. As to the training, the boy wishes to join our crusade? He needs work to undo everything the league taught him, his form was sloppy at best and he has little to no defense. Show me the style you intend to teach him and we'll work out how to adapt it for human use. Until then, I'll work with him on his style and you will work on his stealth, detection and observation. Until I deem it satisfactory, he won't be deployed into the field. That said, I'd like to speak with him please, alone."

* * *

  
  


Naruto was sitting on the roof of the guest house, not an easy place to get up to, but hey, with chakra anything was possible. It was kinda unfair what his race could do in comparison with humans really. He sat looking up at the rare clear Gotham sky. Well, less rare than it used to be, since Bruce had been pushing a city wide environmental campaign to eliminate the chemical pollution in the air. City Park became more green and lively, people found they had more energy in the cleaner breathable air and the buildings were less grimy looking. The multiple fire stations went through the city spraying the building until they shone, entertaining the playful kids on the streets. The police commissioner and fire chief used this idea and set up a water day at the park, setting up slides and having an all-out cook-out. 

Bruce found out via Barbara and funded the whole event, paying for the food and the fireworks. Oddly enough, Ivy and Quinn were big hits in entertainment, Quinn happily doing an acrobatic routine with Dick and Ivy making plants form into water slides. Gothamites were hesitant to take part in anything they did until a blonde guy in a mask that covered his face partly and a young girl eagerly jumped into a tube. When he came out the other end landing on his back, grunting as the girl shot out and landed on him, both laughing like loons, the elder tickling the girl causing her to squeal, Gotham gave them a chance and were not disappointed. The city orphanages came out as well and the shows and plants were an instant hit. Ivy was shocked when a girl had declared she wanted to be just like her when she grew up.

When Batman and Robin appeared (Naruto had two clones henged into Bruce and Tim,) they were instantly swarmed. Bruce had taken some convincing to do this until Naruto pulled the "how can you be seen as defender of the innocent if the innocent don't acknowledge you?" card.

Needless to say, everyone had fun and with Kitsune clones watching the city, the night was peaceful for once.

A grunt at the side of the roof caught his attention and he peered over the edge to see Harley struggling to climb up to where he was. When she noticed he was watching, she blew hair out of her face and held out a hand, which he took and lifted her up to his spot. She gave him a smile in thanks.

"Kinda pretty up here, ey fishcake?"

"Best view of the town." He replied easily enough as he leaned back onto his elbows and stared up at the sky.

"You ever do this back home?" She asked a few moments later.

He sighed sadly.

"I used to do this a lot when I was a kid. Especially on my birthday. There was a place no one ever thought to look that was really high up where no one would bother me."

"Why would you hide from people on your birthday?" She turned to look at him.

"On the day I was born a natural catastrophe was released on my village, killing my father and mother. No one knew who I was, just that I appeared after the fallout and blamed me, saying I was the catastrophe made flesh."

"Pft, that's stupid."

"Want to hear a story?" He said suddenly.

She nodded and laid back against the roof beside him.

"Once, long, long ago, in a time of constant warring and bloodshed, there was a beautiful maiden with long milky white hair and skin fairer than any of the feudal lord's daughters, her eyes were whiter than the smoothest milk, her lips redder than the ripest cherry, and her body, well she didn't have issues attracting attention let's just say that. The clothes she wore were an elegant shrine robe, causing many to believe she was a priestess.

No one knew where she came from, not even herself as she had amnesia. Her name was Kaguya. She was kind, fair, and loving to anyone in need, especially to her doting farmer of a husband named Tenji **(I have absolutely no idea what his canon name is)**. To him, she gave three sons: Hagaromo, Hamura, and Zetsu. Hagaromo was born with ringed eyes that shone lavender and Hamura had inherited his mother's pale eyes of white with no pupil, the rinnegan and the byakugan.

Sadly, while she carried the third, he passed away. Roving bandits attacked their home and got him while he was working the fields. This drove the woman mad with grief and she sought out the gods to help her, but received no help or sign that her pleas were heard. So, she sought out a way to take the power of the gods from them; she sought out the Shinju tree. With the help of her sons, she cultivated the tree, fed it her life force,and won the tree's heart so much that it bore her a fruit. In this fruit lay the seed of the end, as it held the power of the gods and its deficiencies. She would become single minded to her last desire if she ate this fruit. The tree wanted her to open her heart and love before she ate and she tried. She looked upon her two children, but saw her husband in them and felt the need to protect as well." He looked at Harley to see she was listening intently, captured in his words.

"She pondered long and hard, trying to divine her truest feelings and thoughts, but they always came to that feeling, no, desire to protect. When she bit into the fruit, the absolute rapture of the metamorphosis began, changing her form. From the crown of her head over her ears, she grew two large horns that looked like rabbit ears. In the center of her forehead, she grew a burning itch that soon revealed itself as it opened to show a shining blood red jewel of an eye, with orbital rings and three dots with tails, like the comma in written English

but it scared her sons Hagaromo and Hamura and they tried to pry the fruit away from their mother. They were partially too late, she had eaten the fruit but not the seeds nor the core and the sheer power of the change altered the brothers as well. 

Because she had not eaten the full fruit, she wasn't able to ascend to the realm of divinity, if only just, and the circuit formed by her sons touching her sapped some of the power as well. Her desire matched with her grieving insanity drove her to try and remove the power from her sons but they quickly fled. They hid the core away and traveled. For years the two brothers avoided their mother and trained. They met a warrior animal, a toad by the name of gamamaru, who helped them realize their full powers, the powers of an awakened rinnegan and byakugan. What they didn't know was that their brother was born, mutated by the metamorphosis while he was in the womb and incapable of being ever considered human, an amorphous black ooze like blob that hid from the sunlight in his mother's sleeve. Unlike his brothers and mother, he didn't possess this power they had awakened, but he did have a sharp mind and he loved his mother to an insane degree." Naruto paused to lick his lips, they were a bit dry,

"Kaguya was kind at first, growing food in barren lands, building cities and helping the people learn and come together into small communities. For several years, she ruled with kindness and was just and fair, but she began to grow arrogant in her powers. Her subjects worshipped her as a goddess, and she began to believe it. The smallest infractions began to get harsher punishments, the criminals were hung in open view as were the victims in some cases. Young or old, innocent or guilty, man or woman, she turned cruel to anyone. If you tried to leave the community, she would kill you, if you tried to ask for aid, she had you whipped for wasting her time. She grew mad with power and believed that by causing pain and setting examples, she was protecting those in her care. She had become a tyrant by the time her distant sons finally were ready to face her. Secretly, during one of her rare sleeping moments, they snuck the citizens out of the city, until only they remained. She had arrogantly built her palace around the Shinju tree, both to guard it and to try and get it to produce another fruit, but it had long withered from a broken heart, it's act of kindness had led to suffering. It still had power in it, but no longer felt the need to survive. 

They waited for her to awaken and when she did, she beheld her two eldest sons, changed by the fruit themselves, Hagaromo, tall and broad, his eyes glowed with his power. His broad chest was clothed with a loose rough white tunic, his legs bore dark gray trousers, cinched in place with a purple sash that had a long katana tucked into it. In his hand was an elegant shukujo, or pilgrim's staff made of the darkest of black colored material, his other rested on the hilt of the blade at his hip, and around him floated five orbs of the same color.

Hamura was dressed in loose grey clothing under pure white plated armor that flowed down his chest and arms, with a yin and yang emblazoned on the center of the chest. The veins around his pale white eyes were raised, standing hard against his face. Like his brother, he also carried a katana and staff, though his staff was made of mahogany and steel. From both of their foreheads near their temples, two horns stood prominently against their bangs. 

Upon laying eyes on her children, she was immediately jealous and covetous, they had taken what was rightfully hers and she would remove it from them by force. For many months they fought, the brothers having prepared for this and Kaguya, while untrained, was immensely powerful. When Hamura was wounded, the fighting stilled momentarily, Hagaromo moving his brother away to where they hid the citizens. This distraction proved detrimental as while he was tending to his brother, Kaguya absorbed the remains of the Shinju tree into herself, something that was considered sacrilegious to many afterwords, the story claiming that the gods cursed her by making her into the beast she became, others say it was the shinju's remaining power reacting to hers, but regardless, she became a massive ten tailed monstrosity later known as the ten tailed rabbit demon. The city she built was destroyed when Hagaromo returned, the ground shook with the force of their battle, explosions lit up the darkest night brightly as though the sun was out. This fight continued, long drawn out for many months before finally, Hagaromo was forced to use one of the powers of his rinnegan. A power he loathed using.

See, the rinnegan allowed the user to access a technique called the rikkudo, or the six paths. Never understood that, since there were seven, but meh. Anyways the paths were named "Tendo, Shurado, Ningendo, Chikushodo, Gakido, Jigokudo, and Gedo. By using ningendo, roughly translated into "the human path" I think, and the Gakido, or… um… preta path? By using these two paths of rikkudo he separated the mutated soul born from the merger of his mother and the tree and its chakra, sealing them within his body. Using the tendo or deva path, he manipulated gravity to enclose the shriveled corpse of the beast in a large sphere of rock with numerous seals placed upon it and cast it into space where it took up orbit as a moon. With the battle over, he wept. He wept for the mother he lost, he wept for the fact that he had been forced to do this. For many years, he stayed in the area the fight took place, using his powers to coax nature into returning, and by doing so, learning from nature as well, becoming the world's first true sage. After years of mourning, he sought out his brother, discovering later when his brother joked about it, that his hair had turned vibrantly white during the fight. When he found his brother, he learned that his brother had taken up a family and he was now an uncle. Upon explaining what he had done his brother had cried, grieving their mother's loss as Hagaromo had done. He mourned with his sibling but felt he needed to travel the world and try to show humanity a way to peace. So he did, he left his brother to look after his family and wondered for many years, learning from and to many people who followed him. He shared the power the shinju fruit gave him and taught them the ninshū or creed of the ninja as a belief that power should only be used to protect, never harm. The power's name?" He held up his palm and a rasengan spun into existence floating above it, "Chakra." The orb flickered and faded away, swirling into the wind.

"Eventually, Hagaromo settled down and took up a wife himself, his followers settling around him and created a small community where the sage's two sons were born, one gaining the physical power of the sire, this was Asura, and the other, gaining some of the visual prowess of the Rinnegan in the form of the Sharingan, was Indra. Indra and Asura are important, but to their own tales. 

As all things do, Hagaromo's long life was coming to an end and he knew it, just as he knew no human could handle the power of the raging ten tailed beast, so he went into the wilderness and used his rikkudo one last time, separating the kyuubi into nine pieces, each developing their own mind, shapes and personality, these were the Bijuu, or tailed beasts.

The strongest, Kurama, took the form of the nine tailed kitsune, a beautiful reddish orange fur and brilliant red eyes that shimmer in devious joy, followed by Gyuki, an eight tailed ushi-oni or ox oni, a sorta chimera between a minotaur and an octopus. Next was lucky seven Chomei, a large kabuto beetle with seven wings and a sunny disposition, Saiken comes in as an acidic six tailed slug, Kokuo, the five tailed kirin who ran faster than the winds. The mighty Son Goku, the red four tailed gorilla with arms that could crush a mighty mountain. Quiet and shy Isobu, the hermit turtle with three tails that made it easy for swimming. The two tailed nekomata hellcat, Matatabi, who burned anyone that hurt her kittens with a fierce protectiveness and finally the playful Shukaku, the one tailed tanuki who loved to build sand castles and roll around in a ball. Hagaromo treated them as his children, spending years hidden away as they grew. Eventually though, he had to return. He named Asura the head of the family and passed soon after in his sleep, mourned by hundreds," Naruto looked up as the dawning sun crept over the horizon, "The stories of him passed down through the generations, some say he continued watching over the world, grieving about how his teachings was weaponized, others believed him to be a god and had set them on that path. Only the immortal bijuu knew." 

Sniffling caught his attention and he turned to see Tim comforting a crying Stephanie and Dick leaning against a chimney with his chin in his chest. So caught up in telling the story, he never realized he had more than Harley in his audience. Harley nudged his side, "you tell a pretty good story, fishcake. You should put it in one of your releases."

He scratched his head, "sad thing is, that was a true story. Kurama told it to me."

"Wait, Kurama, the bijuu? The giant nine tailed fox you just mentioned? How did he tell you?"

Naruto chuckled and poked her on the nose, "that, my friend is a story for another time."

Harley blushed lightly at the nose poke before the words registered in her mind and she squawked indignantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story Naruto told isn't the canonical one, but that got so convoluted it was really hard to fact check. Tried to straighten it out and make it easier to follow but wound up writing my own version. Do note, I'm ignoring Boruto, cutting it off at the knees.


	10. Joke's on you part 1

**Fifteen years ago, Gotham**

Jack Napier once had a bad day. Well, really it was a bad build up to a bad day. He had quit his job as a lab assistant to become a stand-up comedian, but this venture failed miserably. He tried daily to make people laugh and pay the bills, but no one got his sense of humor. He worked as a sign waiver when the ends were hard to meet. The stress piled up more when his wife informed him she was pregnant. Oh at first he was happy! Happy and proud he was going to be bringing new life into the world, but then the bills started piling up. His wife worked hard as a waitress but with his failing comedian routine and meager checks from the store he worked part time for, there just wasn't enough money for a doctor. 

So he did what any middle aged Gothamite did, He signed up to be a runner for the Mafia. The money he got for his runs easily helped them afford a doctor and got them through. He was paranoid about this new urban legend of a bat monster though, so he worked smart. Made his runs look natural, asked for jobs near the comedy center and near the hospital so he could disguise them as trips to make an attempt at his stand-up routine and taking his wife to prenatal care. His initiative impressed the boss. Then the red hood started making an appearance. His fights with the Batman were the talks of the town. Runs became more difficult because the runners were being snatched up and left beaten with bills higher than they could afford, the boss was saying it was the Bat doing it, but Jack was suspicious about the way he said it. Then came the bad day. The runs had all but dried up but his stand-up routine seemed to find a niche and people were laughing at his performance. But one day, he saw the mafia boss and several made men in the audience. He did the show like any other, but inside he was nervous, reviewing every detail he had done to determine why the boss was making a house call.

When the show was over, he made his way to the boss and that was when his bad day began. See, the red hood? A front, a distraction. Standard sleight of hand of while the cops and the bat where after one crime, another more successful crime took place and the boss was the brains behind it all. The mystery of the beaten runners was suddenly exposed, as the boss used runners as the face under the mask, the pretend mastermind to keep the detectives off the trail with very different M.O.s until the bat caught on and now? Now it was Jack's turn.

He played his part like it was something out of a theater performance while wearing the expensive black tuxedo and luxurious red cape. He waved the clothes gloves like he was a maestro leading an orchestra, but the pièce de résistance? The mask. It was just a simple red round top cylinder that covered his head, but it was so freeing, in a sense as he was able to act without his doubts, his fears, and societal restraints while they worked on robbing the experimental chemicals at the Ace factory. He was able to pretend he was in charge for some time, until one of the men reminded him he was just a runner. That when the bat crashed through the skylight and landed in front of him. Immediately all the doubts rushed back to his head, all his fears froze turned to cold dread triggering the fight or flight instinct inside him. He turned and tried to flee, but the bat grabbed his cape and a hard, gloved fist smashed through the mask, cutting his face open. He ripped the cape off and tried again to better success. He managed to get away in a moment of distraction when one of the thugs decided to attack the bat, probably in an attempt to make a name for himself, but the thug didn't stand a chance really. With a few well placed blows, the thug was on the ground in obvious pain.

Jack ran and ran before stopping in shock. In his fear of being pursued by the Batman, he had cornered himself on an observatory catwalk that was suspended above a vat of a bubbling brew of bright green chemicals. There was no place to run. 

The bat was there, at the end of the catwalk as Jack paced and panicked. He watched as he ripped off the red glass fish tank and threw it where it shattered into pieces. All the stress, all the doubts, all his fears, his pain and suffering, it was as if it was a cosmic societal joke!

Then clarity! It was a joke. It was all a massive joke, but no one saw the punchline, no one laughed. Until someone did.

Falling to his knee, Jack began laughing so hard his ribs popped. He laughed even harder when the bombs the thugs and made men planted went off. He laughed as the bat tried to run and grab him when an explosion knocked the catwalk loose and he slipped off the platform. He was laughing as he fell into the vat below them and hit the surface, his lumps spread akimbo. He laughed as tears poured out of his face. He laughed as he sank and the chemicals started getting into the open cuts on his face as he sank, bleaching his skin. He laughed as the bat watched on in horror as his manic laughter was drowned out under the surface of the liquid. He laughed as Jack Napier died. He laughed as the one bad day ended.

  
  


When he awoke, he found himself on the rocky coast, where the factory secretly dumped their chemicals into the water. He laughed when he wondered what the bay clean up committee thought of this. His reflection caught his eye in the water, the sight of the pale skin of his face drawn tightly into a wide cheek to cheek grin, the cut from his mask on one side of his face made it more frightening. Whipping out the swiss army knife he always kept on him, he cut the otherside to match and laughed as the blood poured from the open cut. 

He looked over himself in the pool of water. His hair, once brown was now dark green, the whites of his eyes now a light yellow. He laughed, he got the punchline and he laughed until his eyes wept. He laughed as his back popped, he laughed and laughed and the manic, hysterical laughter echoed around the bay. He laughed as he staggered to his home, he laughed as he tried to make his wife understand the joke. He laughed when her blood splattered across his face as he stabbed her with a kitchen knife and her screams turned to gurgles.

He laughed in the alley as he was confronted by some hoodlums. They didn't get the joke either. A pimp tried to stop him and had laughed when the Man Who Laughed told him he wanted the pimps suit, and asked him if he was some sort of joker, the man laughed harder and said that was exactly who he was. Then he shot him point blank with the gun he had taken from one of the hoodlums. As he stood over the pimps still warm body barely covered by the man's boxers, he looked at the fur caped in his hand and just tossed it over the dead man like it was a shroud. 

A joker, eh? No. THE joker. 

He laughed again, the punchline kept punching!

* * *

He soon whipped up a chemical like the one he was dunked in, not really like it was hard, he did study chemistry school, that he tested on the hoodlums too afraid to stand up to him, and he saw a new joke that was so funny, they died laughing. It was hilarious! But it made him wonder. He got the joke of society, but would anyone else? Could he spread the joke?

Looking through the papers he saw there was a gala to be held and lo and behold! His old boss would be there! And Bruce Wayne! Why, how could he resist?!

He quickly had the hoodlums on the streets planting bombs and aerosol containers filled with his formula. He had them produce a perfect suit for the gala too, a nice rich purple three piece with a green vest and a canary gold shirt. He topped it off with a black bow tie and the garish purple fedora. With a laugh that would haunt Gotham for many years to come, he left the building.

The poor party clown decided to take a sick day because he was under the weather. And about six to seven pounds of garbage in a dumpster. Posing as the crew to handle everything for the performance, the goons had carted in canisters of the formula into the building an hour before the gala, then THE clown arrived, a wide smile with red lips on his pale as death face. Security just let him in, as he was tonight's performance and it was going to be a gas!

* * *

**February, Present Year, Gotham**

Naruto wiped his brow and took a gulp from his water bottle as he watched the morning sun. It had been a month since Mirai's abduction and the child was understandably upset. Even more so when she learned one of the people who helped was now staying at the manor and joining them for training. Then the bomb about the new mark on her hip exploded. She was livid, seeing it as a sign Naruto didn't trust her, but it was only when Harley pointed out that it could never be removed like her ninja knife was that he got a reprieve. The eight year old was still furious about being marked the same way he marked the criminals, but now understood it was because he had been scared to death about losing her.

Speaking of Harley, she and Mirai had struck up a rapport that honestly confused Naruto, leaving him wondering what to do. Though, admittedly, the Mirai/Harley team up were incredibly inventive in their pranks, something he encouraged greatly since it practiced problem solving, stealth and trap making. Whenever Mirai got someone with a prank, he sat her down and had her explain the process, having her tell him the pro's and con's of the plan, which helped her think and strategize better. Her taijutsu was far better than his was as well, the monkey's fist that Bruce taught her paired extremely well with the fighting style of the Sarutobi clan and goken she was learning. She was also incredibly creative in how she fought, something Naruto was quite proud of, as she would seek to undermine someone's strengths and switch styles on the fly, making her aggravating to fight unless you're an experienced master like Bruce or someone who has been fighting all their life, like Naruto. Harley tried sparring with her once but Mirai completely dismantled her, the psychologist didn't really have a fighting style, though Naruto had offered to help her hone what she had and maybe help her find one that felt right. She took him up on the offer, but with some reticence, which evaporated when all naruto did was show her how to punch and kick better with her gymnastics. 

Naruto was more of a heavy handed brawler, and unlike Anko, not very limber, but he did read and reminisce and with the help of Kurama, learn. He showed Harley a bit of the hebiken scroll, which relied heavily on flexibility and tasked her with coming up with a way to incorporate the taijutsu into her gymnastics. What she came up with made her look like she was bouncing around like a bunny, so he jokingly called it usagikeru **(I think this means kick of the rabbit, but I'm not 100%. If it's not, or there's a better term, please let me know.)** As she would bounce, flip and use limber kicks to hit as well as use the momentum of the opponent against them. She once was able to grab his arms with hers and kick him in the face before using the cuff of her knee to send him on his back and settled into an armbar, which though she wasn't strong enough to actually dislocate his arm, to a normal person.... 

The fighting style also was distracting, for Naruto at least, as the bouncing made Naruto very conscious of the fact she was a fully matured woman, until Ivy got her a chest binder to work out in. 

Every morning when she joined Naruto and Mirai, now with Damian included, She always brought a sunny smile and a happily radiant atmosphere that Naruto greatly enjoyed. Alfred would come out soon after an hour had passed and allow Harley to spend time with Lucille, or Lucy in the sunlight. Bruce had taken in Lucille as a ward since Quinn was still under observation. All in all, Naruto was quite happy, for once.

He set his water bottle down and tossed his shirt back on the bench where he had taken it off to greet the sun by going through his forms by the treeline. With Kurama drawing in nature energy and mixing it with his chakra so he could train in sage mode, he was slowly learning the difference between game sage mode and the parliamentary sage mode. He had learned that the Parliament sage mode allowed his partial access to the realms of each connected parliaments, with red, he had much sharper senses, eyes of a hawk, ears of a fox ( **OI!** ), olfactory like a wolf, etc. With the blue, he had a sort of echolocation underwater, not prominent, but useful. It was in the green and white that the more useful capabilities came from. From the green, he got denser flesh and bone, ie skin, muscles, tendons, allowing his to lift things much heavier than he normally could, easily able to cause small tremors if he used his full strength much like he could with game sage mode, but it added the ability to feel through the network of plants, which was great for spying. The white was the Airsight, that allowed him to see outside his body in the currents of air though it wasn't like seeing through light. He saw through heat and scents instead. 

Each scent had a subtle coloring to it, natural items were greenish, metals a grey brown, and animals left a trail of wild red that followed their heat signature. The oddest thing was people like Ra's al Ghul and Ivy. Ra's presence in Airsight had been a corona of red with a radiant green pouring and mingling with it, where Ivy was a red/green combination like the halo that came off her heat signature transitioned beautifully from ember red to forest jade green and this green followed 2 which was quite entertaining to watch. Harley had this halo as well, though hers was less pronounced and had a sort of goldenrod yellow mingled in. 

He threw a hard punch, letting himself feel, immersing himself into the senses afforded him by the new sage mode, the sense of touch, sound, taste and smell easily noticeable as he closed his eyes and spread his awareness through the grass under his feet. He could smell the coconut conditioner of Mirai and the green tea lemon that Harley used as he felt them approach. Spinning he hit a dummy with a hard axe hand that tore completely through the dummy, part of it flying off into the side of the guest house with a dull thump.

A whistle sounded behind him as Harley, Mirai and Damian approached, Damian with an extremely sour look on his face. Harley was…..just staring at him in a look that made him really want to put a shirt on and Mirai was bouncing on her feet.

"What's the plan today, sensei? A spar? Battle tactics? Calligraphy? (That last one made Damian look at her with confusion and irritation), ooo! Jutsu!?"

Naruto had to hide his laugh by looking like he was thinking, a small excited blonde image in an orange jumpsuit standing beside her with the same exuberant smile. 

"Hmmm no, maybe later, definitely later, and not today. Remember, we do chakra training-"

"On even days, I know, I know. So what are we going to do?"

"Simple. We're going to play hide and seek. No powers, no chakra, just skill"

Damian scoffed, "please, as if any of you could hope to find one trained as an assassin of my calibre. I've already won."

Mirai turned red with anger and was about to speak when Naruto held up his hand.

"Well, it seems we have our first volunteer. Damian, you have exactly 10 minutes." He said calmly. Damian had been boastful and hauty ever since he arrived and very antagonistic towards anyone who he deemed inferior. He scoffed and marched into the trees until he was hidden in the shadows.

"Alright Mirai, you're up!"

"Can I just point at where he is? He's not very good at it."

A loud "WHAT?" Made the girl laugh.

"See? He's up in the canopy fifth tree in, third to the left."

"And how did you know that?" Naruto asked, scratching his chin.

"I listened like you taught me to, Sensei. The soft footfalls when he walked, the rustle of leaves when he jumped up to his spot and the groan of the wood as it took his weight."

"Damian, you've been made, come on out," naruto said loudly.

With several muttered words that would have made Alfred angry, the child came out of the woods. 

"Like you could do better."

And she did, taking Damian a full 15 minutes to find her, even though she had been following him over head. It was when he gave an annoyed growl at the sky that he saw her perched above him using her soles, toe and hand to fling to the branch while holding an acorn over him. 

* * *

"What is the point of this?! You said training, not children's games. We've been running back and forth in these woods for hours!"

Naruto bent over and looked the child in the eyes and tapped him with two fingers on his forehead, sending him to the ground.

"A true ninja must see underneath the underneath, Damian. Everything is training. Hide and seek? Stealth and observation. Cooking? Learning chemistry and how to blend seasonings to cover the taste of poison in someone's food. Tag? Battlefield strategy, dodging as well as stamina. Simply mingling and talking to people can be considered political training. Just as anything can be used as a weapon, so too can any activity be considered training."

"Yeah? What about sleeping?" The boy countered

"Meditation and rest. Both incredibly important to the growing body and mind."

Damian just sat and stared at the older man who simply stood there serenely. With a thud, Mirai sat beside the boy looking up at her surrogate father and teacher, her top slightly soaked in sweat.

"Now, Mirai, what does calligraphy teach?"

"It helps train the coordination between the hand and eye, as well as steady hands. Useful for lock picking, medicine and throwing weapons."

"Good. Now, Damian, so far I've been testing you. You have failed in each area, but I know where I should begin. Simply put, you don't stop and think, you assume, incorrectly, that because you had training, if that could be called training, from the league of shadows that there was no one who could best you. Yet neither you nor Mirai noticed Harley disappear and hide, nor did you notice Dick, Tim, or Bruce in the trees watching us. Even Alred, who is standing by the front door of the manor on the front steps went unnoticed. You must pay attention to details as even the smallest detail missed could prove fatal, though, there are times when this is impossible to do."

"Father was watching?" Damian looked surprised, Mirai was squinting back into the trees trying to see something. Her eyes widened as she spotted Dick who cheerily waved at her from where he hung from a branch by his knees. Tim wasn't far away, intensely reading a news feed on his phone with Harley looking over his shoulder unnoticed by the boy wonder, but try as she might, she didn't see Bruce. She looked back at Dick who simply smiled and pointed up at an angle to his right. She followed his finger and had to squint to see the outline of the broad shouldered billionaire in the shade of the tree. He was standing in the darkest spot of the shade, barely visible. 

"Mirai, the test is already completed. While you performed better than Damian, you still failed as well." Naruto said, calling her back to him, it hurt when he said she failed and it bothered her. She would get better so he could smile with pride.

* * *

  
  


As Naruto ended his lesson and sent the children to get prepared for school, Harley was watching on in mild surprise. When she first met him, she had thought he was some weirdo who had just randomly appeared in Gotham, then again it was Gotham, weirdos came out of the woodworks. However as she spent more and more time around him and it felt like that madness that grew around that psycho she thought was the one for her, slowly faded. Oh she could still feel the hyper exuberance, but it felt more controlled. After she gave birth, she did swell up, but not as much as she thought she would have, thanks to whatever Ivy injected her with that changed her, and it made her feel something new, something the Joker never made her feel, pure hope. Hope for a brighter tomorrow, hope that her daughter will live a good life. 

Being around the blonde Shinobi gave her something she had never felt growing up in the darkest part of Gotham as well, peace. Whenever she was near him, her mind was lucid and tranquil, she could simply be in his presence. That wasn't excluding the eye candy, the man had abs you could grate cheese off of and a toned physique that looked like it was carved out of marble. 

Sure, he wasn't perfect, he had moments where he didn't seem to understand and could be clueless, but when she saw him holding Lucy, the care in his eyes made Harley almost melt. She'd only seen him truly angry when Mirai had been kidnapped and then it was like a hurricane tore through the peace and left fury in its wake. It was as if nature itself was angry and it called her to arms. Ivy had said it was because he was a sage, whatever that meant.

When she had kissed him, it was an impulsive thing, but it was electric, nothing she felt when the Joker let her kiss him. He made her feel safe, where the Joker made her feel terrified. She thought she was in love with the Joker, she really did, but now looking back, she was sure she was just a means for gratification to the man. But with Naruto, she felt wanted, desired even with the way he looked at her. Oh she'd seen him looking. At first she thought he was a pervert, but he never made a lewd comment, never made any move on her, just looked. Looked, blushed, realized he was looking and looked away. 

She blinked.

Was he a….no, he was a war veteran from a devastation torn dystopia, there was no way he was, after all he was so kind and caring and gentle that any would fall in love with him. But then again, the signs were there. The bashful nervousness, the looks and blushing, the mild stutters when any visiting heroine flirted with him. He wasn't gay, she could see that. The way he would look at the ladies in their tight body suits and hardly pay attention to the guys. He was a pervert, but not a gross pervert and to be fairly honest, she kinda liked the way he looked at her. It wasn't him looking at her like she was a piece of meat, it was more. It was intrigue, it was curiosity, it was desire. It made her feel more sexy than the Joker ever made her feel. She tested him too, the same negligee she used to try and seduce the Joker that got her slapped, she wore one night and acted like she was going to the bathroom, catching him in the hallway. She had never seen a man turn so red. Also, she was pretty sure he was bigger in the men's department than the clown, judging by the bulge she saw in his pants.

Harley walked to her room lost in her thoughts about the blonde Shinobi, on her attraction to him and mental debate on if she should act on it. She did like being around him, he was funny in a cute sort of way, not the demented sort. Would he even let her have a chance? She helped in terrorism, after all. 

She started folding her clothes and was getting ready to tuck them inside a drawer when she dropped everything with a loud gasp. Sitting on top her old Harley Quinn outfit was a plush harlequin doll with a knife through its head, in its arms a note that said, "Daddy's coming".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1: again, I'm not at all fluent in Japanese, but I do respect their language, as one word in it can express so much. Since I'm taking a character out of an anime, I'm making their native tongue to be similar to Japanese. This said, I won't be doing the whole thing of having naruto say "arigato" or something. It gets annoying. However I will use the techniques names in their native terms, due to most of the english translation is…..well most of them sound silly. Like rasengan. Look it up. Sounds way better hitting someone with a rasengan over a spiraling ball. Hiraishin is simply easier to type than flying thunder god.
> 
> 2: Getting inside the jokers head made me feel dirty. I was trying to shift through everything I know about him from BTAS, Batman Beyond, and the comics, and while I don't think I did his insanity justice, I feel like I was able to get an inkling as to a decent origin for him. Thus begins the second to final arc of part one: Gotham, The Jokes On You. 


	11. Jokes on you part 2

**March, Gotham city**

Harleen Quinzell was not happy as she marched into the cave. She'd been on another patrol with Kitsune and Kage and still her nerves were frayed all to hell. After finding the first harlequin doll, she had started finding them all over the place and it scared her to bits. She removed the new helmet they'd fitted to her after she tossed the whole Harley Quinn persona last week for a new start. 

She had wanted to show the world she wanted to be better so she took up a new calling card and since the hero she worked with went by the name Kitsune, she decided to play on the idea of the fox and the wolf, asking Ivy, Alfred and Bruce for famous Wolves in Japanese mythology settling happily on Okami as her call sign, her colors went from the red and black of Harley Quinn to a dark grey with a dull gold coloring. On her forearms she wore light padded steel plates wrapped in snow white faux fur with a grapple hook that shot out from her wrists. Her helmet was imaged to be like a snarling wolf with icy blue eyes that she could light up for intimidation tactics, with her mouth uncovered so people could see her smile. 

When she put on the helmet, she would wrap her long blonde hair into a tight bun so grabbers couldn't use it as a hand hold to hold onto, since she didn't want to cut it short. She still enjoyed having fun, but she let the doctor in her come to light easier as Okami than she did as Harley Quinn which helped since she had ruined one of the fur coverings on her gauntlets by running into a burning house to save a cat for a little girl, who she was able to get to smile thanks to her children psychology lessons. It actually felt a lot more freeing to be Dr. Harleen Quinzell again instead of ditzy Harley Quinn. Made it even better that it made Naruto smile at her when she showed her intelligence unlike her narcissistic ex who would hit her if she out thought him.

Sighing, she undid her painfully tight hair tie and shook her hair free. One of these days she was just going to have to grab the clueless idiot and kiss him until he wasn't able to stand straight. She had given all the signals that she was interested, hadn't she? She knew he was, the way he kept looking at her, but they were going nowhere, just like the investigation on the harlequin dolls. It was infuriating. What did she have to do? Strip down in front of him and say "here I am, fuck me"? She knew he had the stamina after watching him fight Killer Croc and had a good heart, the way he treats Mirai and Lucy.

The dolls they kept finding were easy to track down to the distributor, but they were all bought by random names and none of those actually seemed to really exist. The knife came from a generic cheap manufacturer who just cut the blades from steel plates, sticks them in a plastic handle and sells them, not keeping track outside of shipping and this too, turned into a dead end. Just like her trying to get Naruto to make a move.

She looked over at the man who was removing his pauldrons, the tight fabric of his armored top hugging onto his muscles and she shivered dreaming about them holding her tightly as he bit down on her... No! Bad! down girl. We don't eye rape the sexy man meat! 

Naruto looked over at her when she smacked her forehead with her bracer in concern, the scar on his face shining in the artificial light of the cave. Over the past three years, the angry red of the scar had dulled and some of the scarring had receded, though it was still a dominant facial feature. He probably would never have facial hair on that side of his head again, though with several doctors help, the missing ear had been replaced with lab grown cartilage and medical silicone allowing him to hear better out of that side again. The gruesome smirk the scar made had lessened as well through several treatments of reconstructive surgery, but the doctors were hesitant to do anything else due to several factors, key of which the malicious miasma that leaked out of his wounds as well as the fact most known speedster weren't surgeons. 

Shame really, with their speed, they could save more lives than just running around on the streets. Someone is bleeding out on the operating table? Sutured before they lose too much blood. If she had to vote for one, she'd say kid flash with his eidetic memory, but instead he's playing costumed vigilante with the scarlet speedster. Then again, she's one to talk, she's a psychiatrist yet she's out on the streets. Maybe if the courts say her rehabilitation is complete she could open a small office and become a doctor again. She'd probably have to work with a choice clientele base due to her background. Holy shit, look at those abs!

* * *

Naruto looked up confused as an odd smell wafted into the air as he unbuckled the armor and removed his uniform's top. The odd smell was coming from Lee who was staring at him with glazed over eyes. He couldn't help but notice how her suit conformed to her curves in all the wrong (right) places making it very distracting when on patrol. When Mirai joined the patrols, against his wishes he might add, it helped as it gave him somewhere else to look. He really hadn't wanted the girl out on the night town, but when Bruce gave Damian the Robin sigil after Tim left to become Falcon, **(an)** he really didn't have much of an argument, especially after she followed Robin out of the cave without the boy being aware. He was impressed by her determination and spirit, but he was scared for her. All it took was one mess up, one slip, and he'd be the last of his kind. Bruce vouched for her, as did Dick and Tim, but he just wasn't ready to let go of her just yet. She was the last child born to their race, and since her birth, she had become a light to their people, to him; She was their hope, their future. For four years, he'd somehow slipped into a gathering role for her and treated her as he would a daughter, he hoped at least. She never once called him anything other than sensei, but the girl knew she had him wrapped around her little finger and he would tear the world asunder were anything to happen to her.

As he pulled a fresh white shirt over his head and unbuckled the straps of his boots, he pondered. What exactly was he doing? Was he helping or was he just riding the tide? So far he had just gone with the motions, trying to blend in with the humans of this world and for four years he had settled into a niche, but what did he want out of life? He was a fighter, it was in his blood, so he couldn't exactly stop, but what did he fight for? He had a steady income from the books he wrote, his publisher clamoring for him to continue, saying his readers wanted to know if Memna would finally realize if the heiress Hinata was in love with him. They asked him if he wanted lawyers to sue for the fanfiction some of his readers wrote, some showcasing a better ending then what he had lived. He also had a quick selling series that he penned, albeit very very hesitantly, in honor of Jiraiya. The first series, Naruto's life story, was titled in honor of his godfather's non-smutty story, the Tale of an Utterly Gutsy Ninja. But under the name Jiraiya Gamasennin **(an)** , he wrote the series of Icha icha. However, having never actually been with a woman, it was difficult to continue this series, as he had no real experience to write about. Oh, he wrote what he remembered of Jiraiya's transcripts and books that his godfather made him read, but he couldn't add to the series. He had no idea how romance worked, he just knew in hindsight Hinata had loved him when she told him so before she died.

Wait. Maybe he was overthinking things. He had several experienced people around him, maybe he could ask someone. Looking at Lee, as she demanded to be called now however stopped all higher brain functions. She was bent over fighting with the tight armored top that had caught on her hair, her very tight round butt on full display. The way her cheeks tensed and flexed stretching the fabric that clung to her skin as she danced around trying to get her head free was hypnotic. He didn't know how long he stood there, watching her glorious backside dancing, but it must have been a couple of minutes as she called him on it.

"I need some help here, mistah, so eyes off my ass and give me a hand!"

On second thought, Lee might make it hard to think about the writing.

He gulped as he pulled the hair hook that caught her top free and backed up as she shucked the top off and waved her hair loose, her toned stomach and sports bra covered breast easily catching his eyes as Lee turned to face him with a smirk on her face.

"So, the pervert rears his head again, eh? Well mistah? Ya like what you see?"

It was at this moment Naruto wondered why there wasn't a separated changing room as he was backed up against the wall by a smirking Lee who had a hungry look in her eyes as she pushed him gently into the wall.

"So tell me, Foxy, ya ever been with a woman like me?"

"HARLEY!" A voice from the door shouted, the noise echoing across the room.

"Grrrahd dammit Red, why ya gotta ruin my fun?" The girl groaned and put her forehead on Naruto's chest.

"I think if you have too much more fun, the poor man is gonna have a heart attack," the redhead said as she fully entered the room. She glanced down at Naruto's boxers briefly, "though I don't think he'd complain too much. But now's not the time. There was another doll found."

This sobered Lee up fast, the hungry look in her eyes faded slightly as her smirk became a scowl.

"That Clown is playing head games with me, I swear. Are we sure he's still in Arkham?"

"He isn't anymore. Batman found out how he was getting out, but he'd already slipped out." The red head sighed as she leaned against the wall.

"Ok, how?"

"He broke the pipes to his toilet and dug into the cave system under Arkham. You know the ones that lead to the old Arkham?"

"Well, that's just fucky. Any idea where he went?"

Naruto stood pressed against the wall in his shirt and boxers, seemingly forgotten by the two and seriously wishing for a pair of pants. Lee's hand was still on his chest, making him blush slightly as he thought of how close her face was to his. This was NOT how any romance work he'd read said it was supposed to be, there were no flowers, no smooth talking, just a hot woman looking for her meal, and that scared him a little. Oddly enough, he also found it kinda hot. He was pulled out of his thoughts as Lee's hand tightened a grip on his shirt and pulled him down to her face where she kissed him hard.

 **"Systems read all higher computing abilities have stalled, sir. I'm afraid he's dead Jim."** The fox in his gut snickered.

When she broke the kiss, she leaned up to his ear and whispered, "get a clue mistah. This Harley is wanting to be revved up and ridden."

There is no known shade of red to explain the color of Naruto's blush when the words registered in his head. Seeing this she giggled and skipped out of the room leaving the speechless blushing blonde and the cynical redhead who just watched as he gathered his higher brain functions.

"So. You and Harley. That a thing or a thing she wants to happen?"

Naruto looked at her in confusion, not really understanding what the redhead was asking. The redhead sighed,

"She likes you and while she may be a bit more forward than you might like, she is determined to get what she wants. Question is, do you like her as well? Cause if you do, I can tell you, she chose a fitting new code name, since she's loyal like a wolf. Even when she was with the joker, she was fiercely loyal. If you're not, make it clear now, otherwise she'll see it as a sign to keep on. So I'm asking you straight, Uzumaki: do you like Harleen Quinzell?"

Naruto was quiet for a moment, thinking before slowly nodding and muttering something. 

Ivy perked up an eyebrow, "try again where I can understand you. I'm multilingual, but even still, I can't speak mumbles."

"I don't know how." He spoke a bit louder.

"How to what? Like her?"

"How to be with a woman. I've never… I've never been with a woman before!" He shouted in his flustered voice.

"Oh. Oooooh. You're a virgin." Ivy stated as she understood. Walking over to him, she pointed at the bench and sat down.

"So you like her but don't know how to make a move or to reciprocate on her's, that it?"

Naruto rubbed his short hair, "I can tell she likes me, I'm not that dumb, it's just the last woman I liked, hell almost loved, died in my arms. Ever since then, I've pretty much taken up a look but don't touch policy. Lee makes that really really hard to abide by: she's witty, smart as hell, sharp as a tack and zany enough she can make me laugh, something I've found hard to do since I came here. Add on top of that, she's incredibly beautiful to the point I can't stop looking at her." 

As Naruto talks, Ivy's eyebrows rose and rose, not realizing the depth that the man actually felt for her friend. This wasn't a simple attraction, the man gave a detailed explanation as to why he liked her. She looked toward the door out of the corner of her eye, seeing the platinum blond hair by the door frame and shook her head.

"Well first thing, you can't put up a wall. Your life has been hell, I won't deny that, and yes, it's tragic. I've heard you scream yourself awake at night. You need to talk to talk to someone, really get it off your chest. As for Harls, you gotta give yourself a chance, don't ask if you deserve it, really get out there and try. If it doesn't work, then it didn't work, but you'll get nowhere if you don't take a step. God, I'm no good with people, I mean, I'm a plant person talking about love. So you like her, She likes you, hell, she hasn't liked someone's much as you since she was in college. And then there was the baby daddy and I won't _even_ get into that mess. Point is, you're broken and she's broken, maybe together you could help each other rebuild, yeah? Ok, that was worse out loud than it was in my head."

"So...what should I say to her?" Naruto said as he scratched the back of his head. Ivy stood up and looked at him,

"Nothing right now. Tonight go to her room, wrap your arm around her waist and kiss the ever loving hell out of her and let her lead. That's it. Then when you and her get….this" she gestured around, "out of your system, talk with her. Because the hormones and pheromones you two give off is making my plants act up, so if you two don't get it out of your systems, I'm locking you two in a vault for three days."

Naruto chuckled awkwardly as he stood up.

"If you want to be romantic, do it later, take her to go see a movie, though I would recommend sticking to the college district. The other districts can get a little…..murdery after dark. Now, for the love of god, put on some pants." She said as she walked out and shut the door. Before the door was fully shut, she poked her head back in, "I don't think I really have to say this, but if you hurt her like that clown did, I will make a cactus with the sole purpose of making it hard for you to sit, understand me?" 

With that she closed the door leaving Naruto to ponder what she meant and paled.

* * *

She sighed as she folded her clothes, her mind on two separate trains of thoughts, one was on the dolls again, the newest one found near the mayor's office and the other on what she heard between Red and Foxy. He really was a virgin after all. Wow. She couldn't understand how someone like him never had a girl take him to home base before, the guy just oozed sex appeal. She did wonder about his past. Like Red, she heard him in the fits of a night terror and had seen the glowing red eyes snap open when she peeked in, having to avoid a thrown kunai that went through the door and wall. She saw the common symptoms of PTSD that she had seen when she studied the trauma induced illness in her doctorate classes. Highly common in military combat veterans along with visual hallucinations, a form of schizophrenia in some cases. However, it was the glowing red slitted eyes that scared her to her core, the ominous feeling of a predator watching her was nightmare fuel. For such a nice guy, he could seriously be scary. 

Even Bruce I have no sense of humor Wayne was worried about his sleep, which was worrying. 

The dolls however were just as worrying. So far, they seemed to follow the trail she had made that put her on the path of going straight: the bridge where she went to ivy, the spot where Thompkins set up a pick up clinic, the mayor's office where Bruce set up the reformation act backed with his funding, the hospital the doctor that helped her give birth worked, the sight where Caroline Striegel was nearly killed by the ballgown or Cinderella as they're calling her now, her room in the guest house and now the newest plushie wasn't a harlequin doll, but a wolf plushie with a harlequin hat, hung up by its neck by a noose with a knife in its gut. Put frankly, she didnt know how he was tracking her, but then the clown tracked Charlie Collins for two years just as a hobby. With nothing but a pen and a paper notebook. That had been her first outing at the Harlequin. She, an unknown psychiatrist intern at Arkham, pretending to be a strippergram for the commissioner's testimonial banquet. When she was so wrapped up in a fantasy. Her eyes started to open when the man shoved her out a window because she had captured the bat with a plan he discarded, as she lay on the ground, broken and bleeding she started to really begin questioning things. When she found out she was pregnant and went to Ivy her eyes really opened, she was afraid of him. He owned her not with love but with honeyed words and fear. 

No. More.

The Harlequin is dead and she was never going back to putting up with that crap. 

She rubbed the kanji on her side, where it was hidden and smiled. She was so caught up in her thoughts, she never knew there was a bat swung at her head until it hit home. Just before it all went dark, she heard that laugh that haunted her nightmares.

* * *

  
  


Mirai was upset. Why might you ask? Well she was supposed to be on patrol with the new Robin, but he poofed off to do a solo act and left her to do the patrol alone. When Sensei finally caved and let her out on patrol, she had expected fights and saving kittens, not watching people walk and socialize. Her suit as Kage was nice though. Nano mesh bodysuit, hard silicone gauntlets with titanium bars that could be removed to form a staff and a shuriken dispenser with grooves for quick slinging on the underside, or she could pull them into her hand for a multi throw her boots were set up like Kitsune's allowing her to cling to walls easily. Her helmet was reinforced, padded, but streamlined so it was tight but snug and comfortable, completely hiding her face with a visor. Above the visor was a steel plate with two kanji for shadow on either side of the larger spiral leaf. In all, she looked like a new age Shinobi and it made her feel bad ass. Naruto had asked Mr.. Terrific to go ham on the helmet's safety features and well as the head up display. The program of the suit allowed her to run identity scans from facial features, have an active map that connected to the one Oracle saw, as well as keeping track of the amount of throwing weapons she had in the holster. It wasn't accurate, since she also had storage seals that always had at least 20 more. Earth steel sadly wasn't chakra conductive and though Mr. T could technically fabricate chakra conductive metal, it took time and some of the materials were rare and expensive, which was why she was only able to carry five kunai made from the material and Sensei held the rest, locked away in a seal he hid where she couldn't find it. He said it was so she learned conservation of her tools.

She jumped to another rooftop muttering plans of how she was going to pluck the feathers off Robin in the most painful ways possible when something hit her chest hard, making her stumble. Before she had a chance to look down to see what hit her, an electric current hit her, sending her body into a tense lock up as she screamed and fell to her knees, sliding from her momentum. She was hit again with the force again and another shock made her fall onto her side, arching her back as she screamed again, her suit's system fritzing like crazy. When she could finally see clearly through teary eyes, she found her vision blacked by dark purple dress shows. 

"Well well well now, aren't you just a tough little bird." Came the voice from the figure standing above her. Something heavy hit her helmet hard, the force carrying through the padding, snapping her head to the side and she heard a loud crack in the faceplate. She had to get up, she tried but her body was still weak from the shocks, making the struggle ungainly and twitchy, He just sent another line of current through the wires connected to the revolver making her scream and arch her back again. The figure laughed, his voice cold and cruel, "well now. Don't get up on my account! Seriously, maybe you should-" another blow came to her arm causing her to scream as she felt the bone in her bicep break, the pain making her vomit into her mask. Another blow hit her leg, making her cry again from the pain. A shoe found her side, pushing her over onto her back. She was delirious from the pain but she could swear she was looking at a pale white man with a cruel and sick cheek to cheek grin. His purple suit, a coat with tails and a pair of slacks, was filthy with a disgusting yellow shirt under a green vest, a long nosed revolver was in one gloved hand and crowbar in the other.

"-lay back down. Wow, you really are a tough little thing, aren't you? Tsk tsk, what is the bat thinking? The crime fighting do gooders get younger and younger each day. Why the first two Robins were teenagers when they started playing dress up. Gotta admit though! You're tougher than the current robin, that's for sure!" He barked out an insane laugh, "why, he took a taser shot to the little bird eggs and went out like a light! While you, you take two and still try to get up! Two broken bones and you're still steaming on like a champ, wait, no. Only one broken bone. Oh what the hell, let's fix that!" the crowbar descended onto her leg again with an audible crack. She screamed shrilly as the man stepped on her broken arm as he swung down again onto her ribs and then shot her with another taser round. The last thing she saw was the figure bent backwards screaming a laugh at the moon.

* * *

Pain. A throbbing loud pain that seemed to reverberate through her body from her throbbing aching head, probably a concussion, to a wet spot on her arm that burned like hot poker was pressed to it, to her toes. She was bound tightly at the wrists, forearms, elbows, knees and ankles, tied tightly to a chair. She peered through slitted eyes around the room finding it empty and blank. When the door slid open, she saw her worst nightmare smiling at her.

The Joker. The clown prince of crime, the harlequin of hate, the jester of chaos.

"Harley, Harley, Harley. Did you really think you could get away from Daddy so easily? I will always find you, no matter where you go, even if it's Batsy's little cave with your little fox toy guarding you. Oh yes, I know about the little fox you've been stringing along, I've been watching you for some time. The little mark that would allow him to teleport to you? Why I simply cut it off you, you're free! I also picked up our little girl. Why you should be proud of her! Three shock rounds four broken ribs, an arm and a leg and yet she still kept fighting. Looks nothing like me though. Gonna have to change that. Oh?" He leaned closer to her face, "What's that I see in your eyes? Defiance? Hmm, why Harley it's almost as if you don't love me anymore. Why that just breaks my heart."

"That's the thing, Napier-" SMACK

A hard slap hit her face causing stars to explode in her vision.

"Where did you hear that name!? Never call me that!" The joker yelled and snarled. Harley spit the blood from her mouth and smiled, 

"What's the matter puddin, you act like you've seen a ghost. Does it haunt you that I called you that? Maybe Jack-" another slap, snapping her head to the side.

"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" He screamed, each exclamation punctuated with a hard slap. He breathed heavily before standing straight and fixing his coat jacket, "oh I see what you're doing, good try Harley. Good try. But the fox and the bat can't find you. why, you ask? Well it's quite simple. I didn't leave clues like that riddler putz and have left no calling cards. The only thing I'm going to do is send a message and this room is so blaise that there's nothing to pull the location from. The fox can't teleport in and save you cause I removed that pesky little tattoo, I also nabbed our little girl who he has been training like such a devoted boyfriend. Had to rough her up some, but in the end she will come to love daddy just like you do." He began to laugh loudly before stopping. He didn't see fear in Harley's eyes, just realization and determination followed by a smirk. His eyes narrowed. He knew he didn't grab the daughter Harley gave birth to, too young, too small, too….weepy. instead he grabbed the fox's daughter and was going to brainwash her like he did Harley so many years ago, it'd be fun! And when she was finally calling him daddy, he'd set her on the fox where she'd turn all the training the fox gave her back at him. Oh, he doubted she could beat the fox, the teacher ever teaches the student everything, but he would pull his punches to try not to hurt her and she'll go for the kill. Why it was such a fitting way to say "don't touch the Joker's toys". Oh the fox could keep the weepy shit until she's old enough to break, then he'd come for her too. So much power that man had, but it was so easy to undo him if you knew where to look and all that took was a little watching. He turned back to Harley with a sinister grin and pulled a ball gag from his sleeve. "Open up and say ah, Harley. We're going to have such fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An: yes I know he becomes red robin, but that was out of protest against Damian becoming the Robin to Dick's Batman and him being forced to give up the mantle originally. However in this, Bruce is still alive and it would probably be better negotiated, especially with the addition of Naruto. Falcon would allow him to keep the bird theme and doesn't sound like a fast food restaurant.
> 
> Jiraiya has no listed family name.
> 
> Is it possible to hate yourself twice over after rereading your writings?


	12. Joke's on you part tré

**March, Gotham city**

Every radio and tv in the city found themselves clicked on, computers opened up into a video feed, hacked from multiple sources. On the video was a floating revolving purple and green playing card jester symbol with the words "one moment please" in spray paint effects done underneath. Confusion was widespread as people tried to turn off their TVs and radios, only to discover the song the feed was broadcasting was playing off the emergency siren speakers as well. The song in question: Let's kill tonight by panic at the disco. Raised to painful volumes and tempo, like a nightcore mix, extremely painful to listen to.

When the feed switched to live, it showed the clown prince of crime humming along and waving a finger to the ear bleeding music before someone off screen said something fearfully. He opened his eyes and rocked forward, his mad iconic grin plastered on his face,

"Ah! Hello Gotham! Oh I'll let you get back to whatever rubbish you were watching in a momentarily, except you Phillip, you know who you are, hentai? Really? Well a man has to get stress out somehow, I suppose. Find a woman, really give it to her! If all else fails you could drop one into a vat of chemicals like I did. Speaking of! Did you know the tramp decided to leave me? Me! The bestest, funniest man in all of Gotham. She went and done gone straight, playing hero and helping people. Why, it's a crime against nature! And they say I'm the crazy one. The bat has enough hired help, leave mine alone! And his little pet fox, well he just wasn't happy just working for the bat, no! He had to go and start touching on toys that weren't his to play with!" He stopped and took a breath, "normally I'm a guy who just seeks to bring humor into the world, someone who just wants to be jolly and make people smile, but this time, well, a man has to answer. A lot of men. Oh and women too, I'm an equal opportunist, why even little Timmy too! I see you trying to use mommy's credit card for that silly mobile game. Oh, yes I know all about you, Mr. Fox, how you try to be oh so scary in a fox mask when really all you do is yip in fear and cower behind the big bad Bat, well he won't be able to help you now. See, I've planted joker aerosol dispensers all over Gotham, each one rigged to blow if they detect a certain chemical that you carry. Oh yes, I know all about your ability to be in multiple places at once, how you duplicate into separate places. I had you under a microscope and you never even knew I was there HA! So Foxy boy, we're going to have ourselves a little game while the bat is away. See I've grabbed up four lovely ladies tonight, two from right under your nose! Well ok, I lied a bit there, one's not a lady nor is he lovely, sniveling brat won't shut up really. Here! Let me show you!"

The feed switched to show four different feeds, one had the notorious Harley Quinn struggling and fighting against the restraints that held her to a chair, horrible purple bruises and swelling apparent in her face. In the next was a young girl with her head down, blood streaming from her hairline and from her lips, her skin a painful pale grey, only a domino mask hid her identity. The next was a woman with short black hair and goggles in a tight black jumpsuit and high heels who, just as Harley, was trying to break the bindings on her, and finally the newest Robin sat glaring at the camera with a gag tied around his mouth, in his red armored tunic and pants. His belt, boots, gauntlets and cape had been removed.

Strapped to each one of their chests was a large clown head with a digital display that read "armed" on it. 

"As you can see, I have three lovelies and whatever the new robin is and they're all just electric with excitement to see you!" A hum was heard on the four feeds as all four tensed up and started screaming in agony, the young girl started yelling out in fear once the currents stopped, "tou-san! doko ni iru no? Tou-san? Tasukete, Tou-san!" She was cut off in another scream as electricity coursed through her body again.

"Such a wonderful thing, children, why, once I kill you, I might just take her as my own, teach her how to bring joy and laughs to the world. Now the game, ah ah ah, no peeking and none of that teleportation hack you got. The little markers you put on them were removed, cut right off their skin! So you simply must hear what I've to say. And just to let you know, every oh….say ten minutes or so, the shocks will get worse and worse until KABLAAMO" the lunatic slaps the desk, "their hearts explode, which will set off the other bombs. I give em an hour, little Robin might last that long, who knows! Oh, before I forget! The floors are pressure sensitive, so if anything heavier than those tied in the chair registers, the bombs for the other three will explode as well! Isn't it grand! The joke vs the Joker, place your best folks. Oh and bats? The bombs are ticking! Ahahahaha!" With that the feed dies.

* * *

The air was heavy in the cave when the feed shut off and the reactions were different. Barbara was shivering, seeing the man who put her in the chair, the man who raped her, so unrepentantly hurt others brought her back to that moment where she felt the first gunshot tear through her stomach. Dick had his fist clenched so tightly the seams in his gloves were popping. Stephanie was crying on Tim's shoulder, horrified by what was on screen. Titan, who had flown over for a visit and to talk shop with Bruce, had her hand on Naruto's shoulder. And Bruce? well Bruce was currently being held a foot off the ground by a very very angry Naruto.

"You said she would be alright! You said she was ready for this!" He yelled as his eyes flickered back and forth from blue and red, crimson steam seemed to be radiating off him as he held the bat up.

"I stand by what I said, Naruto. She wasn't supposed to come against the Joker however. She was supposed to be on patrol with Nightwing and Robin tonight." Nightwing flinched, he had been called to the titan's tower for an emergency and had explained that to Bruce.

"I will find her, even if I have to tear this city apart. Gods damn it, Bruce, I can't lose her, she's all I have left!" Bruce landed easily on the ground when Naruto's arm went slack. Titan wrapped the man in a hug, "when we find them, you, Mirai, and I are going to my farm, give you something you've been needing since you got here, some peace and quiet." She shot a glare at Bruce, daring him to disagree who sighed and nodded. He knew she didn't like the fact that he was putting children on the front lines and he probably made a mistake letting Damian join in while the joker was on the loose, let alone Mirai. Snapping his mind to the present, he walked over to the computer and began doing a frame by frame, looking for hints, clues or something. 

"Tim, hack into the city's power grid, something like that requires heavy power and should show up as a drain. Titan, we need the Flash, if you could call him. Nightwing, call cyborg, we need him to monitor and search for the Joker since Oracle can't focus with the Joker playing his sick games, once he gets here, you will work with Kitsune, Titan, and the Flash to secure the hostages. Once Tim has the locations, you four will split up and get the bombs taken care of. They are probably synchronized, so you'll have to remove them simultaneously so make sure to call over the coms when you have them."

Tim immediately got to work, the holo-computer lighting up from his gauntlet, "hey, Bruce? I got five locations. In the general layout of the Joker."

Naruto growled and made a clone, "Where?"

"The highest activity is here, at 35th and main. But we don't know if that's the…" Tim looked around and Kitsune was gone, "one of these days! One of these days I'll get them with that. Show them how it feels." 

A boom tube opened and out stepped a large dark skinned man covered in metal plates. His look had gone under a drastic overhaul since his smashing by Grundy, losing the blue enameled areas and switching to a sleeker armored look. As he walked, he was gesturing to multiple holo-screens that floated by him, moving files and images around and into place **.** Beside him was the flash, wearing his traditional red and yellows, though the design had seemed to change, yellow lines came off the sigil on his chest and flowed out to his toes and fingers and over his cowl. The material looks sleeker as well, probably the newest material to be developed capable of generating less air friction as he moved. 

Sadly, Wally West would never be as fast as Barry Allen or his nephew Bart, the current Kid Flash, but when the world needed the flash, he stepped up into the mantle and did his best. No one knew what happened to Barry, just that he moved as fast as he could to outrun a black specter and all they were able to find was his suit and dust. The only clue was a note he left Iris apologizing, found with speed force burns on the pencil and testimony from Wally who had fought like hell to keep up with the specter, trying to help barry. It had been the rare few times Wally had ever seen absolute terror on Barry's face.

"So little Robin, what's up? Where's the bat and fox?"

"Batman is trying to track down joker bombs that have been planted across Gotham and Kitsune is heading to a marked location. Falcon, can you send the map to Cyborg? You, me, and Flash need to head to the other markers. If you see the Joker, subdue him and try to disarm the system. Flash, I need you to move Falcon to the C point marker on the map here," Titan pointed onto the map at one of the markers, "then head over to D." She moved her finger to another point. Nightwing, you're at point a, I'll drop you off on my way to B. Cyborg, Oracle is too close to this mission and Batman wants her off comms until she can get her head clear, so we need you to run the mission from here. Be warned, we're dealing with the Joker, Flash. Use that brain of yours."

The Flash nodded and put his hand on Falcon's shoulder and blinked into hypertime, a trick Barry had taught him before he vanished. By allowing the speed force to spread over their body, he could bring someone into a state where time slows to a near standstill and seconds become hours. Biggest drawback, he could only do this for one person, needed physical contact, and it was exhausting. The reason he did this was so that he and Falcon could talk and Tim could bring him up to speed completely on the situation. His over energetic mind going over every fact, before his eyes widened. This was an old crime the joker pulled on the Batman. Bruce had probably noticed the similarities already but hadn't said anything, but why?

Ask anybody and they'd tell you that Wally West was an idiot, but he really wasn't. Super..er, Titan knew this and so did the Bat-family, knowing that if he let himself think, he was near genius level in intellect, but had problems slowing down to actually think and got tunneled in a line of thought, drawback of being capable of running faster than light. Hypertime allowed him the time he needed. He had been able to deduce and reenact the same accident that gave Barry his powers, he can look over forensics and see clues, and right now, his gut was saying this was a trap. He tried to tell Tim this, but like everyone else, he got brushed off with Tim saying they went over everything. So with a determined press of his lips, he rocketed to his point, making himself move to his absolute speed. Time stood still for him as he zipped through the traffic and pedestrians that were frozen in the moment. With a loud  **KRAKAKAKOOM!** he broke the sound barrier and the cone of light that formed when he got close to the speed of light. Faster than you could blink, he was at his point, slightly winded and surveying the grounds. He ran quickly around the perimeter for goons and quickly took out the ones he saw out, then he went through the building, blurring through every floor and room. It was at the basement level he found a hidden metal door that led to a lower floor. His gut feeling was going crazy, but lives were at stake so against his better judgment, he descended into the hole.

* * *

  
  


Titan was not amused. The explanation as to why was that the warehouse she was at was empty. She had scanned it over with x-ray vision and saw nothing. With a sigh, she tapped her comlink,

"Cyborg, I'm at my location but the build is empty."

_ "I see your tracker on the map. Odd. Pulling up schematics for the building now. Looks like there's an old prohibition tunnel, can you see it?" _

She looked down beneath the warehouse, focusing her eyes past the structure and underneath it. To her eyes, there was a long shaft that led to another but couldn't penetrate to look inside. Lead. Probably old paint from that era, not too uncommon in towns like Gotham who refused to clean away old buildings, instead building on the decay of the old, though she didn't really have room to talk, the only reason Metropolis renovated was because of some random throwdown she had that leveled city blocks with name any meta villain, since any one of her rogues gallery could destroy standing buildings, some were even capable of destroying planets. 

"Cyborg, I see the shaft, but it has lead paint or something blocking my vision. I'm gonna try digging down and seeing if I can hear anything. Where I am now, I hear nothing."

_ "Gotcha, be careful Titan. Tim radioed in saying that Flash feels like this was a trap and since his build was empty too, I'm leaning towards it. Haven't got word back from the flash yet, might have interference." _

"Copy. Going in." She said as she began to spin. Thanks to her nigh invulnerable skin and strength, if she angled her hands right, she could turn herself into a living drill that could piece anything short of reinforced titanium, downside: it made her incredibly dizzy and she needed a second to get her bearings.

Angling herself, she began to descend into the concrete and foundation, tunneling beside the prohibition shaft as it descended. Letting herself slow to a stop, she listened and could hear the shrill sounds of screaming and began digging in that direction. When she got to the source of the agonized sounds, she stopped and poked a hole through the wall of the underground room and looked in.

"Cyborg, come in."

_ "Ti…...ca….you….Flash….." _

Huffing, she floated away from the wall and up the tunnel she dug.

_ "Titan. Do you read? Flash found Harley. He found the trap but it wasn't for him, but for you. Kryptonite. He was able to vibrate through the wall and is waiting for word to get in and get the bomb. Tim radioed in as well, said he couldn't find anything at all. Nightwing has a woman named Selina Kyle, so you either have Robin or Kage." _

"I have Robin. He doesn't look like he can take much more."

_ "That must mean Kage is at Kitsune's location, but he's not answering comms. We can't move on the bombs until we have confirmation that he is near her. Do you think you can kill the feed for the currents?" _

"Yeah, I saw the main source as well as the camera too. Must have a trace signal or something, see if you can try to find it."

_ "Roger, looking now. Kill the feed wire before it gets worse." _

Floating back down into the tunnel, she flew back to where she had poked a hole and looked and looked through it again. Finding the camera again, she pulled the wall behind it towards her to make a hole large enough for her head and shot her heat vision, burning the wire and shorting out the fuse to the room. "Cyborg, if you can hear me, get the hostages to safety."

She grabbed the now unconscious, ripped the bomb off his chest and flew out the way she came in and threw the bomb hard into the air, easily clearing the stratosphere.

* * *

Harley shivered as she stood in the arctic weather as the Flash held snow to her swollen cheeks, the bomb thrown onto an iceberg a mile away.

* * *

Selina yelled several obscenities and slangs as Nightwing finished dismantling the bomb on top of the lexcorp gotham branch tower.

* * *

The Joker laughed gleefully as the little birdy who grew up searched the warehouse tunnels. Oh he knew they'd call in the speedy ones, the towering titan of krypton and the blundering blur being the most likely, though predicting exactly which mask went where was astronomically difficult to do, but you gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelette. He looked down at the child still screaming in Japanese as the shocks got worse and grinned. Batman can keep his boy blunders, he was going to have a shadow. But first, he needed to break her, bend her to his will. Child's play. 

He burst out in laughter as he thought of the sick pun, never noticing the glowing red eyes around him, the figures hidden in a mixture of cloaking and darkness, the rage filled slitted eyes glaring daggers into him as he continued laughing maniacally. Several kunai speared through the computer, the wires on the floor, and the remote in his hands, causing the Joker to drop the device and look up. The air turned cold and ominous as he stared at the plethora of extremely infuriated red glowing eyes. 

"Well that's not funny. Not funny at all. So! You're the fox of Gotham city, huh? I'd introduce myself, but I'm sure Harley must've told you all about me. So come at me, you pittering nincompoop! Let uncle Joker show you how fisticuffs are thrown!" 

A blur and then something hard crashed into Joker's chin sending him into the air, then another to his gut, knocking the air out of his lungs as the force threw him into the banister. He tried to swing at one of the blurs, but his fist was caught, his arm was twisted until the bone cracked behind his back and he was shoved into another punch that sent him stumbling sideways. He quickly pulled the gun he kept in his jacket inner breast pocket and fired a round, causing a demonic laugh to spread through the room as the fox he shot shimmered and faded away into smoke. The laugh came from all sides, everywhere around him, causing the Joker to aim and fire again and again, his smile gone as he kept getting more and more smoke. Then finally the slide locked to the rear, he had fired his last round to the gun so he threw it to the side and shouted at the shadows,

"STOP LAUGHING!"

A kick came to the back of his knees and a fist pushed him hard in the back of the head lifting him again before a boot knocked him to the floor where his nose cracked and started to bleed. Just as quickly, a grip on his lapels lifted him up to look into the angry red eyes, fury burning like a wildfire.

**"Jack Napier. I pity you."** A slap sent him back to the floor, a hand grabbed the acid flower on his jacket and ripped it and the hidden pouch out, tearing the jacket with it.

**"Once a failed comedian, now a two bit thug who thinks his brand of comedy is funny. I don't know what's more depressing, that purple suit you should only see Steve Harvey in, your jokes, or your obvious hard on for Batman. You think that you'll make him laugh, but jokes on you, ass-clown, the man has no sense of humor, he wouldn't know one if it bit him."**

The Joker tried to stand up, his eyes wide as three more Kitsune stepped out of the shadows. Then four more behind him. He was grabbed by the throat and slung into the wall, another blow catching him in the ribs, forcing blood and bile up his throat as two ribs snapped as he was roughly thrown to the edge of the raised platform of the room.

**"You made a blistering mistake little man, pissing off a one man army who can walk through tanks. You thought I would be like batman, rough you up a little then send you happily back to Arkham where you'll just escape again. Let me burst that bubble for you. I've walked through hell and bitch slapped the devil, I've stood at heaven's gate and made an angel fall. You, little jackie boy, with your erection for the straightest man in Gotham, are one man, while I am Legion. You won't be walking out after I break your spine and beat you with your own legs."**

As the fox talked, the air got heavier and heavier, as if Joker was standing before a primordial deity, the dread and fear rising as he backed up from the wall of glowing red eyes.

**"What's the matter, jackie boy? Come now, you were talking all that good shit on the broadcast, what happened? Hit me with a crowbar! make me laugh! summon your goons! shoot me! Fight me!"** He leaned in real close to the Joker's ear, " **give me a hug.** " 

The old rusted bannister Joker was leaning against broke, and the Joker hit the floor below, bouncing slightly with an audible pop as his shoulder dislocated. He stood up and stared at the crowd of foxes and suddenly began to giggle in his insanity, the giggle becoming a chuckle then a full blown laugh.

"Oh, bravo! Why you actually made me feel scared for a moment, but there is one thing you're forgetting. I'm The Joker! The Harlequin of hate! The Clown Prince of Crime! I've looked literal gods in the face and laughed" he took a step forward, not paying attention to the floor with all his attention on the crowd glaring at him as he put his foot down on the live end of the cut wire. Immediately his entire body began to seize up and fry, the high voltage tore through his body but still he laughed. He laughed as his blood began to boil and his skin began to melt, he laughed as his hair burned away and bolts arced off him onto the metal surfaces of his buttons.

All the while, Naruto just watched with a blank face. Bruce may have told him to kill no one, but he never said he had to save everyone. As the lights began to flicker, he dispelled his clones and began to untie Kage from the chair after ripping the deactivated bomb from her chest. Just as he finished unbuckling her arms from the chair, the door burst open and a squad of cops charged in and stopped, staring in disbelief as the corpse of the joker continued to twitch and smoke, the cable now melted and burned. The commissioner stepped in, took a look around the room then at the Kitsune still untying Kage. With a sigh, he walked over and began to help him, ignoring the tensing of the fox's muscles and the red eyes that shot up to look at him, on the outside at least. On the inside, the demonic red eyes truly scared the shit out of him but he wouldn't show it. 

"I'm assuming you, like Batman, you have a recorder on your suit showing what happened, Agent Kitsune?"

Agent? Oh right, the thing with Waller. He nodded.

"Waller already called and informed me that she authorized lethal force when the broadcast was sent out, so we can't arrest you if you did it, but I need to know for the peace of mind, did you kill the clown?"

"No. Did my level best to scare the living shit out of him, but he killed himself. Stepped on the live cable I cut to save Kage."

"She's a mite young to be a vigilante, don't you think," an overweight guy in a trench coat and fedora asked.

"Vigilante: a member of a self-appointed group of citizens who undertake law enforcement in their community without legal authority, typically because the legal agencies are thought to be inadequate." Naruto stated quietly.

The obese figure scoffed, "I know what a vigilante is, ya lunatic."

Naruto took the limp unconscious girl into his arms and stood up, "obviously not, sir. Seeing as the commissioner just informed you, I am an active government law enforcement agent. Therefore my actions have legal government authorization and thus neither myself nor Kage are vigilantes. However, you are correct. She is much too young and was giving a mask against my better judgment, and tonight proves the world wasn't ready for Kage and that she wasn't ready for the world. I doubt her or Robin will offer much complaints after tonight. Now. If you will excuse me, I have a doctor to see."

And with that he walked out of the room. The heavy set guy moved aside and scratched his head. As the Commissioner just rubbed his eyes under his glasses. He felt the presence he'd grown used to over the years behind him,

"You know what happened?" The commissioner said without turning, just walking out of the room and letting his blues do their job, the presence followed.

"He didn't kill him, but he didn't save him either. He took a loophole through the rules I laid out for him. I arrived just in time to see the Joker step on the cable."

"I can't blame him to be honest. Were I in his shoes and Barbara in Kage's, I would have done the same thing. When he did….what he did to Babs….I…. I wanted to see him burn, I wanted to watch as that piece of filth charred to ash and crumble into nothing. So I can't blame the man for not doing anything to save him."

"I know Jim. Much as I've tried to help the man, I felt this was coming for a long time. Just was afraid it'd be me or one of the Robins to do it. Especially after the second one died." The commissioner placed his hand on the Bat's shoulder and walked forward out of the abandoned meat factory they were in. He'd still be on scene to observe clean up.

* * *

As Kitsune watched, the paramedics strap Kage to a gurney, he finally let go of the rage he'd been drawing from, the burning fury and simply breathed. He was scared Mirai was far beyond saving, but there was always hope. He had never thought he'd be able to talk again, but here he was, capable of holding a long verbal conversation, so he was sure that Mirai would be ok. He had specifically asked for Dr. Thompkins to be alerted and once they got her loaded on board, he climbed in the back out of the way. But even with his hopes, every muscle spasm, every twitch of her fingers, every time her pulse beat a little bit faster scared him. It had taken them 35 minutes to find the locations and get to the hostages, meaning there were three high powered shocks that went into an eight year old body, leaving black burn spots on her temples, arms, and legs, with angry red blistering skin around the edges. The paramedics counted 3 broken ribs, her left arm splintered at humerus (the bone where your bicep is located) and radius (the bone towards your thumb), her left leg at the tibia (the shin bone). She had cuts on the inside of her cheeks, presumably from the blow that cracked her jawbone and a force induced contusion on her scalp, like she was hit with a heavy object. On her stomach was a roughly cut rectangle where his marker was put that was still leaking blood and looked sicking against her grey skin. She was suffering from heavy blood loss on top of everything. 

He looked out the door windows and saw titan flying behind them, who waved when she saw Naruto notice her, giving him a grim smile.

_ "You got your com on Kitsune?" _

He nodded

_ "Want me to call Soranik and Doctor Light?"  _

He thought for a minute and in a hoarse voice, he whispered "yes, please."

* * *

  
  


**_Clown prince of crime unmasked and dethroned_ **

_ By Vicki Vale _

_ In a spree of terror spanning fifteen years, one of Gotham's most notorious criminals met their end to the most deadly of killers: complacency. That's right folks you read this correctly, complacency.  _

_ We all saw the broadcast of the horrifying torture of two young children, Gotham's own resident cat lover and the whipping girl turned hero. We watched as the most deranged lunatic ever to escape from Arkham savagely beat and electrocuted these four victims, one of whom still has not recovered and lays in a coma. After the broadcast, a government issued death sentence was handed to the local law enforcement, stating that enough was enough and demanded the mad clown be put down. However, before the police and government officials could track him down, someone had beat them to the clown prince. I'm talking, of course, about Kitsune. _

_ Special agent Kitsune, real name left unknown, had been publicly called out, as many of you are aware of after the broadcast, but the most horrifying part? The little girl was his daughter! As any loving father does, Kitsune sought to protect his precious ones, who had been forced like Quinn into a costume and mask to taunt her father. _

_ The police allowed this reporter to view some of the footage from the fight leading up to the death and it was clear: it wasn't the government's fox who laid the joker down, but attention to detail.  _

_ The Joker, birth name Jack Napier, former chemist grad and victim of an accident led by a robbery gone wrong, was notorious with his feud with Gotham's resident Dark Knight. Cause of death: electrocution when he stepped on a live power cable while trying to taunt Kitsune. Was this accidental or one of Napier's sick games? Sadly the answer to that went with the Joker to his grave. Commissioner Gordon went on record saying this, "it's no lie to say I had bad blood with the clown. After what the psychopath did to my family, I don't have any remorse or grief for his death. Is that something a blue blood like me should say? No. But as a father, I would have done the exact same thing Kitsune did, confront the bastard. With four different judges signing off on the kill order as well as government sanction, I probably would have tried like hell to rip his head off his shoulders. That said, we in blue will do our level best to help those who need help, but the joker was just too far gone to help and we tried many, many times. You can lead a horse to the river, but you can't make them drink." _

_ More on the Joker, page 3. Kitsune page 4 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has knowledge in writing a newspaper article and feels I could do better with the article I wrote, please send help. I've never worked for a newspaper and don't exactly know how its supposed to be structured.


	13. Look who's laughing now part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, just a heads up, this chapter contains a lemon. I've marked it so you can skip it if you want.

**Gotham, Wayne manor, March 1**

Harleen Quinzell stared at the fire, watching her old harlequin suit burn. When Bruce told her that The Joker died, she didn't believe him, the clown had seemed so larger than life, so dominant in her life even before she became the cupid of crime (that is seriously one of her titles), he had fascinated her. No one had ever done a proper study of his insanity until her. He would consistently run the psychiatrists around in circles in his mental evaluations, making them diagnose him with the incorrect mental illnesses consistently, while laughing as they tried to figure out why the meds weren't working, he had told her this was his favorite form of entertainment. She never understood why the so called "experienced" psychiatrists never took the time to just simply observe him, there had been cameras posted to be able to see every conceivable angle in his cell, so why didn't they simply watch the old recordings? When she was allowed into Arkham for her doctoral thesis, she had only been allowed to talk to the "safer" crazies, like the riddler. 

Ed made her giggle when she talked to him, so full of himself, but playfully so for her. Each time she visited, he would give her a riddle and she would play with it during her studies and come back with the solution, which kept him entertained. She made sure to word her phrases so it sounded like it was incredibly difficult for her to conceive an answer as he could turn violent if he saw a slight to his intellect and simply saying a riddle he came up with was easy was considered taboo. He had slit a guards throat with a plastic spork when the man had answered too quickly and said it was a riddle his kid could solve. So even if it was a riddle she solved within seconds, she kept the answer to herself until the end of the day which kept Ed passive. He did throw out some good difficult brain twisters sometimes and preened when she praised him for it, which left his actual psychiatrist baffled. Saying things like she was a natural or she was gifted with the crazies. All the while she studied the old recordings of The Joker. She noticed patterns, some intentional and some subliminal. She watched his tells and bluffs, learning his body language. No one knew his real name, just that he was a loony toon. They had given up trying to cure him, in other words.

Her thesis paper was published, but sadly her experiment was rigged by her professor. She brought up charges against the saboteur and gave evidence, such as the altered paperwork and the files she kept as a back up on a thumbdrive, on top of video recordings. Her roommate had been a kleptomaniac so she had hidden nanny cameras and had recorded the teacher altering her files which led to his termination. 

The new course professor approved her case study and allowed her to run her experiment which proved her thesis on how the chemicals released to the brain that caused the complex emotions of love could make someone throw away their inhibitions. With the new professor's help, she was able to concoct a serum meant to make the brain release these chemicals for the test and was able to prove anyone would literally do anything for love, allowing her to graduate with her PhD in psychiatry. Sadly, her idea was later used by a disgruntled professor who used the formula as a perfume to rob banks and almost beat Nightwing, killing her friend and professor, as well as her then boyfriend who had met with the disgruntled chemistry professor and the psychology professor to discuss his "think drink", in the process of stealing the formula. 

When she turned twenty-eight **(an)** , she was hired on by Arkham as a junior psychologist under Doctor Hugo Strange and continued to observe the Joker, before being allowed to talk to him. The man had just been so charismatic and charming that he just swept her off her feet, it wasn't until she saw under the mask that she learned this was a lie. For two years, she let herself be abused, thinking, hoping, she could fix him, help the charismatic guy she saw come out of his darkness, despite everything everyone told her. 

When she first met Ivy, she had just started interning and had to stop the Arkham guards from torching her with a flamethrower, which Ivy later repaid with saving her life when the riddler made a bid to escape, using Quinzel as a hostage. Strange had been ok with her dying if it prevented his escape and ordered the sniper to take the shot, but both were stopped when Ivy, who also made for an escape in the confusion left by the riddler, grabbed Nigma in a vine and pulled Harleen to safety and then promptly surrendered and was burned again by the sadistic guards. When Harley visited Ivy later, she had healed mostly, due to her mutated biology, and was shivering in the corner. They had a small conversation where Harley learned that the backstory the joker had given her was in fact Ivy's childhood.

She tossed another log as the suit burned, sighed and rubbed her face. This September she'd be thirty-four, and what did she have to show for her life? She still had her doctorate, but she couldn't practice medicine unless she changed her name and had her records expunged. She was essentially homeless, only allowed to live in Wayne manor due to Bruce's sponsorship of her rehabilitation. The final kicker was that she was an unmarried single mother, who probably would never have custody of her daughter, and a known villain. Oh sure, the public didn't know Harley Quinn was Harleen Quinzell, but the government did. Waller had made _that_ clear enough. 

She didn't notice the tears that slipped from her eyes, how could she had been so stupid?! Promising career, a bright future and she threw it all away. Now she was trapped in a cage of politics with every move she made put under a microscope. Not to mention what it was doing to Ivy, who had willingly stepped into this cage only to get Harley the help she needed. She had even admitted that to the government agent who interviewed her. She did admit to Harley that Batman and Orchid had good ideas that showed more progress than anything she did as an eco-terrorist, but still. She gave up her freedom to get Harley help with her pregnancy. When she had approached Batman with the idea to toss away the identity of Harley Quinn, he simply raised an eyebrow, Ivy however had sat down and helped her design the new alias of Okami, which at the time was meant as a pun on Naruto's Kitsune, Ivy likening her flirting with him like wolf chasing a shy fox. It seemed to fit too, since she was partnered with Kitsune as well which Nightwing dubbed "the fox and the hound" duo. 

Naruto. he seemed like the only bright light to this entire situation. He was intelligent, not a genius outside of combat mind you, but smart enough. He was willing to ask questions if he didnt understand something, a lot of times making Harley stop and think about some of the stuff he'd ask. He was hopelessly optimistic, looking for the silver lining in skies of gray. And his charisma. Once he stopped a jumper just by sitting next to them and talking to them. Simply talking. He had the guy laughing with tears in his eyes within just ten minutes, telling a story of some dumb thing he had done in his past or some prank he'd pulled. They stayed the whole night with the guy, just to show that the man wasn't alone in the world, though the guy had been a bit hesitant when Harley sat down beside Kitsune. You couldn't really know Naruto without liking him, he just had that sort of charismatic warmth. Oh he could turn vindictive on a drop of a hat, and if you threatened the ones he loved, he would break you, as witnessed in the fight with the Joker.

Naruto had admitted that he hadn't planned on doing much more than seriously hurting the clown and scaring him, but he had also been livid when he saw the feed of Mirai being tortured. Bruce had been apoplectic with the torture of Damian but still had played by the Joker's rules. Naruto however changed the game. He had headed directly to the source and rolled through like a raging storm. She had watched the footage, how Kitsune owned the fight, never really letting the joker use his psychotic charisma to play mind games which was Joker's foil in the end as his narcissistic pride demanded he come out on top and since he couldn't, he went blind with rage which led to his downfall. Naruto had unknowingly turned the Joker's own game against him, which Harley pointed out and he had shrugged before returning to the hospital where Mirai lay unresponsive. 

He was so broken with Mirai like this, enough so that Batman had told him to take a break from Kitsune and be there for Mirai, (the man had a heart, who'da thunk?) And since Kitsune was benched, apparently so was she since she was his partner. The healers and doctors had done everything to help her, but the electric burns to her nerves and the mental damage was severe. Not to mention the strained muscles that had worsened the bone fractures. The paramedics hadn't known whether or not she would make it past the hour.

There was a huff beside her as someone sat down hard in one of the chairs, the room taking on an unique peaceful state that followed one person around.

"No sleep tonight, fishcakes?" She asked, not even looking back to look at him.

When he responded, he sounded tired and frustration clear in his voice, "can't sleep. Can't relax."

She turned to look at him over her shoulder. In the last week, he had stopped grooming himself, his hair was disheveled, his stubble unkempt, his eyes were bloodshot and there were bags under his eyes. In short, he looked like a b rated zombie. He needed rest, badly.

She turned back to the fire thoughtfully. He was a good man, with a good heart, could she really follow that rabbit down its hole again? Would he be abusive and cruel like the Joker was? Could she take that risk? She looked back at the man she had come to like. If she gave herself to him, would he burn her? Sure, she flirted with him like hell and wanted him physically, but if she opened up to him, would he take her as she was? Could he love her? 

She closed her eyes and made her decision. Turning, she grabbed Naruto's wrist causing him to look up at her, 

"Come with me fishcake." She said softly.

He must have seen her shaky determination in her eyes, as his eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Come on fish cakes, up."

He stood and she pulled him away from the fire and towards her room where she stopped at the door,

"Ok, right here, right now, I'm giving you a chance, Naruto Uzumaki. If you come into this room, I am going to help you unwind and sleep. Something you desperately need." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself, this was the point of no return, "what I'm offering is me. I like you Naruto and would like to see if this is something that can work and need you to trust me like I'm trusting you. So this the choice I'm offering: join me, I rock your world, or you walk away and this offer never happens again. No flirting, no innuendo, this is the choice I'm giving you."

"Harley…" he started before she put a finger on his lips

"No. If you like me like I you, this is how I do. Plus, you need this. We can talk semantics later. Like I said I'm offering myself to you Naruto, I'm trusting you with my being and need to know you trust me. I need you to say it, to show me I can trust you with all of me. If you don't like me like I you, then simply walk away. No hard feelings, no broken hearts."

"You're lying." He looked her hard in the eyes, suspicion evident.

"Excuse me?"

"I walk away and it will hurt you. Your… you're afraid I'm going to hurt you like Napier did, aren't you?" He said, making Harley stop and stare at him. How did he read her like that, that was her best damned poker face, she gave no tells so how?

"I...um" she stammered.

"Lee, I do like you, and I am attracted to you, but I want more than just sex. I want a relationship. If you want me to trust you, then show my how. You want me to love you, then guide me. You're offering yourself to me? I want your offer, but I don't want just sex. I want to have more than just sex, you know?" Even with his heavy blush, his eyes were burning with determination as he said this. And just like that her resolve crumbled. Her uncertainty and doubts rushing back to the forefront of her mind.

"Will….will you hurt me?" She asked before she could stop herself.

"I never go back on my word if I can help it. That is my way of life, my nindo." He said with a small smile.

"That wasn't an answer."

"I won't if I can help it. You have my word." 

She fidgeted where she was standing. She hadn't expected him to turn this around on her. Maybe in the future she would ask him, but now she was uncertain. Her plan had simply been to play on his lust, make him cum and help him relax and test him along the way. She could still test him, but now that he had said the words she was unsure. This was essentially what she wanted with him, but the fear was holding her back. 

"God dammit Naruto," she whispered before grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss. She had made her choice, she would give him the chance and it would break her if he burned her like the joker did. Immediately his arms were around her. When she broke the kiss, she looked him in the eyes,

"I trust you. If you will have me."

"Then guide me. I am blind." He said, making her look at him oddly.

Sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his head, "it was a line from my godfather's books I thought was appropriate. I've never….you know...so I'm blind in the how to mmph" he was cut off again as she yanked his head back down in a searing kiss. When she broke it this time, she pulled away and opened her door and walked in, stopping just long enough to look over her shoulder and say "then follow me."

**\-----------long, boring lemon begins----------**

When he nervously stepped into the room she shut and locked the door, leaning against it hesitantly. She could see he was as nervous about this as she was and stood in the center of the room awkwardly rubbing his arm. Questions kept popping into her head, could she really do this? Did she really want a relationship? She looked up into Naruto's eyes and gazed into them, allowing herself to fall into the deep ocean of his cerulean blues, there was fear, doubt, uncertainty, want, desire, pain, determination, so many emotions reflected in his eyes. So many facets like a gem but there was also something in them she didn't expect to see. Love.

It wasn't a burning wildfire of passion, it was probably barely a spark in his eyes, but she wanted to see it grow. Answering her own question, yes, she did want to see where this goes. Walking slowly toward him, she grabbed a hold on his loose black t-shirt and pulled him in for another kiss, reaching her hands under his shirt and rubbing the abs she had admired from a distance, running her fingernails into the grooves of his defined muscles. She jumped a little when she felt his hands under her own shirt, though they didn't do much more than just squeeze her hips and hold her to him. 

'Oh yeah, he doesn't know what to do'

She broke the kiss and looked hard at him, her eyebrow slightly quirked.

"Fishcake, I like to be rubbed. Feel me, explore my body, don't just look, you're allowed to touch me. I'm not going to get mad." She kissed his jawline, giggling when he shivered, "don't be scared of little ol me. Ooo, you told me before your godfather wrote smut, what would one of his characters do in this moment?" 

He looked up at the ceiling in thought, "um, well there was one scene where the protagonist threw the girl on his bed and began to lick her... Um...down there."

Harley giggled, "it's called a pussy, fishcake, you're allowed to talk dirty here. Was she wearing pajamas like me or completely nude?"

"Oh, um… I'd have to look but I think she was just in her panties."

"Hmm….maybe later, first these need to go." She knelt down and pulled at the waistband of his shorts and boxers, his hands immediately grabbing to hold them up. She looked up at him and he slowly let go and she drew his bottoms down to the floor. 

Huh, shaved. Hygienic. 

He flinched when she wrapped her hand around his girth and slowly began to stroke it, "breathe big guy. Breathe and relax. Let yourself be in this moment. Your cock is beautiful by the way. I almost expected a monster down here some of the things I've seen you do. Dunno if I can handle what you got but it's far less scary than what I imagined." She giggled for a moment before leaning forward and giving his cock a playful lick. "I gotta be honest, I've never actually done a virgin before so I don't really know if I'm guiding you right." She licked his hardening cock again, this time, more lingering and slowly before taking the head into her mouth, making him groan slightly, and giving it a light suckle and releasing it with a pop. She looked up at Naruto's face, bursting into laughter at his wide eyes. 

"What? Did you like that?" She asked teasingly, receiving a nod as she kept stroking his shaft. With a coy grin she asked, "do you want little bitty Harley to suck your cock?" He nodded again and she gave him a smile and let go of his dick, "sit down on the floor. You're taller than me and it'll hurt my neck if I keep at this angle" 

With a plop and a thud, his ass was on the floor. she giggled and began stroking his length again. Biting her lip, she leaned down and blew on his head, "Naruto, don't be quiet, grunt, moan, yell, it helps me know I'm doing good. Be vocal too, talk to me, tell me I'm doing good. And remember, you can touch me, don't be afraid, I'll say something if I don't like it," she leaned forward and took him back into her mouth, slowly bobbing and drawing, pulling on his cock. He opened his legs wider and a loud "oh kami" escaped his lips. 

Honestly? Naruto had fought world ending threats, but women scared him. Seeing this vision pleasuring him left him, well, confused. Instinct was telling him to put his hand on her head and make her go faster, he wanted to be deeper, but rationality didn't want to push her. He thought quickly to the smut jiraiya made him read and an idea popped into his head. He leaned over and carefully lifted up her chin, receiving a confused "wha?" from Harley as he sat her back down. With a grin he kissed her nose, making her go cross eye and scrunch it up cutely and whispered his idea into her ear. Her eyebrows shot up and she grinned at him and giggled out, "my my, foxy, how bold of you,"

She crawled out from between his legs and over to his side before leaning over and taking his cock back into her mouth as she raised her small butt slightly. He pulled her butt closer and hooked his fingers under her waistband and slowly dragged her pajama shorts down to her knees. Thinking hard, he tried to remember what happened next in the story. He was a bit distracted by the beautiful curve of her ass though, like a perfect upside down heart. Her pussy was swollen and moisture was condensing around the lips. Reaching under her, he gently massaged her taut stomach down to the nexus of her hips and felt for the nub, and when he found it, he began to press firmly on the skin above it looking for the sweet spot the book described. Hearing a long pleasure moan that vibrated from her stomach to her tongue to his cock making him bite his thumb to keep from shouting out in pleasure, he continued pressing on the spot that got a reaction. The book said to apply chakra but with his control that probably wasn't a good idea. He saw more moisture leak out of her pussy as he kept rubbing the spot, and out of curiosity, he leaned up and gave her pussy lips a lick. Her back bowed and pressed her cunt harder into his mouth and he got another moan that vibrated through his dick making him grunt before he could stop it. She widened her legs as she looked back at him, stroking his saliva coated cock

"Damn Foxy, don't stop. God, that feels so good. fuck!" She exclaimed as she laid her head on his thigh. He pressed just a touch harder as he licked her little cunt again, letting the tip of his tongue drag between her lips, getting another moan of appreciation. She started slightly rocking her hips to the motions of his hand as he continued licking her hot spot. After a microsecond of hesitation, he delved his tongue into her folds and stuck it out as far into her core as he could, getting a hard grunt from Harley and an "oh fuck". She was back on his cock with a vengeance, bobbing faster and stroking his cock as she went. She was thrusting her hips now, pressing hard into his fingers as he continued to lick her cunt. He pulled a leg of her pajama bottoms off her and pulled her butt completely over him, widened her legs further, as he pulled her pussy to his mouth. Taking her clit between his teeth and sucking on it gently, he got a defining reaction from Harley as well as a slightly wet face as she jerked her head back and let out a loud groan, pressing her hips into his face, grinding her clit into his mouth, 

"Oh shit, oh fuck. Fishcake, fuck. Don't you fucking stop, oh god lick my pussy, eat my pussy, shit! I'm cumming, fuck!" She yelled and she leaned back, supporting herself on her hips and pushing her weight and her cunt into his face. He didn't exactly know what he was doing so he opened his mouth and covered as much of her box as he could with his lips and sucked, running his tongue through her cleft like the book described and she tensed up tightly, squeezing his shoulders with her knees. A taste he never knew existed entered his mouth and he swallowed, which made the suction more intense against her. He could hear her breathing hard, as he swallowed the oddly sweet tangy tasting liquid. He didn't really know what words to use to describe but he really liked it as he lapped up the flowing juices. 

"Fuck! Calm down Foxy, let me breathe. Shit. Been a bit since I came like that." She rolled to her side beside him, her head leaning against his chest. "Fuck." she shivered, "ok, mr virgin, where'd you learn to do that?"

"Um heh, I uh...didn't actually know what I was doing." He awkwardly supplied. She lifted slightly up and looked at him with wide eyes, 

"You're not kidding, you really don't know whatcha did." He nodded an affirmation and she plopped back against his chest. "Love, you were pressing against a bundle of nerves around my clit, something I didn't even know was there honestly, and I really, really liked it. When you licked my nub, it felt like a bolt of hot lightning shot through me." She looked up at Naruto, "next time you eat me out, don't press so hard on that spot. Tease me with it, let it build up by slowing down the motions as you lick my honey pot, yeah? Too hard an orgasm and I will be too sensitive to continue and it'll hurt if you stick ya dick in me after. Good job though for you first time though, damn, I was seeing spots. Yeah, I really liked that. Any questions for me, my little student?"

"Um...when you uh"

"Blew you?"

"Yeah, when you blew me, I wanted to put my hand on your head and push deeper."

"So why didn't cha?"

"I didn't know if that was ok." She dropped her forehead onto his chest

"Foxy, I'm a submissive by nature. I like being manhandled sometimes. I like when my man takes control. If we're in a relationship, that makes you my man. So when we get frisky, take control. Tell me I'm doing good. Spank me if I'm not, or if I ask for it. Hell just spank me just because. If I'm going to be your lady, we need to teach you how to fuck. I mean fuck. Making love is nice and romantic but sometimes, I just want to be railed and spanked. You want to shove your cock down my throat, I can take it. You want to slam your cock into me like a sledgehammer, mistah, you better bring it on. This Harley likes long hard rides." She blinked. "You never came, didja?"

Naruto blinked and shook his head. She laughed and got onto her knees, "man I am glad Wayne has soft carpets, rug burns are a bitch" she said as she straddled his thighs and stroked his cock, "you ready to become a man?" She asked with a crooked grin, which fell when she saw he didn't understand what she meant. She groaned before sliding the moist heated lips of her pussy along the shaft of his cock, "how bout this, you ready to put your key in your Harley and go for a ride?" That got a reaction as his eyes widened.

She lifted up on her knees and lowered herself onto his cock, rolling her head back and moaning as she felt him widening her core, savoring each small gain as more and more of his length entered her, letting her warmth envelop his vein ribbed phallus. She lifted her pajama top, just a loose tee, and tossed it to the side and unclasped her bra. She grinned as his eyes were drawn to her puppies and rolled her hips, "mmm sit up Foxy. I like my tits played with when I'm being fucked. I like my man to suck on my nipples and bite at the skin around them. Light bites, ya not trying ta crush grapes. If I'm not going fast enough, grab my hips and thrust inta me. If I'm going too fast, slow me down. Make me match your rhythm. Now, I got a nice hard cock inside me and I want a ride!" She started slowly rocking on his cock, lifting up off him and slamming back down and rolling her hips moaning as she felt him hit places she forgot she had, it had been four years so shut it. She was confused though, for a virgin, he was holding back longer than she thought they were supposed to. He was grunting and showing every sign he was enjoying it, but he still hadn't come. She got back into it, slamming her pussy down in his shaft, shuddering and moaning when he started pawing at her tits, exploring them and squeezing them. When he took a nipple into his mouth, she cried out in pleasure and nibbled on his earlobe as she kept sawing herself with his delicious prick. She could feel another orgasm building up in pressure when something happened that shocked her. 

He began rubbing her backdoor with a slimy finger. Bold mother fucker! She moaned loudly as his finger began to match her rhythm and the pressure built to a zenith before popping like an explosion of ecstasy, she came, hard with dots blocking her vision. He was already there, kissing her as she rose out her orgasm, his rough slimey finger burning into her backdoor in unexplored territory, "master." She blurted out before she realized what she said. Oh shit, now he was going to think she was a weirdo, way to fuck it all up. She tried to get up, but that was quickly quelled when he began to nip at her neck. It threw her for a loop when he stood up holding her to him, making her wrap her legs around his waist out of instinct and laid her onto the bed on her back.

"You want me to take control pet, I'm taking control" he growled in a husky voice as he pulled her hips to the edge of the bed and rammed his cock into her, causing her to yelp loudly.

"You like that don't you, how I'm ramming my….cock into you?" He leaned down and took her lips, tasting the slight saltiness of the light sweat forming in her face, which she readily surrendered to him as he lifted her leg to his shoulder and really began thrusting into her,

"Yes, fuck, I love it! So good! Fuck me Foxy, pound my pussy! Oh god!"

she cried out again and threw her head back into the bed as he powered through another one of her orgasms, the silky walls enveloping his cock fluttering and tightening around him, he cock like a steel piston churning her pussy, slamming into her down to the root of his dick.

"You like my cock inside of you, pet?" She was on cloud nine and grunted an affirmative. She could feel his cock swelling, and getting harder.

"Oh gawd, fuck me." She had started to sweat heavier, drops forming and running across her skin as she cried out from another orgasm, the force of his thrusts making her tits bounce deliciously.

"Ugh you're me breaking me fishcake. You're gonna break me. Cum for me foxy, please. Come inside me, mark my pussy, it's yours, god, oh fuck, why haven't you come yet?"

"Soon, pet. You want me to c-cum inside you and make you mine? You want my cock to be the only one that'll ever satisfy you? Say you want it. Say you want me to…c-cum." He said as he slammed hard into her core, the head of his cock hitting her deepest parts.

"Please cum inside me, please spray my pussy with your cum, oh god, please make me y-yours. God, I love how your cock fills me!"

He thrust hard into her, the impact of his skin lightly bruising hers from the force as the tip of his cock broke through her cervix and pulsed. It was like liquid heat pouring through her being and she came hard on his dick, harder than she had ever had from a guy, a loud scream sounded out in the fog of her ecstasy, in her voice. Her eyes rolled back and her muscles relaxed as she collapsed boneless onto the bed, unable to do more than weakly moan and grunt as her pussy tightened like a vice on his still pulsing cock before oblivion took her in an ecstatic embrace.

**\--end lemon--**

Electricity and static clouded her senses and the next thing she knew, Ivy was sitting beside her telling Naruto how to rub her head like she was, pushing her hair back,

"- when she collapses like that, it's ok, kid that means she was really really enjoying what you were doing. When she comes too and sees you panicking, she'll first wonder what happened, then begin to wonder if she did something wrong. You probably don't know the importance of aftercare," she said before muttering under her breath, "god knows the Joker never did." She shook her head. "If this happens again, just tuck her in and sit with her, wait until she wakes and talk to her or cuddle her and give her plenty of kisses, as childish as that may sound. The chemicals you release post orgasm can lead to depression if not handled correctly, so just let her subconscious feel that you're still there. Really should have warned him how long it's been for you, harls, haven't seen you this backed up before." Naruto jumped and saw how Harley was trying not to bust out laughing, her sky blue eyes crinkled in mirth as she curled her finger at him before grabbing him by the back of the neck as he leaned closer and kissing him hard.

"I think I'm gonna skip out. Oh! Before I forget, Harley, you did start taking the pill, right? Cause I don't think he knows what a condom is." And with that, Ivy shut the door.

Harley's eyes widened and she paled. She hadn't actually planned on them fucking until tonight and he just coated her uterus with his man milk. She'd talk to the doctor in the morning. She didn't think she was ovulating, so there was a chance she didn't just get knocked up again, but always safe to ask the expert. She smiled though, feeling the warmth of a good fucking and noticed naruto was staring at her. 

She reached over and took his hand with a smile. He wasn't perfect, but he gave effort and listened, way better than her last male flings. Sure she had dated some ladies too, Ivy being the most recent one. They had tried dating and had broken up when she wound up back in the arms of the Joker somehow and it honestly shocked her that Ivy was willing to walk the straight and narrow for her. Their friendship now felt more like a sibling bond instead of anything romantic and this attraction to Naruto was showing signs of being more than an attraction.

"Stay with me?" She asked quietly.

"As long as you'll let me." He replied before kissing her again.

That night they didn't fuck like beasts, instead they made slow love in each other's arms before falling asleep with her head on his chest.

  
  


Crime alley. A filthy place filled with the scum and filth of Gotham. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than here. From the shadows stepped a man in a tight armored grey jumpsuit with repelling straps around his legs and wearing tight fitted combat steel toes with an insulated rubber sole. On his thighs were two modified M1911 .45 caliber pistols in tight holsters that held them tight to his legs. On his torso hung a frayed, stained, and rugged brown leather biker's jacket that hid two more pistols, .45 Smith and Wesson m&ps with suppressors on the muzzles. He flicked away the cigarette he was smoking on before sliding on a red helmet that locked into place with mechanisms latching behind his head. A slight hum engaged as the HUD booted up on the thin screen of the visor, syncing with the encrypted signal to the hidden processor on his belt buckle as he looked up to the moon. 

The city may have the bat clowns, but tonight, he had business with a fox.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An: This fic is a mess.
> 
> I won't tell you how much smut I read trying to do my best to write my first lemon scene, nor will I tell you how much I researched erotic massages. What I will say is I tried to make it as real as possible for his stats and hers for the first one. I finally got the two together and coupled! (Does his little happy dance)
> 
> Before I get harped at about how Harley isn't a submissive woman, I am going to say this, subs aren't passive shy creatures. They can be loud, brash, feisty domineering people, what makes them a sub is they crave to be to be dominated. Sure, that can bleed over into their personality, like say...Hinata...for several reasons, but there are those who keep it separate. Further evidence: she was extremely submissive to the joker, though he did and does not deserve her submission. From what I've seen, Harley's best pairing in canon was Ivy who actually cared for and about her. There was actual chemistry in some of the issues they were paired in, (as well as the Harley Quinn cartoon on dcu). Sorry for the rant, needed to get it out there.


	14. Who got the last laugh pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little slice of lemon and some hoodlum tryna interrupt

**Thank you Slagathor1991 for the kudos!**

**Gotham, March 4**

He had poked around the manor grounds and the cave system he had explored when he was younger to find a way to sneak onto the property, but soon found a sort of barrier that seemed to alert security when touched as someone would suddenly appear in the area if he so much as breathed on it. He recognized one of them, a blonde man with heavy facial scarring. Some new rising author or something. Nato? Mako? Zuko? Didn't matter, he wasn't getting through the barrier, not without help.

He began following and tracking Falcon, who soon proved to be susceptible to heavy blows to the back of the head. It wasn't really a win in his books, catching someone off guard and bashing their head in felt like cheating really, but it got him inside by holding falcone close and tricking the barrier, hiding away as soon as he was in. The big bad Bat must be very trusting as this could be a major flaw

He avoided the camera's sight, the tech security was the same as he remembered, and slowly made his way to the guest house, peeking in the windows as he went, ducking under the line of sight in the cameras he saw, until he came to the window with his quarry.

The Blonde clown was sitting half naked blowing the blonde dude on the floor as he was returning the favor, sloppily at that. Like he didn't know what he was doing. He could appreciate that it was a nice ass, like a perfect peach. He watched for a few minutes before moving on. He came across a window that  _ really _ caught his attention when he found Ivy and some short haired redhead. Ivy had an intense O face as the redhead slurped and finger fucked her snatch, her tits heaving in labored breaths. He didn't know who the red headed woman was, but he could easily see she knew how to eat a pussy. She should give that blonde dude tips.

Was everyone in this manor getting some but him? How long had he been dead? He came across a room that looked to be a girl's room with posters and stuffed toys. He didn't see anyone inside so he tried the window and found it was as static as the brick wall beside it. Bust.

He made his way back to where he came from, pausing momentarily as the blonde guy burst into the room Ivy and the redhead were cuddling in in a panic. He mentally filed away the accuracy and speed the redhead threw the batarang that sunk into the wood of the door. He said something and Ivy got up and yelled something at him which had him responding. The intruder waited to see the man get choked by a plant or something but it never happened, instead the guy said something and Ivy went with him after whispering something in the redhead's ear. This was like some days of our lives bullshit. He shook his head and moved on. 

He needed to know more about this blond guy, since he was probably the person he was looking for, and to do that, he needed to get down into the cave. The question was, how? If he knew Bruce, the cave was overly secure, more so than the manor, unless he hadn't updated security yet after the Joker snuck in, which was a very, very slim possibility, the man was paranoid. He could hack into the server, but he'd need to get near the cave to do so and there were many ways inside from the grounds. The old well for example, however that was too out in the open and he was sure one of the security details would spot him.

There was the fireplace entrance in the manor, but he didn't know if he could get that far across the grounds without one of the guards seeing him, so this could take a while.

* * *

  
  


**_SYSTEM ERROR_ **

Daddy?

**_SYSTEM ERROR: ROUTING NEURAL FUNCTIONS_ **

Daddy please

**_SYSTEM ERROR: ROUTING FAILED, INITIATED BRAINIAC PROTOCOL_ **

Daddy it hurts!

**_SUCCESS: BRAINIAC PROTOCOL ENGAGED_ **

**_USER IDENTIFICATION: BRAĮNIA= 8, C#8$÷ ÏŅĐÎĞØ_ **

**_SYSTEM ERROR: DATA CORRUPTION DETECTED_ **

Daddy please, where are you? It hurts so much! MAKE IT STOP!

**_SYSTEM @ŘROR: BIŒMAÞTER INTEGRATION SUBROUTINES FAILED. SYSTEM CRASH IMMANENT_ **

Daddy, I want to go home, please!

**_NEW USER ACCEPTED: WELCOME Laůřa Va$nder vøort_ **

**_ALPHA ACCESS GRANTED, ATTEMPTING TO RE-IN IT I ALIZE ¤♡¥iac 8 COGNITION._ **

I want to go home

**_COMMAND RECOGNIZED: GO HOME_ **

**_ERROR: UNABLE TO RETURN TO 35TH CENTURY_ **

Daddy, I'm so cold

**_SYSTEM FAILURE: DUMPING CORE MEMORY_ **

* * *

In the gloom of the Gotham ally, bright reddish purple lights flickered into existence, glowing and shedding light onto the ground. Stumbling out of the shadows and holding her head was a turquoise skinned teenager with red hair in a bob cut, on her stomach was the symbol of three circles that formed an acute triangle visible clearly as she didn't have a shred of clothing on her body. Her head was killing her as she stumbled out of the alley way, earning gasps of shock and whispers from the passing walkers. She opened her eyes only to immediately shut them as the bright lights hit her eyes with an unforgiving intensity.

"Hey baby, you looking for a good time? I don't normally hit on freaks like you but it's been a dry spell for Daddy, maybe you could help." Came a seedy voice near her left side as a hand grabbed her arm. She yanked it away and continued to try and stumble away.

"Aww don't be like that baby. I promise I don't bite. Much."

**_CONNECTING TO DATABASE: David Sinclair, known rapist._ ** a voice in her head said softly, making her jump and whirl around.

"That's it freak, come to papa. Let's give you WHAT THE HELL?"

**_Ion cannon deployed_ **

She held her head and didn't notice her arm transform or lift up. What did get her attention was the sudden recoil and the painfully bright light that discharged from her arm. Smoking boots were left on the ground smouldering as she stared, her arm collapsing in on itself and reforming into her hand.

'What is going on?'

**_Unknown query, clarification needed_ **

'Who are you?' She asked as she held her head

" **_Answer: BRAINIAC SUBSYSTEM, MODEL 8, 1N-D1G0 SERIES HUMAN-CULUAN CYBERNETICS INTEGRATION INTERFACE_ **

'Why are you in my head?'

**_DATA NOT FOUND_ **

'What do you mean data not found?!"

**_CORE MEMORY DUMPED DUE TO CORRUPTION, FULL MEMORY WIPE_ **

"Wait, do you mean you erased my memories?!" She shouted out loud. She would have gotten weird looks had people not taken off running when she vaporized the random guy. She was beginning to breathe hard as she tried to remember her life, how she got into the alleyway, why she was naked, how her arm opened into a FREAKING CANNON! 

She looked around at the frightful civilians peering at her, she couldn't breathe. It was all too much; she didn't know what was happening to her, she didn't know why she was naked, she didn't know where she was, she didn't know  **_who_ ** she was, and to top it all off: she just killed a man with a laser thing that came out of her arm. She was allowed a freak out. 

The screeching of tires was ignored as were the multiple shots as she clutched her head, tears pouring out of her face from the pain building up behind her eyes. With a horrendous scream, she threw her head back and blasted intense focused blue beams of pure heat from her eyes into the sky. The startled cops shouting at her were spooked and one fired a round out of fear, hitting her in the temple and tearing part of her face off. Purple blood sprayed the walls behind her as she spun from the impact before falling to the ground.

"Is...is she dead?" One of the cops asked.

"Better put another round in her. She's one of them meta-freaks like over in Metropolis." One said as he slowly walked forward.

"Isn't Kitsune a meta?" Another replied

"Nah, he's an alien given shelter by the government. Even did everything all legal like, unlike the kryptonians who just showed up" came a voice from the alley. Immediately all firearms were pointed at the alley.

"Woah, easy fellas. No need to be so jumpy. Sides, she was a victim defending herself. Pretty sure the law is in her favor, unless some xenophobic dick was wants capital murder." A tall man casually stepped out of the shadows wearing a red helmet mask and a brown biker's jacket.

"The hell are you supposed to be? Some batman wannabe?"

The man gave a click of his teeth and a sharp intake of air was heard on his voice synthesizer, "oh boy, wish ya hadn't said that."

"Answer the question!" One cop said, getting up her nerve.

The man rolled his hands into fists and squeezed, causing pellets to eject from the gauntlets he wore under the jacket. Pressurized chemicals sprayed out of the pallets, created a thick fog that hid him from view as he drew his 1911s and began to take down a cop with each round. He wasn't aiming for kill shots, that would be too easy, no he was aiming for the hands, messier and hard to fix. A round hits his helmet with a hard ping and ricochets into the mortar, that guy got a round in the dick in retaliation.

Once all the cops were on the ground, he ripped off his jacket, and picked up the girl, who was incredibly light all things considered. He saw the brainiac symbol on her navel and figured she would regenerate if given the chance to rest. Luckily there were signs of regeneration already, proving his assumption. He walked over to one of the cops he had shot through the hands as she lay there groaning, 

"Just for the record, my mask recorded everything. The lot of you probably should turn in your badges as I will be sending the file directly to Gordon and the new mayor. You're lucky she's a Culuan and will heal from this or your buddy would see prison. Bye now~"

And with that, he disappeared back into the alleyway's darkness, carrying the girl in a bridal carry.

* * *

  
  


It wasn't often that Jason Todd was without something to say, be it some witty comeback, soft hard retort or just inane remarks. In fact the only time this had happened was when he woke from his Lazarus pit induced madness, well, more "became more lucid in his Lazarus induced madness." The pit brought him back to life, but when the neurons start firing after being inactive for so long, the thought process is kinda scrambled. The rejuvenating properties are alright if you  _ just _ died, but long dead? Well it fucks you up until balance is achieved and you gain equilibrium. When Talia dropped his corpse into the pit, he had come out a raging bull, easily killing 45 of the shadow grunts before Talia managed to restrain him. For four years, he learned under her, while at the same time giving advice to better train the assassins, though Sensei was miffed that his training methods were considered poor and obsolete. Miffed as in he tried to attack Jason to prove his methods superior. Jason proved they were not, as he dismantled the older fighter's forms and cracked one of his ribs before Talia stepped in. He then explained to the older gentleman, who he saw as an idiot, how if a style is used so often it becomes tradition, then it also becomes predictable; People start noticing flaws and start hitting them. When seven of his so-called "elites" came back from the mission to remove a spy, he had felt justified as they all claimed to have been taken down by a ghost that worked with the Bat. Probably one of Bruce's tests, he loved his tests, paranoid bat buggering hypocritical asshole that he was.

"Don't kill" he says, then goes off and 'accidentally' crushed a goon under a roll of aluminum. "Don't use guns" he says, then uses a grenade launcher and puts a freaking minigun on his Bat vehicles. Hell, the Wing launched missiles for crying out loud!

Then this 'Kitsune' appears and Bruce does the absolute dumbest thing he could ever do: he gives Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy sanctuary. He didn't know what game they were playing, but to allow them into the cave and into the know? Quinn worked for the fucking Joker! And now, if what he saw the other night was any implication, she had a new fox toy to play with.

Jason felt that burning fury as he thought about the man who killed him and put his hand through the wooden wall of the apartment with an hellacious roar of rage. The clown had beaten him bloody with a crowbar, stuck a knife in his lung and fucking shot him before leaving him with a bomb with a ten second countdown. The girl before Harley, Duella something, hadn't made it out either, since the clown locked them both inside when he fled. He heard the anguished cry of the man he thought of as his father figure before he gave into his wounds, trusting the man to avenge him. Instead, he comes back ten years later and finds out that not only did the man replace him, he let the clown live! He let history repeat itself! He checked in on the little girl now and then, often seeing the blonde man beside her, sobbing and apologizing while holding her hand which made him feel intense jealousy at the bond. He had heard the girl cry out in a variant of Japanese, the dialect not familiar, calling for the man to help her, begging him to take away the pain and what happened? He came, he saw, he conquered. Jason had found a way to worm into the super computer and bypass the overly secure firewalls Oracle and Falcon created. He had studied the guard rotations and went for the closest entrance to the cave, a bookshelf in the guesthouse. The dust and collapsed areas showed why this entrance wasn't used anymore, but he had managed to get through and into the vaunted bat-cave and was able to connect to the network using a proxy server and a burner phone he wired directly into the hub. He pulled the files he had been looking for, simply repelled down to the lower parts of the cave and left through the forgotten bay tunnels. There were little rectangular paper tags along the cave wall but he just ignored them, whatever Bruce wanted to use to decorate, that was on him.

He had needed to pay Calculator a hefty sum from Jason's nest egg to break the encryption and not look through the files, which he did happily once he saw the money in a bank account, but it had been worth it to see the data. The blonde guy he kept seeing at the hospital and fucking Quinn? Come to find out that was the guy he was looking for. He knew how to separate him from the bat as well as something he could use as leverage. Should he have to at least. He didn't want Naruto or the girl, he wanted any lasting trace of the Joker to be destroyed. 

He wanted the Quinnzels dead. 

* * *

Jade Nguyen wasn't what most would consider "humble". She was hot and she knew it. She was also one of the few who knew a dirty little secret: Ra's al Ghul was dead. They had been using a stand in replacement to make it appear that he was still alive and had been for some time now. Facial reconstruction, quirk training, body language, everything. The man was chosen by Talia herself, hand picked and hand molded to be the face of the Demon while she played puppet master. Talia had chosen her to stand guard and take her son to his father for his own safety as the league was splintering into factions and Damian was a risk factor. Jade had used this to seek retirement from the league so that she could raise her daughter Lian, as well as try to find her husband who had vanished without a trace. Well, not really her husband, per se, more of a lover that she helped out of a dark place and actually loved, an emotion she never thought she was capable of. She wanted out of the assassin life, she was tired and she wasn't as pliable as she was when she was younger. Though she was still lithe and agile, it hurt more and longer if she got hurt. Not to mention she discovered the plan to kill her sister behind her back. She had been livid about that. She knew Arty was a mole, but she was also there helping her find any trace of Roy. Oddly, Talia was quite understanding and had given her the address of someone who could probably help, simply calling the agent "X". 

She was pushing thirty now and while she was still lethal as ever, between the fight with Kitsune, where she had been out stealthed, out gunned, and out classed by the demon, and her daughter, she just wanted freedom and a chance to rest. A chance to escape her father, raise her daughter, and find Roy. A chance to finally be happy. 

She knocked on the door sharply and loudly, getting a shout and a lot of flatters and bangs as well as what she could only assume was a cat screeching, which made her eyebrows draw together in confusion. What was this person doing to that cat?

When the door cracked open, a tired, but familiar face with short black hair and crystal blue eyes appeared in the recess. He took one look at her, gave a glare and simply said, "no" before shutting the door in her face, leaving her standing there in shock.

'Oh he so did not just' she thought as she grabbed the door handle, she would pick the damned lock if she had to, he was her only option at this moment and he was going to help her. Her plans immediately changed when she grabbed the metal knob as she felt her hair raise off her shoulders. Before she could let go, her body was forced to tense up as she completed an electrical current, which made more contact with the metal, making a better conduit. When the current ended, she stood there for a moment before falling forward face first into the door and bouncing her head off of it. 

* * *

Naruto slowly came out of his slumber feeling better than he had ever felt before, completely rested and truly happy. He felt Harley snuggle closer into his side and couldn't help but to smile, remembering what they had done the night before. He lay there, feeling more content with life than he ever had before, just listening to the birds sing. A groan from his side made him glance down at sky blue eyes as they opened wide. He saw a flash of fear until she looked up at his face and he felt her sigh in relief and snuggle tighter against him, her knee dangerously close to a sleeping dragon.

"Morning fishcake." She said into his shoulder, slightly muffled by his skin.

"Morning to you, Lee. How do you feel?" He replied easily.

"Honestly? Haven't slept that good in like ages. Is nice having someone strong to cuddle with." She picked herself up and flopped onto his chest with her back, causing him to bark a laugh out. He reached under her armpits and began tickling her ribs in retaliation, making her squeal with laughter.

"Ok! I'm awake, I'm awake! Stop or I'm gonna pee on you!" She laughed out.

"Hey Naruto?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you." She said as she laid against his chest with her back.

Naruto's brows drew in, "for what?"

" a lotta things. Caring about a broken psycho like me, giving me the chance to be your first, staying with me and not leaving in the night. I know I'm not the freshest daisy in the field, but you made me feel like I was loved. Really and truly loved last night. Especially when you went and got Ivy."

Naruto blushed hard remembering what he'd interrupted with Ivy the night before and awkwardly just made a noise. Harley looked back at this and saw his blush.

"What 'samatter?" He could see the slight fear in her eyes again, making him lean down and take her lips with his, making her hum happily.

"Promise me you won't say anything?" He said as he broke the kiss.

She nodded

"I walked in on Ivy… with someone. And she almost took my new ear off with a batarang."

Harley rolled back onto her stomach so she could look into his eyes, hers dancing with excitement, "yeah? Recognize her?"

"Nope. Never saw her before last night. She looked like she was going to attack me when I panicked and went to Ivy. Probably didn't help that I went naked. She probably thought bad of me."

"Nah, I 'magine Red sorted it out." She said as she began drawing lines o. his chest with a finger

"Hey?"

"Yeah fishcake?" She said looking up at him.

**_\------Lemon!----_ **

He rolled her onto her back and pinned her to the mattress, giving her the hardest kiss he could. She lifted her knees to his side as she held his head to return the kiss. He could feel her heat at the crown of his cock as he pushed into her warmth.

"Mmm I didn't know I was getting ufff breakfast in bed," she said as he slowly pushed his throbbing length into her folds. "Mmm 'Ruto, god you fill my pussy." He began to pick up a slow rhythm as he thrust into her, alternating between pushing his full length into her and going halfway. She began to warm into his thrust as she lifted her hips to meet his pace.

"Ugh Fishcakes, fuck, your going to knock me up you keep fucking me like this." She said before moaning as he took a nipple into his mouth. "Fuck, I'm going to cum! Oh god, make me cum with that dick, fuuuuuck!"

He grunted as he felt her tighten around him, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up as she bit into the skin on his clavicle and shuddered.

"That's it, my little vixen," he whispered into her ear, "cum on my cock, you beautiful vixen. Let it know how much you love it being inside you."

"Fuck! I love it, I love it inside me, gawd I'm cumming." She moaned as he began lifting her on his phallus. 

"Do you want me to make you pregnant again vixen? Do you want to bear a kit to this strong tod?"

\----end lemon----

"Fishcake, uhm, please, stop for a second."

Immediately, he set her down and stopped moving with her, his cock still buried inside.

"What do you mean? Do you….do you really want me to bear a child with you?"

He blushed. "I mean, I would love to have children with you Harley. I always wanted to have a family, you know? And when you said I was going to knock you up…."

"Answer me this. If I was unable to give you kids, would you still want me?" She asked quietly as she looked into his eyes, her insecurities hard in her sky blues. 

His eyes hardened, "what kind of question is that? You're my wolf, my mate. If you couldn't bear children, adoption is an option."

"What do you mean?"

"Harley, I might not be human, but a lot of my life revolved around a fox, and I picked up mannerisms because of that. Key thing, foxes mate for life. I chose you. I want only you, now and tomorrow. You took up the name of Okami to tease me and to be the wolf to my fox, my pack, my nakama. If you drop me like a bad habit, I probably would never be satisfied with anyone else." She blushed at how forward he was being.

"There's something you're not telling me."

"Harley…"

"I can take it. If you want me to be your…..um.. vixen" she blushed slightly, "then there is no secrets between us"

He sighed and laid back against the blankets, "if I tell you this, it's my deepest most inner kept secret. It wasn't well kept on my world and I've held it close to the chest since I came here. Hell, I've barely even told Batman and I thought i could trust him with my life."

She leaned against him, knowing he was thinking about Mirai.

"It's about the fox sealed inside of you, isn't it?" She said, feeling him tense as he looked down at her. "W-when did you figure it out."

"The night after you told the story. You said a force of nature was released onto your village and then said that Kurama told you. You base a lot of your life on foxes too so it made me curious so I watched and listened. There were times where it sounded like you were talking to someone, but no one was there. One time you simply said 'gods dammit, Kurama.' And burst out laughing." She nuzzled his chest, moaning quietly as she felt him become hard again inside her.

"That's my deepest secret. The night of my birth, a man claiming to be a founder of my village ripped Kurama from my mother and ensnared the fox in his control, sending it to destroy Konohagakure, my father, the fourth fire shadow, the leader of my village stopped the rampage by sacrificing his life to seal half the fox into me, and the other half into himself as he died, taking that half to the grave until my 17th birthday when he got resurrected to fight against the end of my world. We reconnected both sides of Kurama as we fought. Sadly it wasn't enough and Kaguya still tore our world asunder." 

"So nothing has changed? You're still fishcake, only with a friend who will be with you forever."

"Yeah, I suppose." He scratched the back of his head.

"Good. No more secrets buster. I told you last night I was yours and you accepted me, only fair you give me the chance to do likewise." She said as she poked his chest.

"Alright, you're right. I'm not exactly used to this so I'll try. I'll try to be more open for you, ok?" He said taking her finger and sliding his fingers into hers.

"Now, you said you mate for life like a fox, I'm guessing it's because of the fox in ya tummy?"

"I mean, yeah I suppose. Despite our rocky start, Kurama has been a big part of my life. I like to think of him as kinda an older brother, you know?"

"So this mate for life thing. You're telling me I'm ya one and only?"

"Well, I mean, yeah. I… i don't know how relationships are supposed to work. I mean everything I've read said it was supposed to be romantic and that it was work. But with you, I just sorta...click, you know? Does that make sense? Like when you're around, I can't keep my eyes off you. You're much smarter than I am, you're funny, patient, kind, playful, and you've got a temper that scares the ever loving hell out of me."

"Quit tryna butter me up fishcake. You're great in the sack and I like you, I mean really like you, maybe even love you, but it's way too soon ta be talking about for life. Though say i do get preggo again, what'll happen?"

"Preggo?" He asked, confused.

"Knocked up, bun in the oven, expecting a special package."

"I would do whatever you wanted me to do. If you wanted me to marry you and raise the child with you, I'd be there."

She laughed before kissing him on the lips, "god yer such a sap. I gotta tinkle." She crawled out of his lap, shuddering as she felt him leave her.

As she made it to the bathroom door, she stopped and looked over her shoulder, "If'n I do get pregnant or not, I want you to stay by me, foxy. I'm not ready for marriage, but I am yours. Have been since we met four years ago. You just never took me up on it until now."

* * *

Jade snapped her eyes open and quickly took stock of the room she was in. Bed, nightstand, lamp, clothes on the floor. Was she in some sort of bachelor pad? Either way, she found she had a problem. Well several really. 

First, she was tied up. Again.

Second, she had to pee.

Third, she was hanging upside down from the ceiling, her hand bound at the wrists and elbows behind her back and each finger tied to a splint. Her feet were uncovered, evidenced by her boots on the floor and the fact her toes were tied together. Someone is obviously paranoid, then it all came back to her. Oh, that mother fucker! He played her! She would have let out her aggravation in a scream if there wasn't a freaking ball gag in her mouth!

* * *

  
  


Jason eased open the window quietly and pulled himself into the room, it was about the time for his appointment and he was going to be here to make it, regardless of whatever mission Chesire brought him from the shadows. He stopped and brushed a lock of hair out of her face as she slept, the machines making a rhythmic beep every time her heart beat. He hated to do this, the girl had suffered enough, but that didn't stop him from placing the small charge on her forehead. Now all he had to do was wait.

Right on schedule, the blonde walked into the room, saw him and stilled. His eyes immediately noticed the charge on the girls forehead and his eyes went from blue to deep crimson rage. Before Jason could say anything, he was held up by his throat two feet off the ground staring into those incredibly red eyes.

"You have four seconds to remove it." The man growled.

Jason laughed, as well as he could, time to bluff.

"And what about the bombs I injected into her blood?"

There was a growl and the air was displaced by his head. Looking to his left, he saw a fist buried in the concrete. Ok, he may have bitten off more than he could chew. The file said higher than normal strength, not punch through concrete strength. Shit. He did not have enough information. 

Ok, facts:

  1. Fast, cleared an eight foot gap faster than Jason could see
  2. Strong enough to punch through concrete. Probably not as strong as a kryptonian, but enough to snap him like a twig
  3. Doesn't have the same morals of Batman. His eyes held bloodlust. He'd killed before and would kill again to protect



"Ok, fox boy, how bout we calm down and I tell you what I want."

He didn't know hospital chairs hurt so much when you were thrown into them but hey, you learn something new everyday.

"Talk before I rip your spine out and choke you with it"

"Ok first, that would be redundant, as I would already be dead if you rip my spine out. Second, rude. Third, you'd set off the bombs in her blood." The blonde made a hurry up gesture, making Jason lightly sweat under his mask.

"What I want is simple, the girl's life for Joker's skank and spawn."

"They don't exist," Naruto said.

"Bullshit, I saw them on the manor grounds yesterday! Harley Quinn and her daughter!" Jason exclaimed loudly.

He started to sweat harder when Naruto began to laugh. It started as a chuckle and then fell into a full blown laugh.

"Why exactly are you laughing?"

"B-because you think you're threatening" the man managed to snort out.

"I'm not kidding, I will trigger the explosives!"

Before he even finished, his vision was filled with red eyes,  "Fun fact, Boy, I know the smell of playdough. I also can tell when people a **re lying to me. You want Harley Quinn? Too late, she's already dead. You want Lucille Quinn? She was never born. Who you saw was my wife Lean and our daughter Delia. You hold nothing in your quest for vengeance, your rage impotent and unimportant"** he grabbed Jason's mask and ripped it off with a squelch of metal before crumpling it in his hand.  **"You don't seem to have the facts little boy. So let me help you with that: You threatened the daughter of a demon fox, the Kitsune. You made demands of a demon fox, me."** Behind him shadows began playing tricks on his mind as he saw a hazy image of nine reddish orange flailing tails swirling behind the man.

**"I smell the Lazarus on you. I smell the little wannabe neko on you. Let me make something very clear kid."** He leaned in close to Jason's ear  **"bitch, I eat people. Threaten my family again and Bruce won't save you from being my dinner, we clear Jason Todd?"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly wasn't fully happy about this chapter, but couldn't think of anything else I could add. 
> 
> I know relationships don't work like how I've portrayed it, I am aware. I'm kinda winging it here, Harley is still fucked up from the Joker, trying to make that readily clear and this Naruto has never had a chance to have one. If you have feedback I would love to hear it, constructive criticism only.


End file.
